sweetie_33 Posted May 21, 2005 Share Posted May 21, 2005 When I first met you, Everything was just fine, I was too blind to see, Whats in front of my eyes. But suddenly you came to brighten my life , Everything was so bright until that night. You told me you can't continue with me, Because I'm not like what you thought I'd be. I told you I cant go on like that, and to make you want me was the only thing that i couldnt have. All I needed was another chance to fix my mistakes, and to get this heart I'll do whatever it takes. At the end, I just want to add, I'll always love you from the bottom of my broken heart... what do u think of it?! do i need to add or remove anything.. lol i was bored and thats the first poem i ever wrote! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiquelAngelo Posted May 21, 2005 Share Posted May 21, 2005 I would change "Bright Up My Life" to Brighten my life but that's just the teacher in me LOL otherwise it sounds pretty sincere Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie_33 Posted May 21, 2005 Author Share Posted May 21, 2005 thx i'll do this!!=) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiquelAngelo Posted May 21, 2005 Share Posted May 21, 2005 "In front" are 2 words lol not bad for your first one though, Are you planning on sending it to him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie_33 Posted May 21, 2005 Author Share Posted May 21, 2005 lol ok i'll edit that too=P ya i wanna send it to him sooo bad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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