There is always hope

[Denise0203]

I am a new member and hope to spread optimism for romance and love.  I am so full of joy it is hard to contain.   My husband died 3 years ago (I am in my late 60s), and although it gets lonely, I was not at all interested in meeting a new person romantically. 

Recently an old high school classmate contacted me.  I had actually had a crush on him but we never dated.  We have so very much in common, as well as a common history and what can I say things just took off between us.

When you're not looking, it will find you.  I wish for everybody to find this kind of happiness.  In the meantime, find things to do that make you happy.  Work, volunteer, join an interesting club:  make yourself an interesting person; somebody you'd like to pal around with yourself.💖

[Batya33]

Welcome!! I never ever went for the "if you're not looking" but I believe if you are looking out of desperation then you'll pick bad matches.  If I had not been proactive at looking for a husband from a perspective of a confident, fun, fulfilled life -while being 100% honest that my main life goals were husband and opportunity to start a family - I would not be married now and have our son.  Ironically the way it happened could be described as "I wasn't looking" and there was an amount of fate and magic- but I know the truth and I'm proud to say how hard I worked to become the right person to find the right person. 

I know of many who were lucky and met their match in high school or college or early 20s and it reads like that "I wasn't looking and love found me".  It can happen that way but I was never going to risk "not looking" because my biological clock was ticking loudly.  I was desperate -more so -in my early 20s and my choices reflected that -I was trying too hard, out of desperation.  That doesn't work for sure. 

I'm so glad you found a partner later in life and I'm sorry for the loss of your husband!  I did all you suggested -working, volunteering and activities and had so little free time in my 20s and 30s so I made sure many of those activities exposed me to meeting either single people or people who could introduce me to appropriate single people.  

[limichelle]

Welcome!

 

I agree with both of what you and Batya said!

I believe if you’re not looking out of desperation then love comes along. 
 

I like your sentiments and am happy you reconnected with someone. 

[Batya33]

I'm actually not a fan of "love comes along" - love to me is far more about giving than a feeling and I don't think it comes along or that the right person comes along.  I'm much more about thinking about it as a proactive process.  If you have a fun, fulfilling life, reasonably confident you will make choices in meeting people -not just for romantic reasons - you will put yourself out there, you will be open to connecting with people and increase your chances that one of those people will be a good match.  I think it's fine to express it passively as long as the mindset is active.

[catfeeder]

Welcome, Denise. Your story is inspiring, and thank you.

[Seraphim]

Welcome ! I am glad you found someone to warm your heart again.