Very confussed with a girl

[Confussed_guy]

Many years ago I met a girl online, we talked to each other but nothing special and then we stopped talking.

Recently I saw a picture from her social media and I texted her where was it and if she would be my guide and show me around the city if I travel there, she agreed. I wasn't looking for anything because I broke up with my ex-gf only weeks before so my intention was only to meet new people, travel around and enjoy life, nothing else.

We started talking on a daily basis and she let me know that she was coming to my city for few days. We decided to meet each other one afternoon for the first time and definitely, we had a great time talking and getting to know each other.

Then I decided to visit her city as we agreed and that's what I did. I visited her city for 4 days and she showed me around the city each afternoon (because in the morning she has stuff to do).

Here I have to describe the girl. She is a Russian girl, so the stereotypes don't lie... very shy girl that you don't expect a lot of body contact either laugh at your jokes and of course, she was beautiful. :)

During these four days, we had a great time when we were together. At first, she was quite reserved but as time passed and she laughed a lot at my comments and answered my sarcasm/jokes with other sarcasm/jokes. We talked about everything about our life; the past, the present and the future. That's when I found out that she was perfect for me due to her personality and the way she thinks.

On the last day, she asked me if I liked her as a woman and I replied yes, she was perfect for me but the main constraints are the distance and she is expecting a very busy year (full-time job + master degree), it would be an unnecessary complication for both us unless I live in the same city as her. She totally agreed because she will prioritize the studies above any other things. As the clever guy am I, I reframe her the same question and she told me that I was really cute and she needs more time to know whether she really likes a person or not. Here I have to say that she's very selective, she takes into account especially the small details of a man as what she told me about her past dates. She had only been with 2 guys, 1 for three months and the last for 5 years.

I told her that she will miss me (because I knew that she's a serious person and not used to laugh a lot), the previous day she told me she will not but the last day she told me shyly yes, a little bit.

Just before the farewell, I thanked her for the company and the effort she made and she replied that we'll see again on New Year's Eve in my city!

I have to say that on the last day she was more receptive than the previous days, maybe it was due to my last day in the city¿? who knows. For instance, we had dinner before my train departed and I had to cut short the conversation because otherwise, I would have missed the train!

You may ask me about the body contact, there was no almost body contact as she's reserved and so on, the most "warm" thing she did was on the last day before my train departed she touches my face sizing my beard with her fingers ... I know it sounds strange but that happened.

Now I'm back in my city and really don't know what to do from now. Of course, I want to keep in touch with her but she's so cold via texting that I think it will hurt the possible relationship. I have thought about calls because we called before and I have to say she is a completely another person when calling than texting, once we spent 1h talking when we arranged a call for 20 minutes...

What should I do?

[Wiseman2]

Keep in touch, but since you're not exclusive nor physical, date local women.

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, Confussed_guy said:

You may ask me about the body contact, there was no almost body contact as she's reserved and so on, the most "warm" thing she did was on the last day before my train departed she touches my face sizing my beard with her fingers ... I know it sounds strange but that happened.

 

 

Joking aside, I do think you should have at least tried for the kiss there. Shy or not(dunno where you heard stereotypes about Russians being shy btw, they all drink a lot and are very open people, now that is a stereotype) she asked if you liked her and even initiated physical contact. Like this you dont know where you are. Are you a penpal? Are you something more? Youll be stuck on that instead of knowing the answer and proceeding accordingly.

edit Damn, cant upload gif. Think of Brian from family Guy having his directions to a girl shown by traffic tower controller

[Andrina]

No matter where you travel to, on vacation or business, there will always be a certain percentage of people you will find attractive and share chemistry with among people you meet. The majority of the time, long distance stuff comes with too many cons to work.

Phones and computers make it so easy to fantasize about someone who seems so close, just a click away, yet they are too far away for all the pros that come with local dating. It's cheaper, you get to really know a person far sooner than someone long distance, and you get to physically spend time together regularly.

Just because you're not happy in the present with your breakup doesn't mean you should look to the past, to someone you had a cyber crush on, to meet those needs.

And don't overlook your cultural or personality differences--traits you wish were different--just because she's a pretty lady. 

Question is, why are you choosing one of the most difficult ways of dating there is? When I was single, I limited my dating pool to within a 45 minute drive of my home. I suggest some similar boundaries for you for a more satisfying dating life.