Maria999 Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 Hi everyone, I’ve been talking to this guy for 4 months now, we live in different continents, never met each other. We both expressed feelings for each other, he liked me first then I started catching feelings for him. We BOTH agreed that we wouldn’t use labels because it’s too early for that, it’s not smart. Anyways, I come from a very conservative and religious country so there are things that i’m not used to do like sending sexy pics or nudes. He’s been begging me to send him sexy pics for agessss, so on Valentines day I finally stepped out of my comfort-zone and sent him a lingerie pic. His only reaction was “wow” then he left me on delivered for 20 minutes. I’m used to him hyping me up, complimenting me and telling me how freaking gorgeous I am to him. So it was weird to get such a cold reaction, I asked where he disappeared and he said that he joined a game with his friends. And that made me so upset, I felt embarrassed because I expected a better reaction, he didn’t even engage with me. What’s even worse is that he is the one who’s been begging to get them, but once he got them he totally ignores to play with his friends? What?? We argued over this and haven’t spoken to each other for 3 days because he thinks i’m overreacting. He kept trying to explain how insane and ridiculous this is so I left him on read and never replied back. Am I overreacting? Should I text him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 Wow! So you sent a stranger a sexy pic. Now, he is free to share it with his friends and everyone else on the internet. Not smart. Why are you wasting your time on someone who lives on a different continent. This is fantasy if you think this will work. You should be looking within your own country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria999 Posted February 18, 2021 Author Share Posted February 18, 2021 My face wasn’t showing and it was a white background, you cannot tell it is me🤠 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 2 minutes ago, Maria999 said: My face wasn’t showing and it was a white background, you cannot tell it is me🤠 Thank God. Listen, long distance relationships rarely work. Why aren't you looking local? You cannot have a virtual relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria999 Posted February 18, 2021 Author Share Posted February 18, 2021 Just now, Hollyj said: Thank God. Listen, long distance relationships rarely work. Why aren't you looking local? You cannot have a virtual relationship. Like I said, I live in a conservative religious country. Guys here are awfulllllllllll it’s indescribable, and meeting this guy online wasn’t intentional. I was a firm believer that LDR don’t work too. But this felt different, I hope it is. So why not invest sometime on it even if it doesn’t work out in the end. don’t wanna look back and regret not giving this a shot because he lives in a different country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 16 minutes ago, Maria999 said: My face wasn’t showing and it was a white background, you cannot tell it is me Sorry to hear this, you seem lonely in your country/culture. However, keep in mind he may just want things to masturbate to. Do you want that? That's not really a relationship, is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria999 Posted February 18, 2021 Author Share Posted February 18, 2021 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry to hear this, you seem lonely in your country/culture. However, keep in mind he may just want things to masturbate to. Do you want that? That's not really a relationship, is it? Yeah I understand that. I overthink a lot and have trust issues so i’ve always questioned his intentions but he always proves me wrong, I know for a fact that he likes me beyond my body. And he respects boundaries if i tell him no then he understands and stops asking. We are both sexual people so sometimes we’d find ourselves sexting and that’s when he asks for something sexy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 Please don't justify this kind of behavior and choice because "I don't want to regret" - here's what I would do. Put your time and energy into relocating within your country to a more balanced location or leaving if that is at all possible -like for school or work. Please do not send this person more photos. I think it's perfectly fine how he reacted/did not react. He owes you nothing. He's a chat buddy - if he is even a he, if he is even the age he says he is, etc. This is not an LDR because there's no R - it's not a relationship. It's a long distance chat buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 1 minute ago, Maria999 said: Yeah I understand that. I overthink a lot and have trust issues so i’ve always questioned his intentions but he always proves me wrong, I know for a fact that he likes me beyond my body. And he respects boundaries if i tell him no then he understands and stops asking. We are both sexual people so sometimes we’d find ourselves sexting and that’s when he asks for something sexy. Being a sexual person doesn't mean you have to choose to react by sexting with a stranger. You can make so many other choices when you feel sexual that are safe and/or fun and have nothing to do with sexting with a stranger. He intends to chat with you and sext with you and look at your nude photos. That is what he has done so those are his intentions You don't have trust issues. There's no reason to trust a chat buddy beyond chatting about things you wouldn't care if they were made public to the whole world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 25 minutes ago, Maria999 said: Like I said, I live in a conservative religious country. Guys here are awfulllllllllll it’s indescribable, and meeting this guy online wasn’t intentional. I was a firm believer that LDR don’t work too. But this felt different, I hope it is. So why not invest sometime on it even if it doesn’t work out in the end. don’t wanna look back and regret not giving this a shot because he lives in a different country. Because you will get hurt, and it is a waste of time. Why don't you seek out ex pats? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Mosse Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 It's a waste of life. Please don't engage anymore. (Also do not beat yourself up over this.) Treat this as a one time occurrence only and garbage. He is not the type of man you want in your life at all. Never send private photos of yourself or feel pressured to send images, data, money, whatever else a person might feel pressured to send online or long distance. That attention he was giving you with heavy compliments is called 'love bombing'. Google it. It's a form of manipulation and grooming especially when someone has an ulterior motive for beating off or using you for sexual gratification in this case. Did you notice there that you sent him the photo in order to receive that attention because you've become addicted to it or used to it? This is not love in any form. Good for you for not responding to any of his texts. Block and delete. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 1 hour ago, Maria999 said: he is the one who’s been begging to get them, but once he got them he totally ignores to play with his friends? Leave him alone.. don't try to 'please him' with this stuff.. this is ALL he wants.. for his own thrill. Respect yourself... find someone close to you and don't do this stuff anymore. At least with someone close, you can actually meet and fully engage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 and recognize that putting yourself out there like that will make anyone feel vulnerable. You may have overreacted a bit that you didn't get the reaction you were hoping for. Having said that, pressuring someone to send nudes when they are clearly not comfortable with it is manipulative. Two reasons to not do it. You don't know this guy and you put yourself in a vulnerable position by doing so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZenL Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 pro tip: don't send private pics to people you haven't met before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted February 19, 2021 Share Posted February 19, 2021 23 hours ago, Maria999 said: I know for a fact that he likes me beyond my body. And he respects boundaries if i tell him no then he understands and stops asking. How do you know this when you've never spent any time together in person? You're not over-thinking here. You don't know this man the way you think you do, and it's not wise to make yourself vulnerable to internet strangers. It's not trust issues - it's common sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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