Shaymarie13 Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 My baby’s father and I broke up a month ago. I’m currently 7 months pregnant. He broke up with me because he didn’t feel like I was affectionate enough & I don’t didn’t like hanging out with his friends because I have social anxiety. The week before we broke up he was being super distant & mean to me. I wanted to work on the relationship, go to therapy and try to make things work. At that time he had no interest in that. We still have sex and he comes over almost everyday to hang out. Then he told me he does eventually want to get back together after we have time on our own. He’s taking about getting his own place. So he’s talking about the distant future. He’s talking to other girls. But told me it wasn’t serious and he wasn’t looking for anything. I just feel confused. I feel like if his intentions were really to eventually get back together, he wouldn’t be talking to other girls. It just doesn’t sit right with me that I’m pregnant & we have a 2 year old, and he’s okay talking to other girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 17 minutes ago, Shaymarie13 said: The week before we broke up he was being super distant & mean to me. I wanted to work on the relationship, go to therapy and try to make things work. At that time he had no interest in that. We still have sex and he comes over almost everyday to hang out. He broke things off with you, so do NOT give him anything! If he is doing this , then you are never really apart. ( in what sense are you two split up?) He is using you physically.. this is okay with you? 😕 When a couple breaks up.. they should be apart & remain that way, unless or until the problems that caused it have been dealt with. Be strong.. be on your own, and don't give into his carrying on. He's either in.. or he's out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Giving him uncommitted sex will not make him want to get back together. Quite the opposite, actually. Hopefully he is paying you child support and helping with your obstetrician bills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 You need a lawyer to sort out child support for both kids. Boot him to the curb and dont look back. Why are you having sex with him? He's using you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaymarie13 Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 1 hour ago, boltnrun said: Giving him uncommitted sex will not make him want to get back together. Quite the opposite, actually. Hopefully he is paying you child support and helping with your obstetrician bills. Yeah I feel like I’m giving him everything that someone in a relationship would without the commitment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaymarie13 Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 I guess some of the reasons I’m still holding onto him is bc I want to keep our family together. I guess that’s not really my responsibility anymore since he’s the one that walked away. I like the intimacy and company but idk if it’s worth it anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 How old is he? Can you move in with friends or family for a while? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coily Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Yikes. This guy has no interest in having a family. He is basically living without consequence of his actions, and never getting told no. He needs to grow up or get out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 10 hours ago, Shaymarie13 said: I guess some of the reasons I’m still holding onto him is bc I want to keep our family together. I guess that’s not really my responsibility anymore since he’s the one that walked away. I like the intimacy and company but idk if it’s worth it anymore. But your family is not together. Giving him sex when he wants it is not "together". Is he paying child support and helping pay the obstetrician bills? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaymarie13 Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 6 minutes ago, boltnrun said: But your family is not together. Giving him sex when he wants it is not "together". Is he paying child support and helping pay the obstetrician bills? I would put him on child support if he wasn’t helping with our daughter or spending time with her. Part of him being here almost everyday is to spend time with our daughter. Regardless of how he’s treating me and our relationship, he is a good dad & he has a good relationship with our daughter. But yeah he gives me 250-300 a week which I personally feel is excessive but he insists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 I would get that filed in court. It is not you "putting him on" child support. It is to provide for your children and to protect you AND him. Let's say someday he needs to prove he has been supporting his children. If there are no records how could he prove it? Or if he wants to finance a home he needs to show his expenses. Right now it looks like he isn't paying anything and your word is not a legal document. Child support agreements are not "punishments". They exist for the good of the children and the parents. I'm pleased he's being responsible but still, a formal agreement is the best way to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambert Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 You seriously need to get your head out of the clouds. Having sex with him is a huge mistake. Don't hang out with him either. You are rewarding horrible behavior. He should be paying child support. It's not excessive whatever the amount. You take that money and use it for the children- food clothing, even a portion of the living expenses, savings for the children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 You might want to bring this up with your doctor so you can get tested for STDs and STIs. He's sleeping around with others, and who knows for how long this has been going on. He's putting you and the baby at risk, and it can be quite serious in some cases. Can you confide in someone close to you to get support, family or a friend? I'm sorry this is happening to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaymarie13 Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 Feels like he wants me waiting for him when he’s ready to play family again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambert Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 26 minutes ago, Shaymarie13 said: Feels like he wants me waiting for him when he’s ready to play family again. Don't let him do this to you! You deserve better! And you can find better. focus on yourself and the kids for right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Mosse Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 End the relationship and take care of yourself and the kids. Don't let the years pass you by with this lousy excuse of a human. Do you really want to be looking back 10 or 20 years or more on this depressed that you spent a good deal of your life wasted on someone who is too selfish to care about you or doesn't love you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 53 minutes ago, Shaymarie13 said: Feels like he wants me waiting for him when he’s ready to play family again. And how do you feel? Do you want to sit at home with the kids while he runs around? What will you tell the kids? That Daddy wants to play with other women and you're just going to wait around hoping someday he picks you again? This has to be terrible for your self esteem and your peace of mind. You need to focus on your health and your baby's health, not waiting around and having sex with someone who doesn't care about you the way you want him to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 12 hours ago, Shaymarie13 said: Yeah I feel like I’m giving him everything that someone in a relationship would without the commitment. That's because you are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaymarie13 Posted June 16, 2021 Author Share Posted June 16, 2021 Thanks for your opinions guys. It’s easier to see the relationship for what it is from someone else’s POV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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