Overthemoon7 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 So long story short I caught my boyfriend using a dildo in bed while he thought I was asleep. I honestly was so shocked I just laid there pretending to be asleep. He wasn't using it for penetration either...he was deep throating it? Now. I must say. After 7 years of being together and me being super sexual and always trying to get him to open up...let me tell you this was a HUGE TURN ON FOR ME. But I don't know what to do now. I can't bring it up...I feel like he would be beyond embarrassed... he's super sensitive. But how am I supposed to live with a secret like this?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeptic76 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Why keep it a secret? Because he will be embarrassed at first? Wait until he’s super turned on and then tell him how hot it got you - I bet he’ll be relieved and super into it after any initial embarrassment. If he was doing it in bed with you he definitely wasn’t 100% committed to keeping it a secret; do you think part of him wanted you to catch him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overthemoon7 Posted November 23, 2019 Author Share Posted November 23, 2019 I just feel like he would be so worried what I think regardless of how I actually feel. Honestly part of what made it so hot was the fact that he didn't know I knew. But he's pretty vanilla sex wise so if he's got other stuff going on I definitely want to indulge with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Unfortunately, you don't know much about him after 7 years.So long story short I caught my boyfriend using a dildo in bed while he thought I was asleep. He wasn't using it for penetration either...he was deep throating it? After 7 years of being together and me being super sexual and always trying to get him to open up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overthemoon7 Posted November 23, 2019 Author Share Posted November 23, 2019 Yeah I guess not. I wish I did. We probably wouldn't have fought so much about sex over the years. Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 What were the fights about? It seems you're not sexually compatible. How much do you know about him? Apparently his sex life doesn't really include you.We probably wouldn't have fought so much about sex over the years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billie28 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Yeah I guess not. I wish I did. We probably wouldn't have fought so much about sex over the years. Lol A fantasy can only remain a fantasy as long as it’s kept that way. Bring it to reality it often doesn’t live up to the fantasy and then there is nothing to fantasise about. You now have a new found fantasy, a naughty secret. Enjoy it , don’t ruin it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overthemoon7 Posted November 23, 2019 Author Share Posted November 23, 2019 I really agree with this notion. My inner overactive girlfriend wants to call him out. The sexual side wants to continue to spy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overthemoon7 Posted November 23, 2019 Author Share Posted November 23, 2019 The fights were over frequency and expectations of sex. But I realized we just have very different sex drives. He's lazy. I can't finish from penetration and it stresses me out when he tries for too long when I'd rather just do it myself and just enjoy the process. It's both of our fault. So we do what we can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 🦄👇🤔Is it possible you dreamt this or he was eating a hotdog?🌭 Is this an open relationship? Or just each of you masturbating on your own in your own worlds? He seems to be more interested in sex without you than sex with you. He doesn't sound lazy, he sounds uninterested because of whatever extracurricular activities he's engaged in. How old is he? The fights were over frequency and expectations of sex. He's lazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overthemoon7 Posted November 23, 2019 Author Share Posted November 23, 2019 If I was dreaming then it was a pretty realistic dream. Lmao. He's 30 and I'm 31. We do have sex. He's pretty quick to finish and over the years that combined with some pretty serious self consciousness on his part he just assumes he's disappointing me every time. I've tried to reassure him that just having sex no matter how long or the end result is enough for me. I know he's not participating in any real life stuff without me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 My assumption is that he wanted you to see this. I can't fathom what person in their right mind would randomly deep-throat their partner's vibrator in bed right beside her if he never intended her to find out. If this indeed an accurate account of events, this was his indirect way of opening the discussion on trying something...new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Maybe he's starting to come out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overthemoon7 Posted November 23, 2019 Author Share Posted November 23, 2019 The best part is it wasn't my toy. I don't know why he wouldn't just bring it up. I'm not shy and he knows I'm down for whatever. :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 *sitting her wondering how a man deep throating an inanimate object would be a turn on (for him) unless he was bi or, like Linda Lovelace, has a clitoris half way down his throat* OP: If it turned you on then why let him know you know? Keep it at the voyeur level is my suggestion. Either that or actually let him know you are awake and ask him if you can help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeptic76 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 My assumption is that he wanted you to see this. I can't fathom what person in their right mind would randomly deep-throat their partner's vibrator in bed right beside her if he never intended her to find out. If this indeed an accurate account of events, this was his indirect way of opening the discussion on trying something...new. Bingo. Agree 💯 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Deleted . . . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Maybe he's starting to come out.That's where my mind went. It might explain his inhibitions in the bedroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overthemoon7 Posted November 24, 2019 Author Share Posted November 24, 2019 Sometimes I would wonder but I've seen the porn he watches in private and it's all girls. And I find sucking to be super hot. Sometimes that's how I get off. But I can see how maybe being a straight male doing it would be strange. I thoroughly enjoy the voyeurism part of it absolutely! But it makes me wonder what else I'm missing out on that I haven't caught him doing. Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah33 Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 I think it's a bigger problem if after 7 years together you can't bring it up to him out in the open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 I think it's a bigger problem if after 7 years together you can't bring it up to him out in the open. I had a similar thought. Don't know much about your relationship...but maybe it's an opportunity. No one can really know for sure. What's your gut say? Sexuality is a massive spectrum. We all slide along it in our own ways. Can't label a person for one preference or another. You'll never know what he was up to if you don't ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Snyder Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 I'm no Dr. Ruth but this sounds like a good problem to have! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billie28 Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 *sitting her wondering how a man deep throating an inanimate object would be a turn on (for him) unless he was bi or, like Linda Lovelace, has a clitoris half way down his throat* OP: If it turned you on then why let him know you know? Keep it at the voyeur level is my suggestion. Either that or actually let him know you are awake and ask him if you can help. He might have a fantasy of wondering what it’s like to be a submissive female. My point being that people have fantasies of all sorts of things but in reality would never realise them. I don’t think his actions alone suggest he is gay or bi. He might even be imagining what it’s like when he deep throats a girl. Perhaps he’s never had a girl to allow him do that and wondering why? At this point the op got off on it. It’s up to her whether she wants to discuss with him or not. But she needs to be ready for his response no matter what that might be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overthemoon7 Posted November 25, 2019 Author Share Posted November 25, 2019 Well. I decided I wouldn't bring it up and try another night to see what the hell was going on. I don't use my sex toys often. But I've has this glow in the dark glass dildo in a drawer somewhere for god knows how long. Tonight I'm not so sure I'm not crazy because I was pretending to be asleep (I even snored a bit for dramatic effect lol) AND TELL ME WHY I SAW SOMETHING GLOWING IN THE DARK. BUT THIS TIME IT WASN'T BY HIS FACE. I don't even know what to ing do. What if he denies it? Can I really just lay here at night (regardless of getting off or not) and NOT say anything? It's just too ing insane NOT to mention. I'm at a complete loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah33 Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 Well. I decided I wouldn't bring it up and try another night to see what the hell was going on. I don't use my sex toys often. But I've has this glow in the dark glass dildo in a drawer somewhere for god knows how long. Tonight I'm not so sure I'm not crazy because I was pretending to be asleep (I even snored a bit for dramatic effect lol) AND TELL ME WHY I SAW SOMETHING GLOWING IN THE DARK. BUT THIS TIME IT WASN'T BY HIS FACE. I don't even know what to ing do. What if he denies it? Can I really just lay here at night (regardless of getting off or not) and NOT say anything? It's just too ing insane NOT to mention. I'm at a complete loss. You're awfully giddy for someone who caught their boyfriend deep-throating a d*ldo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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