can i ask him why?

[seren]

here it is...

 

my ex broke up with me after 9 months. he said at first it was because he wasnt ready for serious rship, then he went on to say he wasnt sure he was in love, and then he said that he didnt knwo the definate reason why he broke up with me.

 

he told me all this reasons without me ever even asking him once. I cared enough about him to not be horible about a break up and understand he wasnt ready instead. I never bothered him with phone calls or emails or demanding the reason why we broke up, nuttin. instead i have answered his calls which arent too many anyways, his emails etc in a sweet friendly way never mentioning the break up or anything.

 

we have started a friendship which i am v hapy about as we were always v close.

the thing is i know have this desire after 3 months to know why we did for a fact break up.

its kinda annoying me, its like i wanna know so i can have that COMPLETE closure, a reason for the record, a reason to learn from etc....and also i wnat us to stay friends n im scared me not knowing the real reason, or any reason at all really may effect this in long run......

 

do you think i can ask him for a reason?

 

it has been 3 months since we split. we did nc for a month then we emailed n now he calls me once a month about, give or take an odd email inbetween.

 

i dont soooo dont want to seem like im holding on ( cos i am moving on ok i think) and i dont want to put any pressure on him or seem like im still dwelling on us breakin up,c os im not, i just wanna know why we did n i kinda think thats fair enuff.

 

but do u think its ok for me to ask?

 

will he htink im dwelling etc? will it pressure him?

 

what do u think?

[melrich]

I think it is OK to ask him why. But he may not be able to tell you. sometimes we just know things aren't right without necessarily knowing why. He may not be able to put it into words for you.

[Hope75]

I agree with Richgabe, he gave you the reasons he felt were right at the time, and at this point the reason is a moot point since you have been apart for 3 months and you say you are moving along just fine.

 

Go ahead and ask if it makes you feel better, just be prepared if he doesn't have the answer or doesn't want to give it to you.