Twolost Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 My boyfriend passed unexpectedly on 1/10/21. We have a very intense love that I have never experienced before and I'm struggling with his loss. We met in 2000 and were just teenagers back then so we only dated for a few months. Over the years we were always drawn back to each other mostly just as friends. He moved away in 2007 and I hadn't seen him at all. In 2016 he moved back and he sent me a friend request and I couldn't bring myself to accept it. I had always had some kind of love for hom and it scared me. In 2019 we lost his best friend who was one of my friends also. I reached out to him before the funeral and than saw him at the funeral and it was over from there. We started texting every day and then eventually hangout. My best friend said he had stars in his eyes when he looked at me and I felt the same way about him. We spent almost all our time together and if we weren't together we were talking or texting. He told me good morning every single day up until the day he left me. Im struggling with his loss. He was my best friend, my heart ans my rock and now I have lost all of those things. I have lost my future and I'm terrified. I have a hard time sleeping and eating. I'm cry a lot and I feel back because I feel like it makes people uncomfortable. The worst part is how lonely I feel with out him. I have been wearing his tshirts every day and am trying to find any way possible to feel close to him. It's worst thing I've ever been through in my life and I dont understand. I was given the best part of my life shown a love that most will never see in a lifetime and it was taken away from me. Im struggling so bad and don't know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 I am so very sorry for your loss. It is devastating to lose a piece of one’s heart and soul. Don’t expect a lot from yourself right now. It is ok not to know what to do. It is ok to grieve and it is ok to be lost. Reach out to family and friends . keep writing here if it helps. ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolost Posted January 19, 2021 Author Share Posted January 19, 2021 Seraphim I'm trying to talk to people. But they are busy with life and mine has just stopped. I have been spending as much time as I can with his family but I keep looking for him and its breaking what little I have left. I dont have the biggest support system which is making it harder because I feel alone and I've had to be alone. I'm struggling with the fact that everyone has their person to help them through this and hold them at night and tell them it will all be ok and Iost my person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greendots Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Twolost, wishing you peace and strength during this time. Please keep writing here if it helps as Seraphim suggested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 Is there anyway you can join any bereavement groups online? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolost Posted January 19, 2021 Author Share Posted January 19, 2021 I looked, it was very overwhelming. My head is all over the place. It's like my life was planned out and our future was in motion and then it's gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WalterSobcha Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 I'm so sorry to hear about your terrible loss. Do express yourself and keep writing about your feelings here if you feel like it. There is sadly nothing we can do, but we are thinking about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 33 minutes ago, Twolost said: I looked, it was very overwhelming. My head is all over the place. It's like my life was planned out and our future was in motion and then it's gone. It is very very early days and you are still in shock. You are going to be all over the map that is very natural. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibralta Posted January 19, 2021 Share Posted January 19, 2021 I'm so very sorry.... I can't even imagine how terrible. I know you are a mess, but I agree with others that you should seek out grief counselling and possibly even online forums. It's going to be very difficult for the people around you to give you the support that you need, not because they don't want to, but because they don't know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted January 20, 2021 Share Posted January 20, 2021 So sorry for your loss. Please look into grief counselling. I'm sure it will be of great benefit to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.