pirslana4 Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 A few days ago me and my 2 year boyfriend broke up. He was never drinking or smoking or going to parties and now he started doing it he hasn't been sober not even a minute in a whole week and 2-3 weeks ago when we were still together as well. I really hate the behaviour he has to me now he is so rude and he was the one in a relationship who was sure we will get married and start a family. He manipulates with me and posts stories and pictures on social media which he never did. Today he posted a photo of him, his two guy friends and two girl friends... he was having arm over one girl (when we were together he always used to say he hates them). I got extremely humiliated and I told him i never want to hear his name again. I dont know what to do. I want him back but also dont want him because of the fact he changed so bad and i will have to deal with his past again. what should i do?? Do you think he could change, because he was always the nicest person not just to me but to everyone and he suddenly changed when the problems started to show up. Im scared for him and I still love him but really afraid of him not changing to the way he was before and breaking my heart again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 12 minutes ago, pirslana4 said: He manipulates with me and posts stories and pictures on social media which he never did. I am sorry you're hurting, OP. But I don't quite see how he's manipulating you - can you clarify? It sounds like he realizes he can't be in a relationship while he's wanting to be partying hard and hanging out with other girls. You're watching it unfold online, unfortunately, but I don't interpret that as manipulation. He is single now, and this is often what single guys do. It would be best to delete him from your social media so that you don't have a front row seat here. It's understandable that it hurts to see. How old are you both, and when did you start noticing this change in him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clio Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Hi there. I am very sorry for the loss that you are experiencing. It sounds like he is choosing to distract himself from the break up by partying and going wild. Lots of people do that. You cannot control what he does. You can only control what you do. Following what he does on social media and trying to make sense of it is a huge mistake. It will not help you in any way. It will only keep you stuck in hurt. People do all kinds of random things that make no sense to their ex after a break up. The worst thing you can do after a break up is keep learning what your ex does, no matter whether it's directly or indirectly. That is why people recommend no contact. His actions are not really about you. He will do whatever soothes his ego and distracts him nomatter how random it might be. Analyzing it is a total waste of time that will only serve to drive you insane. Do yourself a big favour: delete and block him from all your social media + ask your friends to NOT mention him. It's your fastest way back to sanity and healing. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Are you sure he's changed? What I mean by that is, could he actually be a party type guy who likes his friends but changed in order to date? Perhaps it's his true personality coming back out and he's realized that he prefers to be that person and not in a serious relationship. If that's the case, he wasn't really himself while you and he dated and it's best to let him go. I know it won't be easy and I know you want him to be the person he seemed to be while you dated him. But if this is the lifestyle he wants to live right now, unfortunately there won't be anything you can do about it except to steer clear of him and try to get over him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Also, what if he doesn't want to change back? What indication has he given you that he wants to give up partying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 11 hours ago, pirslana4 said: he hasn't been sober not even a minute in a whole week and 2-3 weeks ago when we were still together as well. He manipulates with me and posts stories and pictures on social media Sorry this happened. How old is he? For 2 years he wasn't a party animal, then all of a sudden he was? You made the right decision ending things. It would be best to delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. The best way to move forward from is to reflect on this part of him,and that you will be better off without that nonsense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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