LaHermes Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Agree Batya. Informally meeting someone or being informally introduced to someone. Happens every day in one context or another. Not being in the marriage brokerage business (a lucrative business I hear lol), I wouldn't have the time or energy to orchestrate. If someone were to meet someone at our house, well, after that it would be up to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Agree Batya. Informally meeting someone or being informally introduced to someone. Happens every day in one context or another. Not being in the marriage brokerage business (a lucrative business I hear lol), I wouldn't have the time or energy to orchestrate. If someone were to meet someone at our house, well, after that it would be up to them. Not wanting to derail. I was much more proactive as were people who set me up. I was in touch with a professional matchmaker but never used one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 I've never tried to orchestrate anyone. Of course fix ups are not for everyone. Just trying to keep this about the OP and on topic. It's not helpful for him to blame anyone else for fix-ups that don't materialize. That's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Precisely, CatF. "It just makes no sense to view oneself as ripped off if a friend offers a fix up and fails. " Blaming one's "friends" (and there is a vast difference between casual acquaintances and long-time friends) makes no sense at all. We do have single friends, and see them as and when. That's no big deal. They are busy people, some have a BF/GF, some just dating, one is engaged (met his future wife at a friend's wedding). Agree. The only person responsible when one's personal life isn't satisfactory is one's Self. It's not about 'blame,' it's about action--and nobody else can take that on FOR another adult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 Just trying to keep this about the OP and on topic. It's not helpful for him to blame anyone else for fix-ups that don't materialize. That's all. Sure. Of course. I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoobunnie Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 OP, how often do you ask to hang out with these people directly? I found that as a couple, I'd still invite everyone out. But once I had kids, I wasn't the leader inviting everyone out, and no one was inviting me out. And it was sad. But I got back on the horse, and made some great mom friends. And my hubs became friends with their hubs. My dad always says you are the most luckiest person in the world if you have one true friend. And by that I mean, friends do come and go, whether from having new problems, prioritizing their own family. But I guarantee, if you invited them out with their ladies, threw a party, they are more than happy to party with you. But you have to make some effort - can't always be one sided. And if it is always you inviting them out, then time to make new friends, and don't take it personally. Everyone is always going through some level of poop, and processing things and new elements and new friends happen. Doesn't mean they don't love and care for you - people sometimes drift apart. I have friends from HS, College, friends because our kids are friends, friends because our kids go to the same school, friends from groups, friends from associations, appendage friends - nothing will always stay the same. So as sucky as it can be, you gotta put yourself out there for friendships and romance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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