ex breaks nc after 6 months.

[coooolsome]

Hmmmm, it seems as if she might be missing you. As they say, true love never forgets. I would keep the lines of communication open but be cautious. Take it slow and at her pace if you want to get back together. You can respond to the emails with a simple "Hahaha, funny, I enjoyed that" or something simple. Not to long, straight to the point.

[tman]

(I replied to the emails in a witty way basically teasing her about her sense of humour and by also returning a joke email to her.)

 

I have come to realise that i do not mind being with her or not. I do love her but for some reason I have grown up alot over the past year. I can not be bothered with all this hassle and just want to be happy. I am now myself not sure of whether it would be a good thing to be back with her.

 

Whatever happens I want to make things easy for both of us. If she is missing me I will comfort her. Not to get back with her but because i dont want her to be unhappy. I have been there its not nice. Even though she has put me through a lot over the past year I do not hold a grudge.

 

At least now we have communication and the basis for a friendship from which a relationship can blossom. If nothing comes from it and i have the wrong end of the stick, at least I will have healed and have gained my best friend back. My NC is over now I think.

[tman]

So I picked up the phone up and rang her. Just to see that she was ok after the last talk we had on messenger and also to show her that I am opening up the lines of communication to her.

I planned to keep it short and sweet, get in and out, show no signs of emotion and no relationship talk.

 

When she picked up she was so shocked to hear my voice, and I could immediately tell in her voice she was happy and excited to hear from me. She immediately told her friend she was with it was me saying its "T" its "T" and her friend from what i could her was shocked aswell doing the girly thing in the background. Anyway she started saying how nice it was to hear from me, immediately invited me out to meet up with her on Saturday to which I declined and said I was busy which its the truth cos I am working. She then asked to meet up on Sunday (tomorrow) I said I was busy in the morning which I am, and then she asked to meet with me Sunday afternoon to which i agreed.

 

What now guys? I really can't tell if she wants more than just friends.

 

I believe am totally ready to meet her and am confident that I can be around her in a mature and non needy manner.

Any tips on how to act? Did I do the right thing in agreeing to meet up?

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Glad to hear that.

 

Hope all turn out well.

 

Treat her like a friend unless she ask for more.

[coooolsome]

Congrats....yes, this could be good. As you said, she seemed to be letting her emotions go. However dont go in expecting anything. Remember, when you first broke up, desperation and neediness were huge turn offs and they still are. Be yourself, act like you dont care, but if you want to get back together with her you dont want to fall into the friend trap.

 

This said, you have initiated contact and you cannot always initiate. She asked you out which is a good thing. Dont bring up relationship stuff unless she does. Take it slow and at her pace. Good luck and keep us updated.

[tman]

Hi guys been a bit of time since i have posted as I have been quite busy with the new job...

 

Since my last post, where I was supposed to meet the up with the ex for the first time in almost a yr, not much has happened.

 

On the day of meeting up she rang to tell me that she was really ill and had the flu and so could not meet up (I must admit I am wary that this may have just been an excuse to cancel). I just said ok and did not show any sign of disappointment and told her to contact me if she would like to re-arrange to which she said she most definitely would like to. Later that night she initiated contact on messenger again apologising for not meeting up and asking me if I would like to see her mid - week or at the weekend by which time she felt she would have fully recovered. I just told her that the best thing to do would be to contact me when she was feeling 100% and that she could choose when we should meet up.

 

Since then I have heard nothing (2 weeks now) and am just wondering whether I should initiate some contact with and re arrange the meeting. However I want to act aloof and confident and assume that by chasing her up on it will contradict this.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

May be you could send her a "get well soon card".

 

If I were your ex, I would be surprised and feel good about it.

[Immy]

I've been following your story and I'm interested to see what happens with this girl-my immediate reactions are that she is messing you around and playing with your emotions. But maybe I'm just cynical. She doesn't know where she is with herself at the moment and may not be in the best position to be getting back into a relationship. My guess is that if you guys did start something up again it would be a very rocky relationship, no matter how good it was the first time.

 

Anyway, what to do now......well I think you should maybe send her a very SHORT mail-no jokes or flirting, just asking her did she recover from the flu. Or maybe a text message would be better since she hardly seems to reply to emails. Either is ok I think. Let us know how it goes.

[tman]

Thanks for the replies....

 

Guest1-9, I am not too keen on the card idea plus it would be a little too late to send a card now.

 

Immy, you are definitely not being cynical, its obvious that she has been playing games in the past. Thats one of the reasons why i do not really want to chase her in case it is all just a ploy from her to get me to chase her around. she was the one who asked to meet up and when she cancelled she was the one trying to reschedule. I did the best thing that I could do and that was to leave the ball in her court.

[Immy]

Well I think you are doing the right thing by being wary of her behaviour-keep it that way. I know how hard it must be to try to stay strong and sensible about the whole thing but I think so far you have been very sensible. She probably thought she would get more of a reaction out of you and is now frustrated that you're being so aloof.

 

Maybe wait it out a bit longer, I have a feeling you will hear from her soon and then you will be glad you held out on mailing her.

 

One thing that concerns me though is that this business with your ex is really consuming your life. I think once this situation plays out a bit more, you should try and distance yourself from it for good. Just leave it behind you and completely close that chapter of your life. I know it seems hard but as an outsider to your situation I really feel your frustration. You must break free.

[tman]

Thanks for the reply Immy, what you say is true and something that I have already done. It has been hard but the best thing i have done lately is just get on with my life and not let her consume my thoughts. Lately I have felt it more as a litlle niggling "what if" feeling rather than frustration. I think i am moving through the acceptance stage and my advice for others would be that the happier you make yourself feel and more effort and value you put into your own life, the better and stronger you will feel and more able to deal with the ex.

[Ripples]

Tman

 

Ive not been here for a while so it is interesting to hear your story update. Strangely enough my ex is coming to see me in four weeks. It was her suggestion and I think it is born out of the fact that I am moving away. From what she said the thought of me walking away scared her a little. Anyway, I expect nothing from the visit (if she actually comes!) but I do know that she will be pleasantly surprised by the person she finds here. Like you I hold a torch for her but im moving on and this will be reflected in my attitude. I feel confident, strong, healthy and wealthy. I will treat her with friendly respect but that will be all. She has lost out and I will make damn sure she sees that this time.

 

For you I think you must chill. Do not contact her but instead continue to reshape your life. Make yourself attractive in everything that you do and rest assured that new opportunities will come your way. Your ex sounds so similar to mine. If she isn't careful she will end up a sad girl if she continues to treat people the way she has treated you. Let it go now my friend - you win.

[tman]

Hey guys how u all doing? (turning cold here in London and the air conditioning in my office is still on so I'm freezing my butt off here). Got to be quick as the boss is on the prowl!

 

Ripples its really good to hear from you and see that you are still about, I have actually had you in mind when writing my last few posts and wondering when you would give me some advice...i remember how much you have been following this on going saga which closely mirrors your situation. I am really happy for you that your ex is finally coming to see you. i dont think i need to give you much advice on how to deal with things there, so good luck for the visit and take it in your stride.

Thanks for the advise dude although its not about winning its just about being happy (especially being happy without the ex).

 

My situation...

I sent her a couple of email jokes yesterday and got an email today (from last night as I did not check my emails).

She just said how she had been meaning to email me and catch up and that if I ever wanted a chat it was cool and that if i preferred to speak to her by email then in her own words "i will try to be more regular with the e-mail thing".

She then went on to tell me about whats been going on in her life, about how she is not sleeping well and taking some herbal medecines as she has been feeling hormonal and depressed, while also advising me on some good herbal remedies/vitamins that I could take.

 

That was it really. I guess I'll just keep being friendly but very aloof and leave it to her to decide if she wants to meet up. Cheers guys for all the advise.

[Ripples]

Keep bettering yourself, keep being pleasant and keep believing. You never know what the fulture will hold.

 

But most importantly keep walking.

 

I told mine that I was walking but my hand was open. If she wants to catch me up and take my hand then she wouldn't be disapointed.

 

Good luck tman.

[tman]

Hi guys..quick catch up....

 

Just been enjoying life really and getting on with things. Going out, partying etc...and have been feeling like i am back to my old self now looking forward positively to what the future may hold.

 

I received an email today from the ex (i have had nc since my last post bit she has been on line while i am but i just ignore her even though once she tried to say hi)

 

The email was overly nice thanking me "sweetie" for the money i had sent her, which was more than she had asked for (I could not bother to work the intricacies of what was owed and just paid a lump sum to her to settle things without a dispute). she asked for my bank details so that she could give me some back (to which i will refuse).

 

She then and this is what got me....told me she had a dream about me and i needed a hug which she gave me in her dream and asked if everything was ok with me. This is the first time in a year that she has shown any sign of affection towards me. Oh well onwards and upwards. I guess i'll see where this goes.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

That is good news.

 

Good luck to you.

[tman]

(Thanks guest for your kind words)

 

received an email from the ex this morning asking why i have not replied and how I was.

 

To be honest I had meant to reply over the weekend but had been a bit busy and also did not know what to say. I am obviously going to tell her to keep the excess cash however I am stumped as to what to say about the dream and hugging business (see last post).

 

One side of me says not toeven acknowledge it and pretend like I am not phased while the other says to acknowledge it but not reply in any soppy way.

 

What do you guys reckon?

[tman]

Yep i'm back.....Its been quite a while since my last post (liking the new enotalone look!)

 

Been quite busy lately and focussing on moving on and enjoying life. With the ex there has been the odd email now and again asking me how I am to which I have been answering in a friendly manner teling her how great my life is now (which it truly is).

 

However I received a text from her mid-week from her at around 12 midnight (the first time she has text me since we split up...saying how she has had a tough couple of days was feeling down and just wanted to tell someone. I responded, as I was in a club, by saying I could not talk at the moment but if she wanted to talk to ring me tomorrow or to tell me if it was urgent and i'd go outside to talk for 5 mins. I also told her to keep her chin up and stay strong. The next day I received a text from her saying thanks, "for what" I replied and she said it was thanks for being prepared to drop everyhting for her and the words of encouragement.

 

Since then she has text me back a couple of times asking me how

I am.

 

I just dont really dont know how to respond guys or where this is leading. I mean why is she opening up to me when she is down now....I am sure she has friends or others to go to for that...I am not her boyfriend and really dont want to get close to her by being a shoulder for her to cry on.

 

 

Your views guys?