Help, am I playing too hard to get

[quing]

The love of my life and the person I trusted, my ex of 6 years left me out of the blue 3 weeks ago to go on a date with someone else, I intiated NC from day one, did not tell her I love her did not chase or anything.

Since then she has acted curious and emailed me regarding picking her stuff up from our appartment, and dragging her heals about it I have to add.

I have been trying to kindly push her out the door to give the impression I am moving forwards and want her out.

She has promised to return the key to the appartment but even after I have asked her for it she still is a week late returning it, (she has only moved half a mile away.

 

Her emails have all tried to emphasize how she is doing alright and getting on with life.

She sent a text talking about collecting the rest of her stuff and returning the key and asked if I fancied doing lunch?

I said I could not do lunch that day but said maybe a drink sometime in the week.

 

Later in the week I get an email talking about how she has got everything and started talking about the photos she has gone through and split into separate piles and said didn't we have some fun?

 

And I am up for that drink when you are ready.

 

I replied politely and skipped all her questions about 'fun' instead asking for some old school photos and dissolving our shared account and asking when she can settle the outstanding money she owes me, (a few grand)and asked if she had returned the key yet.

 

I did not respond on the drink at all.

 

it has been one whole day since the last email from her.

 

I feel I would like to go on a drink but I am worried about her roping me into something I don't want to be a part of. Like trying to make sure I am on the sidelines so she can carry on etc.

 

I want to be in the driving seat not her, and I felt declining her first offer was a good start.

 

What I am wondering is am I going the right way about setting myself up as a challenge, she said when she left me that she loved me, and I gave her and her date my blessing and said I am glad she is happy and that he has done us both a favour by coming between us (I was lying I really want to knock his head off with a shovel)

 

That in itself rattled her, she imediatly started to try and make me jealous by making me help her get ready for her date, (a very short dress)

I obliged and said have fun whilst gritting my teeth.

 

I am hopefully meeting a girl tonight but would dearly love my ex to acknowledge that she made a stupid mistake, this would make my life easier.

 

Should I hold fire on sending another return email to say yes I will go on that drink, and move on.

[guy40az]

I wouldn't go out for a drink with her. Tell her something came up and you have a date that night. You want to give her the impression that you are moving on Once she sees or has the impression you have moved on it will really make her think. If she wants you back you will know right then.

 

I don't know if you want her back or not but I think you would be better off moving on to some one else after all she just decided to leave you all of a sudden.

 

Was she trying to see if the grass was greener on the other side of the fence?

[quing]

You are right, I am sure, she needs to work harder and kiss my arse just for a few minutes of my time. really

 

But I must admit it is hard, because part of me still sort of loves and misses her, I think, we did have alot of memories but i have chose to block them out and let her do all the reminising.

 

I am sure the frustration of a relationship made her feel the grass is greener, I felt it a bit myself so the break was almost mutual, it was just the betrayal I felt after 6 whole years of trust.

If we parted with a clean break it would have been so much easier.

 

She is only 26 so most of her youth has been with me.

I did trust her but on the final days the fact that she was conspiring with another guy really brings a rage inside of me.

 

For her to be all happy and want a friendly little chat over a drink makes me more annoyed really, I want her to feel and ackowledge she made a big mistake and to see her beg for me.

 

Thats why I worry, that I will not give her chance or opportunity to say sorry.

 

Maybe she don't want to, I don't know.

[providentielle]

Do you want to get back with this girl? Or do you just want her to want you again so you can be the one who leaves her? You need to be sure about what you want before you can decide what you should do. The truth is though, if she loves you and wants to be with you then making yourself a challenge, or not, will make no difference. Good luck

[quing]

>>Do you want to get back with this girl?

 

I don't know, I just want the hurt to go away and I feel her admitting she made a big mistake would help me start to heal.

 

Until that time her friendly little emails about collecting her stuff and asking if I fancy lunch or signing off her emails with 'Whenever you feel ready for that drink, I'm up for it.' Hugs.

And saying things like 'I took the box with the photos in with me with the intention of sorting through them all . Am still getting to grips with the million pics! We had fun, didn't we?

Which I did not comment on.

 

It Just enrages me, I feel and fear she is trying to get me out so she can test me and my feelings so she can pin me on the sidelines and wound me more.

That is why I have turned down both lunch and said maybe another time and avoided answering her regarding the drink.

I figured if I do not say yes or no then it's left open and no where.

 

She has seen not one inch of anger of feeling from me since the break up, so I know she is very curious about what I am upto.

 

6 years is a long time to let go of, especially when we did actaully get on very well, it's just I did not do the running away.

 

I am to buy a girl I liked the look of a drink tonight , hopefully that takes edge off things.

 

But this ex of mine has my house key and was to return it and so far has refused, yet she promised she would leave it Sunday so I can get on with my life and take girls I meet back.

 

Now I don't know when my ex will come in un invited.