Batya33 Posted October 15 Share Posted October 15 11 hours ago, ShySoul said: With all these ethical considerations, plus that I don't like big crowds or being the center of attention anyway, you have convinced me to try and convince a future finance to skip the big wedding and head to a minister of the peace. Assuming a CZ ring and that the best man and maid of honor would be ethical friends, that only leaves the cake to worry about. 😁 Probably going to have to change those plans to give her the wedding of her dreams. Though with my outlook, by the time I get there maybe she'll be over the whole big celebration idea. To me the wedding was the ceremony. Not the party. We had 10 people at my inlaws home including the officiant then went out to lunch at the neighborhood restaurant we all loved. Wedding cake baked by the local bakery and brought to the restaurant. My inlaws decorated their home with lovely flowers and served breakfast to the guests. It was the best day ever. My husband was totally open to having a big party later (i.e. after our son was born) but I wasn't into it -I'd planned a big wedding for us for our first, broken engagement and I was really turned off mostly by the whole wedding industry. And the expense!! We did have maybe a 50 person celebration that summer for my inlaws' 50th anniversary so we got to see a lot of family and friends then and introduce them to the baby. I didn't want a bridal shower. My girlfriends who weren't invited to our tiny wedding offered me a bachelorette party, a shower -or a dinner with the two of them. I chose the latter and they took me to this awesome farm to table type restaurant so I guess it was ethical?? I've seen brides thrilled for their wedding reception, seen the opposite and everything in between. I love my diamond engagement ring. Top quality not a huge stone. He proposed with that ring when we got engaged the second time -he saved it! I told him I didn't want a huge rock. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted October 16 Share Posted October 16 @Seraphim ! Could you please tell me more about your vow renewals? I think that sounds so romantic! I remember awhile back maybe you posting about that, but I can’t remember when? I always wanted to ask you why you did that and how it went? Was it as emotional as your original day? Ahhh amore! 🥲 @Batya33 I was exactly like you and Seraphim - my wedding was small (about 32 people) no staff, in a friends very beautiful garden but a garden all the same! I took my vows extremely seriously and we had our friends who are professional musicians play the cello and violin for me down the aisle! Small, low key. It wasn’t about the dress or the food or the marquee for me - it was the lifelong promise made in front of the family and friends we loved and cherished most of all! My Uncle who was still working as a tribunal judge at the time even officiated our vows! He has a fantastic voice and was perfect for the job! I think people can get lost off with the expense and fluff and hype surrounding a wedding ceremony. @ShySoul - I think what matters ring wise is you consider her private and secret tastes and loves when choosing an engagement ring, then you can’t go wrong! Ethics aside n’all! And Seraphim you are right to think about juju! It’s not something that bothers me personally but I have to say, I do wonder sometimes when I look down at my ring… about the young woman who owned this? What her hopes and fears and joys were? What was her wedding day like and her life after that? Was she happy? What did she look like? Did she have children like mine? She will be dead now and as my Grandma used to say “long gone”. Now a spoilt, immature 34 year old redhead in 2024 wears it and wears it for stuffing washing in the machine, manically gardening with dirt all over the band and doing, all sorts, without thinking much about it! Creepy or curious, I don’t know which? 😆 x 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 16 Author Share Posted October 16 16 minutes ago, mylolita said: @Seraphim ! Could you please tell me more about your vow renewals? I think that sounds so romantic! I remember awhile back maybe you posting about that, but I can’t remember when? I always wanted to ask you why you did that and how it went? Was it as emotional as your original day? Ahhh amore! 🥲 @Batya33 I was exactly like you and Seraphim - my wedding was small (about 32 people) no staff, in a friends very beautiful garden but a garden all the same! I took my vows extremely seriously and we had our friends who are professional musicians play the cello and violin for me down the aisle! Small, low key. It wasn’t about the dress or the food or the marquee for me - it was the lifelong promise made in front of the family and friends we loved and cherished most of all! My Uncle who was still working as a tribunal judge at the time even officiated our vows! He has a fantastic voice and was perfect for the job! I think people can get lost off with the expense and fluff and hype surrounding a wedding ceremony. @ShySoul - I think what matters ring wise is you consider her private and secret tastes and loves when choosing an engagement ring, then you can’t go wrong! Ethics aside n’all! And Seraphim you are right to think about juju! It’s not something that bothers me personally but I have to say, I do wonder sometimes when I look down at my ring… about the young woman who owned this? What her hopes and fears and joys were? What was her wedding day like and her life after that? Was she happy? What did she look like? Did she have children like mine? She will be dead now and as my Grandma used to say “long gone”. Now a spoilt, immature 34 year old redhead in 2024 wears it and wears it for stuffing washing in the machine, manically gardening with dirt all over the band and doing, all sorts, without thinking much about it! Creepy or curious, I don’t know which? 😆 x We had to renew our vows because we weren’t married in our faith and our son was doing his first Reconciliation and Communion . Our priest was refusing to do it unless we were married in the Church . So we got remarried on the same day but 11 years later . We were married April 30/94 and had our renewal April 30/05. I think our first wedding was definitely more emotional. However, for our renewal our son brought my ring up. 🥹So , our son and two of nieces were there . Our renewal was called a “Convalidation” meaning our marriage is now recognized by the Catholic Church. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted October 16 Share Posted October 16 1 minute ago, Seraphim said: We had to renew our vows because we weren’t married in our faith and our son was doing his first Reconciliation and Communion . Our priest was refusing to do it unless we were married in the Church . So we got remarried on the same day but 11 years later . We were married April 30/94 and had our renewal April 30/05. I think our first wedding was definitely more emotional. However, for our renewal our son brought my ring up. 🥹So , our son and two of nieces were there . Our renewal was called a “Convalidation” meaning our marriage is now recognized by the Catholic Church. Aw Seraphim! I did not know this! And I definitely didn’t know this about Catholicism! I have been to quite a few Catholic weddings in my time as both my husbands cousins are Catholic and fully involved in the Catholic church - and a few of my friends had Catholic weddings because their fiancés were Catholics! I’ve always loved the incense personally. A lot of drama, which appeals 😆 I think you must be one of the most long standing happily married women on ENA and I would love to ask you a million questions! I think it’s beautiful and what an achievement. x 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 16 Author Share Posted October 16 40 minutes ago, mylolita said: Aw Seraphim! I did not know this! And I definitely didn’t know this about Catholicism! I have been to quite a few Catholic weddings in my time as both my husbands cousins are Catholic and fully involved in the Catholic church - and a few of my friends had Catholic weddings because their fiancés were Catholics! I’ve always loved the incense personally. A lot of drama, which appeals 😆 I think you must be one of the most long standing happily married women on ENA and I would love to ask you a million questions! I think it’s beautiful and what an achievement. x Our priest was just ultra conservative. It depends what kind of priest you get. However, basically he said our son was a ba*t*rd because we weren’t married in the eyes of the Church and he wasn’t giving sacraments in that circumstance. 😓 Thanks! Fun fact this Saturday is the 35th anniversary of our first date . I will be visiting him this weekend ! 😍 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted October 16 Share Posted October 16 4 minutes ago, Seraphim said: Our priest was just ultra conservative. It depends what kind of priest you get. However, basically he said our son was a ba*t*rd because we weren’t married in the eyes of the Church and he wasn’t giving sacraments in that circumstance. 😓 Thanks! Fun fact this Saturday is the 35th anniversary of our first date . I will be visiting him this weekend ! 😍 Ahhh! Seraphim! Your mind is like a computer for dates! Sorry, I had to laugh at the priest! Bloomin’ eck well, I’d love to hear his unfiltered opinion on the divorces and the four different kids to three different baby Daddies and the like! He doesn’t hold back 🤣 I was Christened but none of our children have been. Me and my sister also have God parents but our children don’t. It is on my mind that we need to make a legal will and include legitimate guardians if we were to both pass. Our house is a stones throw away from a very beautiful, gothic looking Catholic Church! Always wanted to go and see what midnight mass is about - it sounds beautiful and mediative to me Seraphim but I’m not sure how members would feel if a stranger turned up! I was at a church group organised play group today with my youngest! I actually love being in churches and looking at their beautiful architecture. I spent most of the harvest school festival, which is held in a Methodist Church of England church, transfixed at the stone masonry. Hundreds of little acorns carved magnificently into the stone columns! Incredible! To think they started building monuments to God back then that they knew would not be finished in their lifetime or even their children’s lifetime! And there we are, stood beneath their rafters and pitches! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 16 Author Share Posted October 16 10 minutes ago, mylolita said: Ahhh! Seraphim! Your mind is like a computer for dates! Sorry, I had to laugh at the priest! Bloomin’ eck well, I’d love to hear his unfiltered opinion on the divorces and the four different kids to three different baby Daddies and the like! He doesn’t hold back 🤣 I was Christened but none of our children have been. Me and my sister also have God parents but our children don’t. It is on my mind that we need to make a legal will and include legitimate guardians if we were to both pass. Our house is a stones throw away from a very beautiful, gothic looking Catholic Church! Always wanted to go and see what midnight mass is about - it sounds beautiful and mediative to me Seraphim but I’m not sure how members would feel if a stranger turned up! I was at a church group organised play group today with my youngest! I actually love being in churches and looking at their beautiful architecture. I spent most of the harvest school festival, which is held in a Methodist Church of England church, transfixed at the stone masonry. Hundreds of little acorns carved magnificently into the stone columns! Incredible! To think they started building monuments to God back then that they knew would not be finished in their lifetime or even their children’s lifetime! And there we are, stood beneath their rafters and pitches! x All are welcomed at Mass 🤗. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted October 17 Share Posted October 17 So, my comments before were meant as a light hearted joke. Honestly, I don't care about the ceremony, reception, rings, etc. Only thing that really matters to me is the person I'm with and the love we share and will spend forever sharing. As long as its the right person, the rest can be whatever makes her happy. A wedding is a day, the marriage and love will be forever. Seraphim, that sounded wonderful. Well, maybe not the ultra conservative priest. Glad you are still together after all this time. And happy anniversary. 🥳 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted October 17 Share Posted October 17 8 hours ago, Seraphim said: All are welcomed at Mass 🤗. Another silly question Seraphim! Sorry about this! But is it best to take a scarf to cover your hair as a sign of respect? Or is this really old fashioned now? I know both my Grandma’s who attended church (Methodists), wore hats to cover their hair. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted October 17 Share Posted October 17 2 hours ago, ShySoul said: So, my comments before were meant as a light hearted joke. Honestly, I don't care about the ceremony, reception, rings, etc. Only thing that really matters to me is the person I'm with and the love we share and will spend forever sharing. As long as its the right person, the rest can be whatever makes her happy. A wedding is a day, the marriage and love will be forever. Seraphim, that sounded wonderful. Well, maybe not the ultra conservative priest. Glad you are still together after all this time. And happy anniversary. 🥳 I got the joke Shy 😆 just launched into wedding talk as I’m want to do any day, anytime 🥳🤪 Any excuse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 17 Author Share Posted October 17 3 hours ago, mylolita said: Another silly question Seraphim! Sorry about this! But is it best to take a scarf to cover your hair as a sign of respect? Or is this really old fashioned now? I know both my Grandma’s who attended church (Methodists), wore hats to cover their hair. x We don’t do that anymore . The only thing you would not be able to participate in is the communion . You can come up with the others and cross you arms across your chest in an x and receive a blessing . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 17 Author Share Posted October 17 Hopefully the guy can install my dishwasher today . That will make my mom so so happy . She had to stop washing dishes and pass it onto me to do because she got eczema on her hands . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 17 Share Posted October 17 13 minutes ago, Seraphim said: Hopefully the guy can install my dishwasher today . That will make my mom so so happy . She had to stop washing dishes and pass it onto me to do because she got eczema on her hands . I use aquaphor regularly. I don't have eczema but extremely dry skin plus I take a daily low dose aspirin so I bleed more if it gets to that point. I hope the dishwasher works beautifully! Do you use paper plates more when that happens? I do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 17 Author Share Posted October 17 50 minutes ago, Batya33 said: I use aquaphor regularly. I don't have eczema but extremely dry skin plus I take a daily low dose aspirin so I bleed more if it gets to that point. I hope the dishwasher works beautifully! Do you use paper plates more when that happens? I do! No , we have been using regular dishes. My son hates paper plates. My mom I swear is allergic to everything she’s allergic to latex so can’t use the dish gloves. She’s even allergic to Cereve it gave her heart palpitations. She’s a mess you never know what to give her or get her . She will find a reason why she can’t use it . She was awake all night because someone was coming and now she is running back-and-forth to the bathroom because she was awake all night and it set off her intestines. She is making my anxiety extra bad and she wonders where I got anxiety. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 17 Share Posted October 17 Ugh it sounds so frustrating ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 18 Author Share Posted October 18 Heading out to see my hubby. Long 5 to 6 hour drive . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted October 18 Share Posted October 18 Have fun with the hubby. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 19 Author Share Posted October 19 Happy 35th anniversary of our first date ❤️ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted Tuesday at 09:17 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 09:17 PM My mom’s sister-in-law has cancer . Her brother’s gf. Today also would have been her 30th anniversary with my step dad . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted Tuesday at 10:02 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 10:02 PM Sorry to hear that. Hope it isn't too bad on her. Problem with getting older, seems like there is always some one having some health issue. Can be draining. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted Tuesday at 10:13 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 10:13 PM 9 minutes ago, ShySoul said: Sorry to hear that. Hope it isn't too bad on her. Problem with getting older, seems like there is always some one having some health issue. Can be draining. Absolutely. And being she is crawling towards 80 it is her daily life it seems. Her SIL is only 69. I told her to take heart because my MIL survived the same cancer twice . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted Friday at 11:25 PM Author Share Posted Friday at 11:25 PM My brother and his gf were in a serious accident and his gf is in surgery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted Friday at 11:28 PM Share Posted Friday at 11:28 PM 2 minutes ago, Seraphim said: My brother and his gf were in a serious accident and his gf is in surgery. I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope she recovers quickly -is he ok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted Friday at 11:41 PM Author Share Posted Friday at 11:41 PM 10 minutes ago, Batya33 said: I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope she recovers quickly -is he ok? I believe he is , I am not sure but she had her hand and other things crushed they were hit at high speed and the fire dept had to pry them out . The other driver as well who was a teenager . Their car also caught fire . I am waiting for more information. 😓😓😓😓 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted Friday at 11:44 PM Author Share Posted Friday at 11:44 PM My poor mom is beside herself . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts