Candynercka Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 My ex fiancé of 8 months cheated on me with his toxic ex than dumped me in October 2020. He got engaged to his ex in January 2021 and got married a few days ago. What I don’t understand is why now they were off and on again for 9 years why now get married when I was in the picture. He had 9 years to ask her to be his wife.Me and him were supposed to be married in December 22 2020. It’s like a slap in my face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibralta Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Oh god, that's awful. I have a feeling that those two are probably just drama addicts. The fact that he was with another woman (you) probably added fuel to their big drama fire. It pulled the rubber band back, so to speak, and catapulted them into a reactive marriage. It really sucks that you have to be the collateral damage in this situation. But it really has nothing to do with you. For your part... I think you rushed into this relationship and that made you more vulnerable than you otherwise might have been. Reading back through your posts, you were already engaged at 8 months. That's way too soon--not enough time to get to know someone. It's why you were totally blindsided when he started being nasty to you. It's why you didn't see what a toxic person he was, how he was using you as a way to play games with his ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 You were together only 8 mos while she was in rehab. They were off/on almost a decade, so your 8 mos of dating was just a brief snapshot in their crazy roller coaster world. They belong together. You dodged a bullet. You learned a lot about red flags. People in on/off, people addicted to addicts, wierdos who talk marriage after just 32 weeks dating. And the list goes on with this creep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambert Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: You were together only 8 mos while she was in rehab. They were off/on almost a decade, so your 8 mos of dating was just a brief snapshot in their crazy roller coaster world. They belong together. You dodged a bullet. You learned a lot about red flags. People in on/off, people addicted to addicts, wierdos who talk marriage after just 32 weeks dating. And the list goes on with this creep. This is certainly true. It is awful and very hurtful. Hurt people hurt people. he was a user. I dated a user. Its tough because your feelings are genuine and you have to deal with the aftermath. But this guy knew he was really still involved with the ex. He liked your love and attention. It helped him cope and then when it served him, he let you go. That is painful and having something similar in my own past, I can see how confusing and hurtful this is, as you try to make logical sense of things. Unfortunately, this guy is a garbage guy and you are not to blame. You do have responsibilities for yourself and have to forgive yourself for ignoring red flags that should have been deal breakers. Next time be more discerning in your choices. people just out of long term or on & off relationships are immediately red flags... they need to heal first. You tell these people to take care of themselves and maybe once they are healed emotionally, you will cross paths again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 How awful! I'm so sorry! Sadly, he never moved on from the ex. You were convenient, and a rebound. When you jump into a relationship with someone who has recently broken up, this happens as they did not process their feelings-he should not have been involved for several years before jumping into a relationship. In time, you will see how lucky you are that he is no longer in your life. He a real POS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 At what point of dating did you get engaged? You don't seem to respond to the questions from posters (previous threads), I hope you will this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 9 hours ago, Candynercka said: My ex fiancé of 8 months cheated on me with his toxic ex than dumped me in October 2020. He got engaged to his ex in January 2021 and got married a few days ago. Yeah... a real POS 😞 Sorry you had to get entangled in HIS crap... but let this be a learning experience... To go from an ex one was engaged to... onto someone new- get engaged to them? Is not right! Was all a rebound (using you).. and his emotions for her were flooding into your short relationship ( his feelings were not genuine)... And as always, rebounds end as fast as they began 😞 9 hours ago, Candynercka said: Me and him were supposed to be married in December 22 2020. It’s like a slap in my face. - Do YOU not find this really off? To be engaged within months.. then to be married within a year? Too Fast!? Especially if he was also engaged to his ex- of whom they split by sounds of it, not too long before he hooked up with you. I am sorry for the pains caused - He is a real POS. I agree with above responses - He was not over her and IF a couple is done... should take a good amt of time, on their own to work thru their emotions... accept.. heal BEFORE moving on. Neither had done any of this - they were not done. Do not get engaged to someone you really don't know. Getting to know someone for a while.. and see IF you are even compatible. Take care... things will improve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Mosse Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Sorry to hear this. Take them off any of your social media, refuse to look at anything having to do with this person. You do not need that in your life right now. Your brain needs a mental break from any constant feed of info about his or their lives together. None of that concerns you anymore so refuse to make it any of your concern or business no matter how tempting or difficult that is or how anxious you get wondering what they are up to. Spend a bit more time with yourself and rebuilding what you have, take care of your health, refocus and spend time with your friendships. Even though it was a short time I think you still have a bond with this person and it meant a lot to you. The work now has to do with you detaching and moving forwards, learn to let go and put this behind you. It starts off difficult and it becomes easier with time. It's not a perfect walk forwards and you'll stumble and feel like crap but you'll get through it. The trick is to believing with your whole heart that you deserve more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candynercka Posted February 5, 2021 Author Share Posted February 5, 2021 We got engaged in 7 month Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 3 hours ago, Candynercka said: We got engaged in 7 month Huge red flag 🚩 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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