Jibralta Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 A very interesting article. https://www.healthline.com/health/emotional-dependency#effects I'd presumed codependency and emotional dependency were one and the same. I think I possibly fall more into the emotional dependent category but obviously the two are very much related. Have you ever heard of this one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibralta Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Your house looks very cozy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 Have you ever heard of this one? I haven't seen that one, I'll have a watch now I'm home. Your house looks very cozy! Thank you! Yes it does feel like that, had a bit of a Disney fest last night watching the original 'Little Mermaid', probably not the best for the emotionally dependent like me, but I enjoyed it! With a lovely roaring fire it was rather cosy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 Lass and I just got home from our little Birthday outing to the Lake District. We went to one of my favourite places, which I've not been able to face visiting for nearly 3 years. Last visit was 26th December 2017, days before I was dumped. To get there I had to drive through the area my ex lived...... drove right through today, thought back to the past, but that emotional attachment has been finally severed. I sadly didn't get many photos due to the weather changing, other than the centre of Keswick. Lass got a bit of attention walking around (quite rightly so). IMG_1670 (1) by Dales Boy, on Flickr I decided to pick a birthday cake up, might as well and today I'm fully indulging in naughty food. As it's Lass's Birthday on the 30th, we decided to make it a joint one....a candle for her, and a candle for me. IMG_1671 by Dales Boy, on Flickr IMG_1674 by Dales Boy, on Flickr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Oh my goodness that last photo of Lass sitting on a chair and looking at the cake is absolute perfection. Looks like something out of a painting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 Oh my goodness that last photo of Lass sitting on a chair and looking at the cake is absolute perfection. Looks like something out of a painting. The timing was pretty good for that photo! Eaten far too much, but it’s been a nice day overall! The new TV corner unit arrived so I put that together this afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Happy Birthday, Tom! Sounds like it was a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibralta Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 The timing was pretty good for that photo! Those Border Collies--they're too darned smart! Lass probably told you where to take the shot and planned out those poses herself lol. Happy Birthday (again)! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maritalbliss86 Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 So sweet, hope you and Lass had/have wonderful birthdays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 Happy belated, hope it was a good day! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 28, 2020 Author Share Posted October 28, 2020 Those Border Collies--they're too darned smart! Lass probably told you where to take the shot and planned out those poses herself lol. Happy Birthday (again)! So sweet, hope you and Lass had/have wonderful birthdays. Happy belated, hope it was a good day! :) Haha, thanks guys! Yes it was with all being considered. If the weather had been better we would have stayed longer in the Lake District, but I do plan to go back over there before Christmas. Keswick at Christmas is just magical (not my photo). Merry Christmas from Keswick by Colin Morgan, on Flickr It's been a favourite part of the world for me since childhood, its a shame the last relationship with 'L' three years ago made it hard to face going, its strange how the mind works. I had planned to take her there Christmas 2017 but she had begun to become distant and it never happened. Anyhow, we'll be back again soon. Early Winter Morning from Catbells by Nick Landells, on Flickr In other good news, after eating a fair amount of unhealthy food, I'm only a pound heavier this morning! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 28, 2020 Author Share Posted October 28, 2020 I've had a really productive day. A friend came over and we've cleared out so many DVD's books which has freed up a lot of space. The new TV unit sits nicely in the corner of the dining room, freeing up more space and again makes it feel more like my house. I think Lass likes it! IMG_1679 by Dales Boy, on Flickr I also have a smart, tidy bedroom. Not that I suspect I'll be inviting anyone in for the near future, but it is good to know when that time does arise.....it looks decent and not embarrassing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibralta Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 I like that carpet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 29, 2020 Author Share Posted October 29, 2020 I like that carpet! Ha thanks, yes so do I. My new amazon fire stick arrives today, so it will mean I can spend more time in this room. It's quicker to heat than the larger room (although the other room is my favourite). Today's plan until lunchtime is some of my client based 'hobby' work. I've not done as much as I should have over the past month or so, mainly as I've lost interest in it as my own hobby. However this is money, and I've lots waiting to be done so I'll make a start on that shortly. I'm a pound up in weight since my birthday, trying not to get hung up on it. My mind has been thinking about 'C' a bit over the past day or so. I've not heard from her since I text her back last Friday, but to be honest I wasn't expecting to. We have only met each other once, and she would at least like to see me again in a social sense. I really don't want to reach out over the holiday as I feel it is only going to look needy, and she isn't the quickest at responding over text/email. We start back teaching on Monday, but as we are in on different days I wont see her in person. I was thinking of waiting until the end of next week (around 6th November) to ask her if she'd like to do anything (unless she gets in touch of course). I don't want to hound her, and I'm very much trying to avoid previous mistakes and keep everything in perspective. Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibralta Posted October 29, 2020 Share Posted October 29, 2020 Thoughts? I think you should (somewhat forcefully) put that away and focus on other things. You will definitely lose perspective if you continue to loop back to C. Remember, you're ruminating over her because you have a habit of unbalancing yourself, and not because she's a great girl or anything like that. You're not missing out on anything. There's no secret combination to unlock. You're not doing anything wrong. Doing your hobby work is a drag, I get it. You may actually be reverting to rumination as an escape from the boredom of doing a job you don't want to do. Be careful of that. Sometimes when I have to do a job that I don't want to do (which is often lol!), I have a trick I play on myself with time that makes it a little more tolerable.... but I can't remember how it goes right now, lol! I'll try to remember it today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 29, 2020 Author Share Posted October 29, 2020 I think you should (somewhat forcefully) put that away and focus on other things. You will definitely lose perspective if you continue to loop back to C. Remember, you're ruminating over her because you have a habit of unbalancing yourself, and not because she's a great girl or anything like that. You're not missing out on anything. There's no secret combination to unlock. You're not doing anything wrong. Doing your hobby work is a drag, I get it. You may actually be reverting to rumination as an escape from the boredom of doing a job you don't want to do. Be careful of that. Sometimes when I have to do a job that I don't want to do (which is often lol!), I have a trick I play on myself with time that makes it a little more tolerable.... but I can't remember how it goes right now, lol! I'll try to remember it today... Thanks Jibralta I was more thinking about the whole contacting her end of next week regarding 'thoughts'.....but perhaps you have raised the more important issue that needed to be said about putting things aside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 29, 2020 Author Share Posted October 29, 2020 I managed to get my work done this morning, and I'm just enjoying an hour or so before I'm doing some online teaching. Amazon fire stick arrived, the fire is lit.... feeling cosy! Untitled by Dales Boy, on Flickr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 30, 2020 Author Share Posted October 30, 2020 We have had the most amazing day!! It was Lass's birthday, and with the weather forecast fairly decent, we headed back to the Lake District, and revisited my most favourite place in the world! Ennerdale in the Western Lakes, where I had many a happy childhood holiday. Untitled by Dales Boy, on Flickr Untitled by Dales Boy, on Flickr Untitled by Dales Boy, on Flickr Untitled by Dales Boy, on Flickr Honestly can't remember the last time I've had such a great day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibralta Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 Gorgeous!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 31, 2020 Author Share Posted October 31, 2020 Gorgeous!! It really was, and although I'm lucky where I do live, I so wish I was back there right now. It was good I decided to go, as it is looking very likely that England is going into a four week lock down. Schools look to be staying open which is good (I'd prefer to be in teaching, than zooming from home). Of course my thoughts turned to meeting up with 'C' and how unlikely it could be in the current circumstances on a social level. However, if the lockdown is to be lifted after four weeks, I will offer for us to do something in December. Could be quite nice to do something near Christmas. I'm not messaging yet, wait until we know for sure what is happening with the lockdown etc (as nothing is official). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted October 31, 2020 Author Share Posted October 31, 2020 Currently sat by the TV waiting for the Prime Minister to make his lockdown announcement..... was supposed to be at 17.00, now looks to be 18.30. Treated myself to a chippy dinner. Felt like a treat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaHermes Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 What absolutely beautiful photos, DB. An extraordinary place indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 I know you are trying to lose weight but it seems like you use food as a reward. Can you try to use something else as a reward? How about buying new (smaller) clothing or an electronic device you've been wanting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Gone Posted November 1, 2020 Author Share Posted November 1, 2020 I know you are trying to lose weight but it seems like you use food as a reward. Can you try to use something else as a reward? How about buying new (smaller) clothing or an electronic device you've been wanting? It’s a fair point. Since I’ve started my injections I don’t look at food with the same emotional connection though. I’m going to need some new jeans though! My oldest hoody is too big (which back in August was the only one that fit me) and has now been resigned to the charity shop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 It’s a fair point. Since I’ve started my injections I don’t look at food with the same emotional connection though. I’m going to need some new jeans though! My oldest hoody is too big (which back in August was the only one that fit me) and has now been resigned to the charity shop. I only brought it up because several times you've written that you "treated" yourself to a high calorie food as a reward. So it seems you still view food that way, not as something you need to survive but something that makes you feel good. I love food too, but I learned (when I was heavier) that I had to view it as a means of survival rather than a prize for good behavior. And to only eat when I'm hungry, not as a form of entertainment when I'm bored or just because there's something good in the fridge or pantry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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