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Tom's Journal - Becoming the man I've always wanted to be


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On my 30 minute break, I planned out this weekends fell walk. It's going to be a big one, over 9 miles! I think I'm up to it, and it takes in 3 summits. The main summit that I'm excited about is this one, which has a childhood connection for me, as I use to gaze upon when I went fishing with Dad.

50642092017_1bd6cc0cb5_k.jpgIMG_1807 by Dales Boy, on Flickr

 

 

I was thinking earlier today about how my interest has dropped in 'C', and even though there is a part of me that wants to hear from her, my general vibe right now is that I'm not overly bothered about a relationship. I am really enjoying these hikes and getting out every weekend, plus the weight loss. I slightly worry that I'm just putting my emotional tendencies into my hobbies (in this case the walking). I know in the past I've obsessed over my hobbies to where they become the only thing that can make me happy, essentially moving my emotional dependency from a person, to a hobby.

 

I think this is different though....I'm not shutting myself a way, and the fact I tend to hike alone (well...with the dog) means it helps me to stay independent.

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When things get better regarding the pandemic you could join a hiking or photography club. You will meet people who are passionate about the same things you are. And LOTS of women are into those things!

 

Thanks bolt.

I think I've just found something I genuinely enjoy, and the health benefits that includes.

That's a point regarding a hiking club, although I have to admit I like the solitude of going on my own (or with just a friend). It feels a very personal experience.

 

Dare I say it, but right now I don't think I'd want to share it with a partner, it is nice having something special to me that can't be effected by the emotions of a relationship.

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Thanks bolt.

I think I've just found something I genuinely enjoy, and the health benefits that includes.

That's a point regarding a hiking club, although I have to admit I like the solitude of going on my own (or with just a friend). It feels a very personal experience.

 

Dare I say it, but right now I don't think I'd want to share it with a partner, it is nice having something special to me that can't be effected by the emotions of a relationship.

 

That is an interesting point of view. Do you fear that if you met someone who also enjoyed hiking and the relationship didn't work out, you would no longer enjoy hiking because you'd associate it with the end of the relationship?

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That is an interesting point of view. Do you fear that if you met someone who also enjoyed hiking and the relationship didn't work out, you would no longer enjoy hiking because you'd associate it with the end of the relationship?

 

Pretty much bolt. I've associated exs and activities in the past and for a time it completely destroyed those associated interests.

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When things get better regarding the pandemic you could join a hiking or photography club. You will meet people who are passionate about the same things you are. And LOTS of women are into those things!

 

I'd second this. I'm in a 20's and 30's hiking group myself and it's a great way to get to know people. In non-pandemic times, the events in our group will often have 40 or 50 people and it's usually close to a 50 / 50 split of male / female. It's good fun and there's normally a pint in a pub near the end. One of my old university friends is now married to someone he met through the group and there's a few others too.

 

And funnily enough, I actually thought the same as Tom before I first went - I thought "I don't know if I want to go hiking with a load of strangers and I do like the solitude". But it was nothing ventured, nothing gained. If I'd not enjoyed it, I needn't have gone again. Plus I could still (and do) go hiking by myself if my desire for solitude overrides my desire for socialising!

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Tom are you on twitter ?

 

I don't know how to load pics on here or I would show you mine ..so to speak :eek:

 

I am grateful to live by two lakes , but seeing your wonderful landscape has made me want to have a change for a bit ....I am all lake sunsets and silhouettes , not that I am complaining lol

 

I use to be, it was connected to one of my other hobbies and it frankly really got me down so I left. I really don't regret leaving.

 

However I am on Facebook, last week I set up a Facebook page to document my hiking, mental health and weight loss. Its gone down really well and currently have nearly 350 followers and a lot of support. It will be interesting to see where it goes.

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I use to be, it was connected to one of my other hobbies and it frankly really got me down so I left. I really don't regret leaving.

 

However I am on Facebook, last week I set up a Facebook page to document my hiking, mental health and weight loss. Its gone down really well and currently have nearly 350 followers and a lot of support. It will be interesting to see where it goes.

 

Oh fair enough .... I am glad though that you are getting support through your page , nice one .

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A really powerful and positive therapy session this evening. Looking into 'Cognitive Distortions', and how much rejection has played a negative part of my life, and how I myself (unintentionally) have sabotaged my own well being since my teens. So much to think about and be grateful and proud of. So many achievements over the years that I've neglected to appreciate.

 

Tomorrow Lass and I head out early on a long, and special fell walk, somewhere very dear to my heart, which may include three 'Wainwrights'

 

"The fleeting hours of those who love the hills are quickly spent, but the hills are eternal." - Alfred Wainwright

 

50649521543_dba19175a1_k.jpgDSC07733 (1) by Dales Boy, on Flickr

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That is very kind of you.

I'd always felt I was just an amateur and my photos really weren't good enough, but it maybe something worth looking into. I have to admit I'm rather pleased with these latest ones.

 

50640632831_1e7f4a94a5_k.jpgDSC07765 (2) by Dales Boy, on Flickr

 

You really should... you can charge quite a bit for the larger prints because it's your actual photography! You may want to look into advertising on your Facebook group if you're interested in selling them. People generally love landscapes. You could start with $50 for an 8x10 and go up the price range to $100, $200, $300. They'd make great gifts in my opinion.

 

I'm not familiar with how hard it is to get them flattened onto a poster board like material, but I know there's a machine that can do that (I've had it done to a couple of Monet prints I've bought and it's very cheap).

 

And again, since it's your photography, you can charge a lot more than just commercial prints of famous paintings (I've found one gorgeous one for just $25 but that's because it's commercial). But for an original photographer print of a landscape, I'd pay $200-300 for a large 16x20 or 20x30.

 

I like spoiling my husband :D and these pics would make him happy hanging in our home!

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Very tired after a superb day! A total of 8 miles, and two Wainwright summits completed.

 

It is probably fair to say, I took the more challenging route up the front of 'Crag Fell', but in doing so I feel a greater sense of achievement.

The latter half of the walk wasn't probably as exciting as the first half, perhaps some better planning on my part. Crag Fell I have gazed upon since childhood holidays, and today I reached the summit....with my best friend! x

 

50653923916_b3d83f897a_k.jpgDSC07834 by Dales Boy, on Flickr

 

50653925116_c2395fd91f_k.jpgDSC07835 (2) by Dales Boy, on Flickr

 

50654027302_6dc7251f8f_k.jpgIMG_2254 by Dales Boy, on Flickr

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I've been a bit quiet for a few days.

 

I'd planned a good walk this weekend, but with the weather turning a bit wintery, I've had to change my plans. I realise I had been obsessing a bit about these walks, as I've felt like rubbish this evening with the prospect of not doing the type of walk I wanted.

 

It shows again old habits surfacing, how I am focusing my happiness to one aspect of my life? I do wish someone could explain how my brain works!

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Is it talking about it that's ruining the spontaneity of it? I get like that sometimes.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with being disappointed you didn't get to do something. Till next time, right?

 

Thanks Rose

 

I think because these are proper mountain walks I love properly planning my routes, so I have an idea what to expect and also know how many miles I’m going to do.

 

The plan is to do a smaller hill but still a good ascent plus combining by walking around one of the lakes. Plus I can photograph from safety the snow on the mountain tops.

 

Someone has recommended for every walk planned , have a back up so you aren’t disappointed.

 

In other news I’m 4 pound off a total weight loss of 4 stone since August! Still so much for me to be positive about!

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Thanks Rose

 

I think because these are proper mountain walks I love properly planning my routes, so I have an idea what to expect and also know how many miles I’m going to do.

 

The plan is to do a smaller hill but still a good ascent plus combining by walking around one of the lakes. Plus I can photograph from safety the snow on the mountain tops.

 

Someone has recommended for every walk planned , have a back up so you aren’t disappointed.

 

In other news I’m 4 pound off a total weight loss of 4 stone since August! Still so much for me to be positive about!

 

Wow. Great news! That's awesome.

 

Good plan too to have a back up. My take on it is that everyone deserves something they can be passionate about. It's away from work or other commitments, sort of a personal thing that becomes an accomplishment over time. It's a cache of joy and brings confidence too, I think. Whether you want to share it with others in a group or one on one is up to you. Adds a new dimension though, not always bad!

 

My thing for years was kayaking. I got to see things most people don't from a small water craft. I admired the landscape that way and the way trees grew on the sides of cliffs not viewable on land. I also learned respect for the water and all about patience and balance. There's a lot that can go wrong. Kept me in check and thirsty for adventure.

 

Good stuff and yes do stay safe. Sounds fun out there.

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Wow. Great news! That's awesome.

 

Good plan too to have a back up. My take on it is that everyone deserves something they can be passionate about. It's away from work or other commitments, sort of a personal thing that becomes an accomplishment over time. It's a cache of joy and brings confidence too, I think. Whether you want to share it with others in a group or one on one is up to you. Adds a new dimension though, not always bad!

 

My thing for years was kayaking. I got to see things most people don't from a small water craft. I admired the landscape that way and the way trees grew on the sides of cliffs not viewable on land. I also learned respect for the water and all about patience and balance. There's a lot that can go wrong. Kept me in check and thirsty for adventure.

 

Good stuff and yes do stay safe. Sounds fun out there.

 

Sounds like we get a similar experience from these outdoor activities. I'm really learning to respect the mountain, and I'm ordering some outdoor survival gear, just in case of emergencies.

 

I went a bit OTT on research books (the Hobbit was just incase I had more time....not research!) 😂

50672842526_1acfe28d73_k.jpg129605930_124059869522642_2846947553551342902_o by Dales Boy, on Flickr

 

Saturday morning's walk looks to be about 6 miles long, with a 1986ft ascent....so enough to get the muscles working. Best of all though, with the morning sun rising in the east, I should get some nice photographs of the sun hitting the western and northern mountains......as long as the sun does shine!

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Oh it's great fun reading about the surrounding areas. I have similar on my nightstand - mostly about the history of BC, random knowledge about towns and old blueprints and photographs, sociology and geology. Also a Tolkien fan, before the movies came out. I read the books. What worlds he created. Have fun on Saturday!

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Also a Tolkien fan, before the movies came out. I read the books. What worlds he created.

 

Read Fellowship years ago and sadly gave up on Two Towers. Decided to start over, with the Hobbit after watching the 3rd Hobbit film.....hard to believe it’s the same director as the LotR trilogy....not good!

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Read Fellowship years ago and sadly gave up on Two Towers. Decided to start over, with the Hobbit after watching the 3rd Hobbit film.....hard to believe it’s the same director as the LotR trilogy....not good!

 

I haven't seen the Hobbit film but I read the book. Is it that bad? I must check it out.

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