Louie1878 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 This is going to be long winded. I've been with a girl for 10 months and I’ll be completely honest we do bicker but we have a lot of good moments and memories and both love each other completely, well I know I do, and she says it’s the same. she broke up with me at Christmas saying it was the best thing for us both she was doing the right thing and she was really sorry that I was hurting but I would thank her in the long run, it was so hard to hear but she stuck firm all over Christmas, she never went more then 2 days without contacting me and on Xmas Eve asked if I was on tinder, I said yes which was complete honesty and she went mental saying I’d ruined her life, she hated me etc I was a bit shocked by it all but to be honest I shouldn’t have been on tinder I did it for a distraction, she said never to contact her again and blocked me on everything again, on the 27th December she contacted me about my old phone she has asking what do I want her to do with it, it seemed like contact for contacts sake, then the next message was I still love you and I was gobsmacked the conversation completely changed how she was devastated at losing me, she thought she was doing the right thing but realised she wasn’t, didn’t want to be without me, her life was miserable without me and she realised she lost the best thing to ever happen to her, I was off course delighted and gave her another chance, she said all the right things it carried on she kept saying she had been stubborn and her own stubbornness nearly lost the best thing to ever happen to her, she will never leave or lose me again etc we got on great for 3 weeks. Then one night we were having banter with each other and she completely took something out of context about her past and I knew where it was going, I promised her that’s not what I meant but she was adamant I did and left the house and went back to her own home, ever since then it’s been arguments galore we’ve both said stuff we shouldn’t have too each other, one night she sent me a song at 3am in the morning about not wanting to live without someone but the next day was saying there was no way back, I asked the other day is she talking to anyone new and she said yes and I’m free to do whatever I want, my heart sank and I did push at her she eventually in the end snapped and said she’s just on tinder for a distraction exactly the same as I was, she obviously kept getting at i was on it in the past and she’s right I suppose. I kept asking questions so she said she was going to the police for harassment, I don’t believe she has but I have to take it as face value, I believe she just said that to avoid questions she didn’t want to answer. An hour later she rang me off an unknown caller ID telling me why she was on tinder the same as I had in the past, then the next morning my friends all woke up to messages about me and her saying I’ve ruined her life and her life is in tatters and she hopes I’m the same. ive not spoken to her since Thursday, she contacted my friends on Friday, but I feel so lost and so confused, I feel like the girl I love has lost the plot, I’ve done all the worst things you can I’ve begged, Pleaded even when she asked for space because I couldn’t control my emotions at being told all these nice things for the relationship to be swept from under my feet again, even after breaking up with me again she says the same stuff over and over again, that I have no idea how this is effecting her, she loves me too much, loves me more than life itself, the problem I always feel is she vents when we argue instead of communicating with me she’ll run to friends and family and they suddenly all have an opinion. She came to see me after splitting up we talked things through she said well sort it and left, kissed me etc, then she said her mum and friends went mad saying she’s weak, she refuses to see me because she says when she sees me she wants to be with me, she said initially we probably would have been fine after a few days when it calmed down, and then another time she just needed a few days to digest everything that has gone on, have I pushed her away for good? will she come back? How’s best to deal with this, I worry about her but I have to take what she says as face value in regards to the police Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Mosse Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 This isn't love. She's unstable and manipulative. I would not respond to any texts or calls from this person. Let your friends or loved ones know that it's over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 14 minutes ago, Louie1878 said: I've been with a girl for 10 months and I’ll be completely honest we do bicker she said she was going to the police for harassment Sorry this happened. What was all the bickering about? Stay away from each other. You're just abusing each other. Block and delete her from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louie1878 Posted February 15, 2021 Author Share Posted February 15, 2021 Absolutely petty stuff like how I might not have been affectionate or arranging plans etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 5 minutes ago, Louie1878 said: Absolutely petty stuff like how I might not have been affectionate or arranging plans etc Ok, way too much drama for 40 weeks dating. Cut your losses and date decent girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 56 minutes ago, Louie1878 said: asked if I was on tinder, I said yes which was complete honesty and she went mental saying I’d ruined her life, she hated me etc I was a bit shocked by it all but to be honest I shouldn’t have been on tinder I did it for a distraction, - No, you did NOT ruin her life. - What YOU choose to do when you two split up, is YOUR choice. You do NOT owe her anything... After this break up, sadly you two were truly done.. ........................ "the conversation completely changed how she was devastated at losing me, she thought she was doing the right thing but realised she wasn’t, didn’t want to be without me, her life was miserable without me and she realised she lost the best thing to ever happen to her, " - You got along for a few 'weeks'. Sorry, this gal is a mess 😞 And is bringing YOU down with her, unless you just STOP! SHE is manipulating you- by turning it all on you... even why she is on Tinder.. (oh, because you did it). Laying guilt and threats- even though she had been contacting you as well! (even w/ unknown calls) Then to threaten you? Unreal! Stay away from this hot mess 😞 From how I see all of this, you did not cause her pains.. She ended things? That is where it should have remained. So, do not feel guilt over HER internal battle. Just stay away.. No more contact, nothing. You need time to process this.. and heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 Will she come back? - really? Ohh, you don't want this back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 This is not love, it's a sick addiction to drama. Don't mistake anxiety, fear and anger for love because that is not at all what love is about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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