ThatwasThen Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 Yea, I thought about that too actually. I'm gonna give myself 2 weeks and see how I feel. If I see that I'm still gonna have a hard time than that's when I'll consider going to group therapy. For some people I dont know about you. When you think you meet the one when you know you know. The moment we met and saw each other I knew he was the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. He was falling for me too. He told me himself. He was my soulmate and the love of my life. Talking about having kids together and making future plans together and having that taken away from you. Have you ever been in love ? And that love being taken away from you how would it make you feel when someone you love is making plans to have a future with you ? How many times were you actually in his company in those three months you say you were together? Words without actions are just words. Please do yourself a favor and don't put so much stock in just words. Again... how much actually time in each others company were you together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolgirl Posted March 22, 2020 Author Share Posted March 22, 2020 Yea, I know. The thing is I'm already struggling financially at the moment. And the insurance I have is limited to the therapy there is. Right now I cant afford expensive therapy sessions. If you know of any websites where they have affordable therapist I'll be open to that option. QUOTE=ThatwasThen;7206817]Coolgirl... please look into getting yourself into therapy. You have a lot of past stuff you haven't come to terms with and packed away. Once you have dealt with your past trauma(s) I think you will be in a much better place. There are even online therapist that you can talk to virtually that will help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolgirl Posted March 22, 2020 Author Share Posted March 22, 2020 We both had hectic schedules so we managed to see each other on regular basis. I cant say how many times but when ever we had the chance we would get together often. QUOTE=ThatwasThen;7206824]How many times were you actually in his company in those three months you say you were together? Words without actions are just words. Please do yourself a favor and don't put so much stock in just words. Again... how much actually time in each others company were you together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 We both had hectic schedules so we managed to see each other on regular basis. I cant say how many times but when ever we had the chance we would get together often. Again... how much actual time in each others company were you together?]How many times is "often" if you both had busy schedules? You are basing your "I want to go with him" on the lust and infatuation and if you didn't have underlying baggage that you haven't dealt with, you would be able to process this in a healthier manner. What do you think about getting yourself the professional help that will hopefully get you past this in a more rational manner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 If you dated him for three months no way he was the love of your life. You didn't know him long enough to know it that would eventually be true. Since you dated him for 3 months, you were not in the loop about his health care or other situations. If you dated for years, and broke up recently, I get it -- but i think you are not really completely mourning him - you are mourning the fact of a potential chance or feeling cheated out of not ending on your terms. I am sorry that this happened, but you will find someone else. If you date thinking he was the love of your life, no man ever stands a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolgirl Posted March 22, 2020 Author Share Posted March 22, 2020 Actually I knew everything about him. His health conditions, his living situation, his pasts relationships, his family's life. His life His everything. He told me everything. You know what. I dont need this. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. All I know what's in my heart and If no one I mean no one can tell me otherwise. How to feel and what to feel. I dont need to be defending myself as to what my relationship was to him. So please if there is any Administrator on this site please shut down this post. I cant deal with this either. QUOTE=abitbroken;7206830]If you dated him for three months no way he was the love of your life. You didn't know him long enough to know it that would eventually be true. Since you dated him for 3 months, you were not in the loop about his health care or other situations. If you dated for years, and broke up recently, I get it -- but i think you are not really completely mourning him - you are mourning the fact of a potential chance or feeling cheated out of not ending on your terms. I am sorry that this happened, but you will find someone else. If you date thinking he was the love of your life, no man ever stands a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 You are entitled to your feelings, no one is disputing that but why would you want to continue to swim in that pain? That to me is what needs to be addressed which is giving you guidance on how to get past your olympic swim in despair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 You are entitled to your feelings, no one is disputing that but why would you want to continue to swim in that pain? That to me is what needs to be addressed which is giving you guidance on how to get past your olympic swim in despair. Exactly. To feed your nearly suicidal thoughts over a guy that you did break up with is very dangerous. You broke up with him. You spoke of another guy you were going to meet the same day you found out about your exes death so you either had an incredibly open relationship or you were broken up. You stated you suffer from bipolar disorder and you also stated you have never had a good relationship, I think all that combined with what’s going on globally is really doing a number on your mental psyche right now. Please see someone. I’m not saying this with malice or judgement, I have my demons too, what I am saying is you were not with this man. Period. That is why you found out how you did. Please see someone to help you unpack everything you’re going through. I wish you luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 Yea, I know. The thing is I'm already struggling financially at the moment. And the insurance I have is limited to the therapy there is. Right now I cant afford expensive therapy sessions. If you know of any websites where they have affordable therapist I'll be open to that option. Google it and go from there. If you don't like one, try another. Just do not lock yourself into a minimum number of sessions. If they require you to book several with your credit card then pass those up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 Google it and go from there. If you don't like one, try another. Just do not lock yourself into a minimum number of sessions. If they require you to book several with your credit card then pass those up. There's also text therapy. Right now that could be a great way to do. You can find one who specializes in grief and loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LootieTootie Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Sorry for your loss, OP. Grieving is tough and I hope you get through it. Have you any friends or family to talk to? I would strongly suggest you come back to this thread and read your posts again with a clearer head. Maybe a couple of weeks or months and just do some self-reflection. This second thread you posted about a man who you were on and off with in a span of 3 months but is the "love of your life" is a tell-tale sign that this has a lot to do with your inner issues than your boyfriend/someone's mortality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Actually I knew everything about him. His health conditions, his living situation, his pasts relationships, his family's life. His life His everything. He told me everything. You know what. I dont need this. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. All I know what's in my heart and If no one I mean no one can tell me otherwise. How to feel and what to feel. I dont need to be defending myself as to what my relationship was to him. So please if there is any Administrator on this site please shut down this post. I cant deal with this either. QUOTE=abitbroken;7206830]If you dated him for three months no way he was the love of your life. You didn't know him long enough to know it that would eventually be true. Since you dated him for 3 months, you were not in the loop about his health care or other situations. If you dated for years, and broke up recently, I get it -- but i think you are not really completely mourning him - you are mourning the fact of a potential chance or feeling cheated out of not ending on your terms. I am sorry that this happened, but you will find someone else. If you date thinking he was the love of your life, no man ever stands a chance. He may have told you what his health situation was, but you were not a decision maker, someone who he designated to be in the loop with doctors, involved in his appointments. You were someone he dated for 3 months - his family were the people who were directly hands on. You were not someone who the hospital would notify. That's what i meant. Please see this for what it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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