bs lines guys give when breakin up?

[seren]

what do you guys think about people breaking up cos they arent ready for a SERIOUS relationship.....

 

my ex and i were 2gether 9 months, everthing was so awesome between us.......no major dramas........then we broke up, he wasnt read for serious rship.........

 

can ppl break up honestly cos their not ready for serious rship or is this just bs line......

 

we had one month no contact, he now calls me here n there, even when we broke up we admitted we had v strong feleings n there was no argument or beggin, just tears n hugs............

 

can ppl just not b ready 4 serious rship?

what does it mean if so?

he said being in love means u get married n he isnt ready for that

[annie24]

Two possibilities:

 

1) He's just not that into you.

 

He doesn't like you very much, so he needed a reason to break it off and didn't want to just flat out say, "I just don't like you very much."

 

or

 

2) He really isn't ready for a real relationship.

 

Some people just aren't ready. If you two are in different "stages", then I think it's really good that he told you sooner rather than later.

 

Either way, I think he did you a favor. Now you can go out and find a guy who is ready to be in a relationship with you, if a relationship is what you want.

 

Good luck.

[RayKay]

annie is right on with her post.

 

Sometimes they do use that "line" as they just don't really want to be with you anymore, and it seems like an "easy way out". You can usually figure out this was a line if a couple months later they are suddenly very attached, and three months later are picking out wedding rings and china patterns. In these cases, they just were not that into you, in other words, you were not the one for them.

 

In other cases, they really are NOT at that stage where they can feel "tied down" nor are ready to "settle down". They may love you, but something in them is telling them they need their freedom, to find out whom they are more on their own. They cannot put forth the commitment required in a relationship as that urge to be on their own is far stronger.

 

In both cases, the positives of being with you don't outweight the positives of leaving at least for them at that time.

 

I have heard both used on me, interestingly by two boyfriends in a row! The first it turned out that #1 was the case, he was engaged within months, and married within a year. In the second case, it was #2 that was the case. Almost a year later he is still single, dates a few girls, but is happy with his choice as things were just getting too strained with him knowing he needed to be on his own. He loved me, but was no longer "in love with me" and he kind of knew I was not the one - he regrets it did not work. But we are still very good friends and have both happily moved on.

 

So in the end, whatever they tell may very well be true and valid from their perspective. Be happy he DID set you free rather than keep you around for a while longer and then do it, now you can meet someone who does not have these "issues" and who IS very much into you and does look forward to a future with you. You deserve that!

[Day_Walker]

A person can break up with another person for any reason. You may never know if that was the real reason why he broke up with you. Instead you are just showing how emotional you from the situation because you are questioning his reasons for the break up. Instead you need to realize that he did break up with you and you cant change that.

[chai714]

A person can break up with another person for any reason. You may never know if that was the real reason why he broke up with you. Instead you are just showing how emotional you from the situation because you are questioning his reasons for the break up. Instead you need to realize that he did break up with you and you cant change that.

 

To add to what Day_Walker said: People will try to justify or rationalize their reasons for breaking up before they even actually break up. First, the idea stems in their head of what they want. Then, they come up with a reason (which makes sense to them, but possibly not the person they're breaking up with) to break up with that person. Afterwards, they make sense of the reason, and come up with supporting ideas that justify the action they're taking. Finally, they take action with their idea and do the actual breaking up.

 

This is in effect, the psychology of the "dumper." As you can see, it's a process which first stems in their head of what they want, followed by a self-justification process. It gives the dumper more peace of mind because they justify it with reasons that make sense to them, thereby giving them more inner peace with their decision.

[seren]

so either way it means he wasnt in love with me?

[annie24]

It's hard to say. I don't know and I don't think any of us can answer that. He may not even know himself. Don't be too hard on yourself. Like the song goes, "Sometimes love just ain't enough." The timing of a relationship sometimes isn't right. Chin up, ok?

[lakergal]

And sometimes the guys/gals are just MESSED up... what they say is what they feel at that particular second but it changes as teh seconds change...

 

In my case, my ex is bi-polar. He hits his "slump" which in this case was ending his addiction to Everquest and his guild within that game... rather than admit what was going on inside of him related to the game he pinned it on me... as he did when he played the stupid thing...

 

So, when he said he was REALLY messed up, I believed him and still do. When he said I deserve so much better than what he can provide, I believed him and still do.

 

He told me, and numerous others the night before he proclaimed that we were done, that I was the: love of his life, so good to him and his kids, took such good care of him, and was generous and kind.

 

He told me he loved me with all his heart and that it was not a matter of wanting to be with me or not. He just wanted out...

 

Apparently, not that far out - he moved less than 3 miles from where we were building our home (and we live in a metro area of about 3.5 million people - there were plenty of other areas to move to).

 

That, and only THAT, is messed up. He hit his trough of depression - singing very sad songs, doing irrational things, etc... and dumped me.

 

I'm devastated beyond belief but also know that doing anything with/for him is out of the question. Not because I want to "play" that game, but because for me, it's better... allows me space to put my life back together again.

 

I miss him beyond belief; I regret he would not and could not get help for his mental instability. But I am not responsible for him, only for me.

 

So, what does it mean when guys/gals say something? I don't know... but trust that what they say is followed up by their actions and watch that more closely.

 

I will love my ex forever - no matter what he did during the 2 years he lived with me... I'd have moved heaven and hell to help him and did try with everything I had... in the end, depression won. There's nothing I can do about that... no matter how much I could.

 

So, my only advice is this: concentrate on you. For me I ask God to help and watch over him for the rest of his life since I can't. It's called letting go and letting God do the work... it brings me peace most times.