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Am I A Bad Person?


JoeCookies221

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I'll try to keep this short as possible.  In my mid 20s I used to hook up with this girl every weekend.  It went on a few years . We never hung out sober it was usually just a weekend late night thing but I admittedly let it go on too long and she developed serious feelings for me.  I told her that I wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship with her however she never seems to accept that . and other than a couple slip ups over a couple years (drunk sexting) its been over 2 years since we slept together, I have her deleted on everything except Instagram and she always posts private stories that I can see because she's trying to get a reaction out of me which I never comment on them and try my best not to even look at them.

Well i was out of town last weekend and me and some friends went out drinking.  I get home at like midnight and she had posted a private story and I looked at it and it was a nude.....and so I ended up commenting which then led to sexting. She admitted to me she purposely posts the private IG story for only me to see to try to get my attention....Obviously the next day I ended up regretting it.  I feel guilty as hell, I realize she may be partially to blame to because she intentionally did it but I feel like *** because I should know better. It was by far the longest we've gone without talking to each other and I feel like this screwed it up. We're better off not talking to each other cus I don't want to give her the wrong impression. Idk I just feel like a *** person. Like I ruined the progress

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What progress? Why do you care what she thinks or is she the sister or friend of someone you know? Both of you had a fling for a few years or a fwb situation until one of you had feelings. She knew what she was doing and admitted her intentions to you. She sounds manipulative and both of you have some weird dynamic where you keep feeling guilted and she has you twisted around her finger. You don't want to date her and yet you care so much about what she thinks or giving her the wrong impression. 

Does any of this sound healthy or normal to you? Stay away from people who make you feel guilty when you shouldn't. If you think she's not the one for you or she causes drama or issues, don't communicate with her anymore and take her off your social media feed. 

Meet people who are more mature or more on your wavelength. This isn't worth the fuss. Hope you feel better soon. 

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3 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

What progress? Why do you care what she thinks or is she the sister or friend of someone you know? Both of you had a fling for a few years or a fwb situation until one of you had feelings. She knew what she was doing and admitted her intentions to you. She sounds manipulative and both of you have some weird dynamic where you keep feeling guilted and she has you twisted around her finger. You don't want to date her and yet you care so much about what she thinks or giving her the wrong impression. 

Does any of this sound healthy or normal to you? Stay away from people who make you feel guilty when you shouldn't. If you think she's not the one for you or she causes drama or issues, don't communicate with her anymore and take her off your social media feed. 

Meet people who are more mature or more on your wavelength. This isn't worth the fuss. Hope you feel better soon. 

Thanks for the response. I have anxiety and tend to overthink things. I'm one of those people who usually ends up apologizing 1st even if I feel like I'm right or Blame is 50/50.  She used to say things that made me feel horrible like I ruined her life and stuff like thar. That's why this relapse has me beating myself up

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2 minutes ago, JoeCookies221 said:

Thanks for the response. I have anxiety and tend to overthink things. I'm one of those people who usually ends up apologizing 1st even if I feel like I'm right or Blame is 50/50.  She used to say things that made me feel horrible like I ruined her life and stuff like thar. That's why this relapse has me beating myself up

Don't apologize or contact her. Neither of you need this drama. Find ways to engage in healthy activities, avoid social media if you feel your friends aren't really friends. Take care of yourself. 

 

 

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9 minutes ago, Hollyj said:

If you had blocked her, then you would not be in this position.   This was about you and getting more attention.

I had her blocked on everything she had a private story or something . I'm taking my side of the blame.  I've gone out of my way to avoid her. She said she wanted me to see that to get a reaction out of me.  It's still my fault I understand I just feel guilty 

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28 minutes ago, JoeCookies221 said:

I had her blocked on everything she had a private story or something . I'm taking my side of the blame.  I've gone out of my way to avoid her. She said she wanted me to see that to get a reaction out of me.  It's still my fault I understand I just feel guilty 

If you blocked her, then how were able to see all of her stories on Instagram?

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I think this girl probably is like in love with you to be honest. If it's been two years since you've seen her but she still thinks of you and posts stories just for you, she is obviously not over you at all. I also agree that you should block her on everything and never speak to her again. You aren't a bad person but you will be if you continue interacting with her. She's obviously really hooked on you and she doesn't have the willpower to stop contacting you. So you will have to do it.

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