Seraphim Posted January 6 Author Share Posted January 6 9 hours ago, itsallgrand said: Ugh it's terrible 😞 Its getting hard to have a nice life here. I'm grateful for a roof over my head and I can afford good food. It's gotten ridiculous now. Right ?! I thank God we are still eating and have food. My brother has been saying for a while that anyone not making 6 figures pretty soon will be hitting poverty . There are people now who previously lived in homes had normal jobs and such now living in cars are on the street.😓 He said it is going to get worse . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 6 Author Share Posted January 6 1 hour ago, mylolita said: It’s beyond a joke here in England - I think we are officially one of the worst countries. Gas and energy companies have announced the average household heating bill will rise by £3,000 a month. That is £3,000 on top of the other £1,200 that people don’t have. Plus the mortgage rates, and the food costs are insane in the supermarkets. And this is all apparently because of Russia! Err… 🧐 how about, trying to claw back all the money they wasted shutting the economy down for a year during the “pandemic”. Shake the money tree harder???? x My brother is a financial advisor of almost 30 years and a few months before the pandemic he said something is coming that is going to end the world as we know it and all the outcomes will be bad . Everyone that is living hand to mouth and one paycheque from disaster will hit just that. Disaster. He said no one is prepared. All true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 6 Author Share Posted January 6 I always see Facebook posts about parents looking for places to go or activities where they don’t have to watch the kids to drop their kids on weekends . Here’s a hint . Look after your kids and entertain them yourself . You don’t spend all week with them and you want to ditch them on the weekends too. Why did you have them then???? I was never without my son when I wasn’t working. I am still not . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 4 hours ago, Seraphim said: I always see Facebook posts about parents looking for places to go or activities where they don’t have to watch the kids to drop their kids on weekends . Here’s a hint . Look after your kids and entertain them yourself . You don’t spend all week with them and you want to ditch them on the weekends too. Why did you have them then???? I was never without my son when I wasn’t working. I am still not . I find/found the same. One example sticks out - when my son was around 4 we were supposed to meet up with a local mom and her 2 young kids. What surprised me so much was how scheduled she had them with "classes" -they were under 5. Expensive art classes etc - meanwhile we basically went to the playground, he came with me on some errands, we went to library story time and once a week the local museum playroom. A couple of music classes- handful. A lot of the time was just unstructured play -a lot outdoors and some in. In fact this mom had to cancel on me because her kids fell asleep in the car after doing all those classes lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 7 Author Share Posted January 7 5 minutes ago, Batya33 said: I find/found the same. One example sticks out - when my son was around 4 we were supposed to meet up with a local mom and her 2 young kids. What surprised me so much was how scheduled she had them with "classes" -they were under 5. Expensive art classes etc - meanwhile we basically went to the playground, he came with me on some errands, we went to library story time and once a week the local museum playroom. A couple of music classes- handful. A lot of the time was just unstructured play -a lot outdoors and some in. In fact this mom had to cancel on me because her kids fell asleep in the car after doing all those classes lol I just don’t understand. Our kids are the most precious thing life brings and they want to spend no time with them. Childhood is gone in a flash. I remember when your son was born and poof he is 14. I came here when my son was 8 and now he is 26. We always tell people to cherish these years because they are gone quickly . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 5 minutes ago, Seraphim said: I just don’t understand. Our kids are the most precious thing life brings and they want to spend no time with them. Childhood is gone in a flash. I remember when your son was born and poof he is 14. I came here when my son was 8 and now he is 26. We always tell people to cherish these years because they are gone quickly . So for me when he was under 6 I simply didn't want to leave him most places other than -school of course. I was a SAHM and when I went back part time he started with one day of after school program and later on 2 days - when he was 7. My husband always always wanted to be with him and hang with him when he wasn't working. Thick as thieves those 2 -and it's wonderful to see. They're binge watching Survivor right now -(as you know he's almost 15 so yes it goes by fast!) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 7 Author Share Posted January 7 4 minutes ago, Batya33 said: So for me when he was under 6 I simply didn't want to leave him most places other than -school of course. I was a SAHM and when I went back part time he started with one day of after school program and later on 2 days - when he was 7. My husband always always wanted to be with him and hang with him when he wasn't working. Thick as thieves those 2 -and it's wonderful to see. They're binge watching Survivor right now -(as you know he's almost 15 so yes it goes by fast!) It goes by super fast ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 16 hours ago, Seraphim said: I always see Facebook posts about parents looking for places to go or activities where they don’t have to watch the kids to drop their kids on weekends . Here’s a hint . Look after your kids and entertain them yourself . You don’t spend all week with them and you want to ditch them on the weekends too. Why did you have them then???? I was never without my son when I wasn’t working. I am still not . AGREED SERAPHIM! I couldn’t agree MORE! I have Mums who are like, “Can I just drop so and so round yours and come and pick them back up at 1?” It’s like! You don’t really know us from Adam, only at the school gates, and you’re happy to ditch your 5 year old with me and my husband and kids?! I mean, obviously they are going to be looked after better than I imagine they would get at home(!) but, that’s not the point! So many kids in my sons class, they are 5 years old and 6, when school ends (which is a long day anyway, from 8:45am till 3:15pm) over half of them get put in after school clubs. One is just where they all watch a film. I feel beyond sad for them. Some Mums say to me, “Why doesn’t B go in the clubs?” And I feel like saying, 5 days a week 8 hours a day is enough for me AND him! I wanna see my kids!!!!! Insane! And cold! Cold as ice I often think. All parents do is complain about their kids as well, if you notice and listen. For any one positive thing said about them, 10 negative things follow. Again like yourself, I’m stood there wondering - why did you ever have them?! And how horrible that the kids are often there to hear the parents talk like that! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 I’m still in two minds about home schooling. Last year, when he was 5, he learnt about different sexualities, including that men can marry men and women can marry women. It’s opened up a very confusing can of worms I wouldn’t personally have opened if he hadn’t asked himself. It’s confused a lot of the kids, as of course, 4 and 5 year olds are not sexual and don’t need to know about all the different dynamics of adult relationships, including how people live together and shack up. They are on thin ice with me and I’m ready to check out of British Schooling 2024 if much else goes down in that regard!!! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 Also, sorry to go on Seraphim 🥲🤣 but these 5 and 6 year olds get out of after school clubs when it’s pitch black at 5:30pm. Kids that age need an early nights rest, especially during the school week, and should be in bed by 6:30 in my opinion. So where does that leave time for a nice family home cooked meal? Some family time, some playing and talking? A nice bath, book and bedtime? If they are just leaving at 5:30 then have to travel home and get in? Most of them have outbursts and look pale - I think it’s due to lack of sleep! No home cooked meals. One of my favourite times of the day after my son comes home from school is to start cooking, get the tea on and then sit around the table as a family and chat about our day, have our in jokes, talk about anything that’s bothering us and just simply relax! Poor kids. I feel sorry. I feel like saying, what is NOT important is you both working so you can have two cars, a vacation every year, a big house, and designer clothes. What IS important is the time with your children, no matter what their age - because yes, even though mine are young; I can already see and feel just how painfully fast it is going, and only this morning, I was lamenting to my husband how beautiful and specially and quiet it was when they were all tiny babies! You can’t buy time back! It’s a real shame. I think some of them will look back and regret putting their careers before their children, but some won’t, because I genuinely get the feeling they don’t love their children like I do, and want them gone and grown up before their time. My kids have always been my best friends Seraphim, I suppose I feel so bad and empathise with them. I feel like I can tell when some kids are unhappy. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 7 Author Share Posted January 7 That is the thing they are running the hamster wheel. One of my daycare mom’s goes to the gym after work and gets to my house literally two minutes before I close sometimes 30 seconds. She gets here at 4:58 and then is hustling her kids out the door because they have some kind of activity. They get to my house at 7:15 AM. They get on the school bus at 8:40 AM . Then they are at school all day, at my house from 3:55 until supper which they eat in the car on activity night and then home and eat and go to bed. I do my job so I am at home relating with my son and he works with me. I changed my working hours continuously so it was easier for my son. I worked so early I was home for when he was done school. I would work part time . When he started high school I was home for a few years. I drove him to college daily and picked him up . I changed my life around his needs. I am very privileged that I could but we also missed out and struggled in the early years because of it . I get that so many families are behind the 8 ball right now I really do. But this will be your child’s memories of you and their memories of their life . Back when we went to school sexuality wasn’t taught until grade 6 or 7. Same for my son as well. There is no need to discuss any topics of sexuality with kinder children . There really isn’t . I don’t consider myself lacking jr ignorant or anything else because they weren’t discussing topics that were far beyond my development and understanding at the time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mylolita Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 I appreciate how you juggled Seraphim and how Batya worked and organised her savings and career to be there in the early years which are, just so important. I also live in the real world (well; half the time!) and understand people need money to live, and it’s getting crazy expensive - extortionate, actually, criminal, that the government is shaking us down like this - but I also remember my parents when they first got married, and when me and my sister were ages baby to about 5, we didn’t have a tv. They had bare minimum, second hand furniture; and a second hand oven my Grandma gave them. My mum stayed at home and my Dad was working in a factory at this point as a tool maker and studying at a night school on evenings. My Mum could have worked, and we could of had a tv, and a brand new sofa maybe - but we had no holidays back then, but we were at home for the most part until we hit 3 and started nursery. I may disagree with the nursery school, I still think 3 is too young personally to be left to strangers, especially someone like my son who didn’t speak until he was 3 and a half! So couldn’t tell me if anything was wrong if I had him cared for somewhere. But people just don’t want to sacrifice now like you did Seraphim. It’s my spoiled generation. I am exactly the same and admit it - want everything now, can’t wait or save or sacrifice or do without for anything! We want it all bigger and better and yesterday! It’s part of the mentality where women my age think they can have it all at once - this super duper high flying career at 80 hours a week plus 2.5 kids and a gym life and a social life. It’s not possible; I’m sorry! We are human. You can have everything, but just not everything all at once! I would love to delve into a personal dream or two of mine at a selfish, professional level, but I would ideally like to do this when my children are grown up more. I hope I’m healthy and still around in 10 years - LOL! Wow, that sounds bleak doesn’t it! I just don’t take anything for granted. Each day is a gift. You gotta fill your days with love all you can!!! Your brother is right, by the way, about the financial stuff. Also to add, people with six figure incomes often have six figure debt. That’s where they get themselves unstuck because they go above their means. My husband often says, people simply spend what they have. He has multi-millionaires on a payment plans for items they have bought off him. They have cleared their accounts! It’s nuts, and very flawed, and very human! We were offered a huge whackin’ mortgage 3 years ago. We nearly took it! Thank God we didn’t! I say we would’ve gone bust - secretly, I have complete faith my husband would even have juggled that somehow, but still, wow - what stress, and all for greed as well. I realise there are people genuinely suffering and it’s ghastly - no one who works any job should be going hungry or unable to heat their homes. A true travesty. My complaint is with the two brand new car, big mortgage, holiday or two every year so we “have” to work and never see their kids between their schedule and bloomin’ the kids schedule! It makes me exhausted just thinking about it! I personally, Seraphim, cultivate slow living, and take it easy for the most part where I can. I try not book too much socially every week and I keep weekends to “one thing a day” meaning, one outing a day. Also for school days. So we’re not bouncing from thing to thing hauling exhausted kids. My youngest is two but still tiny, and she needs her nap and really so does my other daughter, and of course my 5 year old boy gets tired too. They’re still young. Maybe I baby them too much? 🤣 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 7 Author Share Posted January 7 Slow living , yup , we need to go back to it . We are killing ourselves on this hamster wheel. Mail me back to the 1970’s. My fav decade . My brother is lucky he has zero debt . He only has assets. He bought his BMW cash in two months. He does have things he has to pay though like his childcare payments and his ex wife. However, that all comes to an end in four years. Then he is selling his business and heading out of Canada never to return. He said I am being robbed blind by all the tax I pay. I can live like an emperor somewhere else. We have our greed as well and have some debt but still flying above the floating line thanks to my husband. I decided not to work the high powered jobs because my mother did and it took her away from us so much and I missed her fiercely. She had no choice as my father most of the time chose not to work or do anything . Also my son needed my support . We started out poor as Church mice. We had a cast me down 40 year old couch from his parents. My twin bed from home and a 14 inch black and white TV and not even a stove, but we had bought our condo. But we were poor poor poor. So we have literally built everything together. I just see family life getting worse and worse and worse for many people and it is sad . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 Fortunately we didn't need my savings but I insisted on contributing monthly to living expenses when I was home full time for 7.5 year. I work part time because I want to. I don't have to. I wanted to return to my career that I worked so hard to attain, and my priority was our son. So not only did I focus on part time but part time where I could mostly work from home and also feel comfortable saying no to work because of child care needs. This meant a huge paycut and demotion in level which was totally good with me. It still is 7 plus years later. Also I have the security that if heaven forbid something happens to my husband/his job - I have my nest egg (and he has his) and I can work full time at my current job -they'd likely be happy to have me do so! By way of example I have one friend who gave birth a few months after me and we are the same age. IVF with her husband's last sperm -I'm not really exaggerating! She explained to me that as a physician she could not take time out from work to be home full time. Professional suicide basically. I respect that. From all I know -we've lost touch somewhat the last few years -her child is a great person and her parents love and loved her so much - the husband/dad -great person. So I know of those instances and no I don't judge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 7 Author Share Posted January 7 12 minutes ago, Batya33 said: Fortunately we didn't need my savings but I insisted on contributing monthly to living expenses when I was home full time for 7.5 year. I work part time because I want to. I don't have to. I wanted to return to my career that I worked so hard to attain, and my priority was our son. So not only did I focus on part time but part time where I could mostly work from home and also feel comfortable saying no to work because of child care needs. This meant a huge paycut and demotion in level which was totally good with me. It still is 7 plus years later. Also I have the security that if heaven forbid something happens to my husband/his job - I have my nest egg (and he has his) and I can work full time at my current job -they'd likely be happy to have me do so! By way of example I have one friend who gave birth a few months after me and we are the same age. IVF with her husband's last sperm -I'm not really exaggerating! She explained to me that as a physician she could not take time out from work to be home full time. Professional suicide basically. I respect that. From all I know -we've lost touch somewhat the last few years -her child is a great person and her parents love and loved her so much - the husband/dad -great person. So I know of those instances and no I don't judge! Yes, we all start out differently for sure. We started out so young just out of university. We really had very little and no high paying job. Those came a bit later. I guess it’s all how we start out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 7 Author Share Posted January 7 Supposed to be a snow storm Tuesday but I think it will be mostly rain because it will be right on freezing mark. Then Friday is supposed to be more snow . Hasn’t really been a winter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 We were looking at the Christmas card my husband’s uncle sent from the UK. It was a picture of him with his war medals. We noticed he has a French Foreign Legion Medal of honour for service to France . ( not that he was in the Legion, he was a British soldier. But spent part of the war in France and Germany.)He had two war stars and two other medals and the French Foreign Legion medal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 Happy dance!!!! Hubby got a letter from pension board saying he is eligible to retire on his birthday this year !!!!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 I put hubby’s letter in a frame and taking him out for dinner tonight . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 10 Author Share Posted January 10 Super windy this morning and the temperatures are falling . Yesterday’s snow is all gone because it rained overnight. Lots and lots of rain but supposed to get 20 cm of snow Friday . Where I’m moving to they are getting about 60 cm of snow over three days. Hubby was super happy about his news. At least he knows now he has that option this coming June. He’s calling the pension board just to make sure he has maxed out, but we are getting incredibly good news after the past three years of really really really bad times. And what are the chances we would get the offer of a house and he could retire at the same time ???! !! Incredible right ? As my son says , “ how does nil sound and what is wrong with this picture.” 😅 We shall see, we shall see. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 11 Author Share Posted January 11 We had a great family walk after supper. It is about -10C with the windchill and freezing rain pellets but it was still good. A nice brisk walk does the spirit and body a lot of good. I have a phone call appointment with my doctor Friday for renewing my meds. I will mention to him the issues with this one . I think the gastro issues have stopped but the tinnitus is still there 24/7 some days pretty loud and other days it is very faint . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 5 minutes ago, Seraphim said: We had a great family walk after supper. It is about -10C with the windchill and freezing rain pellets but it was still good. A nice brisk walk does the spirit and body a lot of good. I have a phone call appointment with my doctor Friday for renewing my meds. I will mention to him the issues with this one . I think the gastro issues have stopped but the tinnitus is still there 24/7 some days pretty loud and other days it is very faint . I'm happy to hear that at least the gastro issues are better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 11 Author Share Posted January 11 2 minutes ago, Batya33 said: I'm happy to hear that at least the gastro issues are better. For sure ! The throwing up wasn’t pleasant I must say , especially in the middle of the night waking up and having to run for the bathroom. My in person appointment is Feb 1 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 2 minutes ago, Seraphim said: For sure ! The throwing up wasn’t pleasant I must say , especially in the middle of the night waking up and having to run for the bathroom. My in person appointment is Feb 1 . Ugh I'm so sorry. I'm so glad that's better. You're so resilient. I sure wish you didn't have to be that resilient with those sorts of issues!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 11 Author Share Posted January 11 2 minutes ago, Batya33 said: Ugh I'm so sorry. I'm so glad that's better. You're so resilient. I sure wish you didn't have to be that resilient with those sorts of issues!! I wish I didn’t have diabetes for sure. But I have such a strong family history of it on my dad’s side of the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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