How can i get past the "just friends" barrier

[Warhawk]

Ive been friends with this girl for almost a year. About six months ago i told her how i felt, and basically she told me she just saw me as a friend. Well ever since then we always hang out together still. We go to movies and a lot of big events together, go to lunch every week, ive even been to church with her twice. Her and her bf recently broke up about 1.5-2 months ago. Is there any way i can get past the barrier of not just being her friend? Or have i blown it already.

[Mr. Cactus]

No, I don't think you have blown it as such, but I also don't really think there is much you can do to get past the friendship barrier. The thing is, I am of the opinion that a person can't really do anything much to change another person's opinion of them in a romantic sense. They are either going to be attracted to you that way or they won't be. I really don't think there is much you personally can do that you have not already done. I feel that any change needs to come from within her mind only. And it well might. All you can do is try to be your usual self around her. After all, if she ever does decide she is attracted to you in romantic sense, then there is no long term point projecting a false image of yourself just to try and win her over. So I just say go with the flow and be your true self around her. Try to enjoy what you have now, but if you can't handle it, then you might like to think about moving on. Then again, she might change, but you have to decide if you are prepared to wait and see. Life is short, so if you have romantic inclinations, you may want to think about pursuing prospects elsewhere.

[heloladies21]

You've definitely turned into her girlfriend! Being friends with her will never get her to see you in a romantic light. Let her know that you don't just see her as a friend and being friends with her is just too hard and stop being her friend. Spend all the time you spend with her on hitting on other chicks. If she's smart enough and realizes what a great boyfriend you'd be, she'll let you know and try to chase you. It's a long shot, but it's the only chance you have at this point.

 

And you didn't blow anything. She blew it by not accepting your advances. That's how you have to see it for confidence reasons.

[tiger_lilies]

My opinon is that if you can somehow change the light she sees you in, then you have a better chance than anyone at gaining her trust! Why? Because you are already closer to her than any stranger she might meet. You have the upper hand.

 

It's also only been 1.5 months since her break up. If she's going through all the downer emotions that everyone goes through, then I'm willing to bet that she just needs her time to heal from that. How long it will take depends entirely on her.

 

I suggest that you continue being that good friend of support and move in! I mean it in a nice way. Make sure you have lots of quality time with her where it's just the two of you...alone. Go on dates! Have fun! Summer's just around the corner (for me) and this is a great time to do so many outdoor things.

 

Also, I'd like to suggest that you start flirting with her. Touch her in respectable places such as the small of her back or shoulder. This should send some signals. Hope this helps! Good Luck!

[kungfumaster]

6 months ago, when you expressed your feelings to her, was she still with her boyfriend?

 

If she was still with her boyfriend then, than that's not cool man. I'm not saying you had anything to do with the break up, but its just not a cool thing to do, IMO.

 

I don't think you can do anything directly to change a girl's opinion of you as just a friend. You just have to move on man - put your time and energy into something more promising.

[providentielle]

Please do not follow heloladies advice, that is a way to ensure she wont go out with you and lose her as a friend! She knows how you feel and now she is single so just give her time, if she wants to take things further you will know about it. There is a little thing you could try though. If you are sitting accross a table from her then spend a few minutes playing with something, like holding the salt shaker and "fidgeting" with it. Then sit it down close to her. If she picks it up then that is a very good sign, if she leaves it where it is then she is accepting of you at the very least and if she pushes it away then she doesnt feel for you in the way you want her to. Good luck