joe45 Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 whats your advice on 42 year old who has a gf for 9 years but his mom loves getting into his relationship affairs. mom wants a daughter in law who can cook clean like typical tradional chinese housewife and also hold a full time job. pretty much if comes into the family shes going give off a lot of value to us. she'll come visit me on my b day but mom would nick pick and say yea she bought the cake but when mom cuts the slice the g picks the biggest slice. mom sees that as greedy girl. mom doesnt like fact she comes to our house and doesnt help out in the kitchen and cook and clean while she watches. mom wants her to take the role the house wife since mom is getting old. but how about she came 30 min to my house and bought the cake and gave me a gift. most girls i met in my life didnt even give me a text of happy b day mind you that take only 30 secs. my co worker said most girls dont like guys who still lving at home and want get married and still live with their mom/ dad. got get your own place on your own terms and conditons . your at the mercy of nobody. lol if she was greedy she wouldnt be dating a guy that works retail and takes public transit yea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaHermes Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 Who are you, Joe or Nash? You have two different accounts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose Mosse Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 You can't really change her. All you can do is create healthier boundaries and move out if it's feasible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 Replies in your other thread: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe45 Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 21 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said: You can't really change her. All you can do is create healthier boundaries and move out if it's feasible. how do you create healhy boundaries Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 Why did you post under two different user names? Why are you getting your coworker involved? If you don't like interference into your relationship it seems strange to talk about it with a coworker. Unfortunately as long as you're in your mother's house you will have to hear her talk. She also has the right to determine who comes into her own house. You can ask her to stay out of it but it seems unlikely to be effective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted December 23, 2020 Share Posted December 23, 2020 Mother in law or mother or not, shouldn't matter. I hold a full time job and do the job of a house wife, just like most women...don't see the issue with that. Tell the old lady to be polite, she's not in charge of this household you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 23, 2020 Share Posted December 23, 2020 I think that it is rude of your gf not to help with the cooking and cleaning. I always help out when invited to friends for a meal. I also do all of the cleaning at my mom's home. This is just common courtesy. If you are Chinese I understand why you are still living with your folks, as it is a big part of the culture. If you want your mother off your back, then move out. Why haven't you married if you have been dating 9 years? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted December 23, 2020 Share Posted December 23, 2020 28 minutes ago, Hollyj said: Why haven't you married if you have been dating 9 years? My thoughts exactly. I also agree with the posters above, if you're still living at home, then your Mom has a right to say and do as she pleases in her own house. If you don't like it, you'll have to move out. Talking to coworkers about it is one of the worst things you can do. It's a bit of a betrayal to your mom and gf to be gossiping about them to people who have no business knowing anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe45 Posted December 25, 2020 Author Share Posted December 25, 2020 On 12/23/2020 at 2:43 PM, SherrySher said: My thoughts exactly. I also agree with the posters above, if you're still living at home, then your Mom has a right to say and do as she pleases in her own house. If you don't like it, you'll have to move out. Talking to coworkers about it is one of the worst things you can do. It's a bit of a betrayal to your mom and gf to be gossiping about them to people who have no business knowing anything. at end i wanted a different perspective and mindset. the co worker is someone im tight with and supportive. also seems smart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted December 25, 2020 Share Posted December 25, 2020 11 hours ago, joe45 said: the co worker is someone im tight with and supportive. also seems smart You should never talk to people about those closest to you. It's a bit of a betrayal to both your mom and gf and it's not their business. I mean, you can do what you like, but it's not in good taste and it isn't nice to be doing. Your co worker should be keeping their nose out of things and you shouldn't be bringing others into it by talking about your loved ones. Just my two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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