I did something intimate with my friends brother who is my roommate...Confused

[boltnrun]

If you enjoy the extreme lows and highs, then stay.

 

If you want a steady, secure, loving relationship, leave.

 

"Hoping" he eventually wants to be your boyfriend isn't going to get you what you want.

[Wiseman2]

It's interesting that you see any change you want to see as permanent. What is the real reason you won't move out? Are you strapped for cash or having difficulty finding something? If he cares, moving out would improve, not harm this.

he has changed some of his behavior. He isn't staying out all night anymore. It's going to be even harder for me to move out now having more feelings for him.

[Metaltwin70]

Sian,

 

If you were really truly into a man and wanted a long term relationship with him, would you behave the way that he does?

 

Can you afford to move out? How much would it cost you to rent a small studio where you live?

[Siantulipgir]

I know what you are saying Wise but it is none of those factors. I'm not strapped for cash or can't find anything. I think one reason I am scared to move out is because I would be wondering what he is doing when he's not with me. Ughhh I know you are right about if he does care it shouldn't change anything. He would want to come over and be with me.

[Siantulipgir]

If you enjoy the extreme lows and highs, then stay.

 

If you want a steady, secure, loving relationship, leave.

 

"Hoping" he eventually wants to be your boyfriend isn't going to get you what you want.

 

I hate the extreme lows and highs. When it's the lowest it's like he's mad at me and that's when he makes smart a*s remarks But I don't know what I did wrong. Problem is I want that good kind of relationship with him . I feel like hope is all I have bolt. I'm crying while I'm replying to your message thinking maybe I should never have gone and done anything with him ever. My thinking is all over the place right now.

[Metaltwin70]

'I know you are right about if he does care it shouldn't change anything. He would want to come over and be with me.'

 

Ok so, you know this and you can afford to move out. What's stopping you? He does what he wants when he wants WITH you living there. You're just torturing yourself unnecessarily.. We're the same age. I can't fathom how you cope. You really think it's better to have half-breadcrumbs thrown your way than nothing at all - for a period of time, UNTIL you meet someone who WILL care for you and love you?

[Siantulipgir]

Sian,

 

If you were really truly into a man and wanted a long term relationship with him, would you behave the way that he does?

 

Can you afford to move out? How much would it cost you to rent a small studio where you live?

 

Money would be tight but I could move out . A studio here in my area is $1200 a month.

 

I think he is insecure sometimes and that's why he behaves like a jerk well at least part of the reason.

[Metaltwin70]

'I think he is insecure sometimes and that's why he behaves like a jerk well at least part of the reason.'

 

No Sian. He behaves like a jerk because he is a jerk. Insecure..? What's insecure got to do with putting it about as much as he can and picking and choosing when he deigns you with his royal presence? He seems UBER-secure to me, jumping from one bed to another, because, well, he gets away with it, doesn't he?

[boltnrun]

Money would be tight but I could move out . A studio here in my area is $1200 a month.

 

I think he is insecure sometimes and that's why he behaves like a jerk well at least part of the reason.

 

That is an excuse you've invented to justify staying around waiting for the crumbs he throws you in between getting sex from you.

 

Are you "insecure"? If so, would you act the way he does toward someone you care about?

[abitbroken]

Money would be tight but I could move out . A studio here in my area is $1200 a month.

 

I think he is insecure sometimes and that's why he behaves like a jerk well at least part of the reason.

 

Its not up to you to "fix" him (ie, "its okay he's a jerk its just that he's insecure and misunderstood).

 

He is not insecure -- he is strutting around like the of the walk - showing off his feathers. He can sleep with ex. You will do anything he wants you to as long as he gives you an ounce of attention and that's absolutely pathetic.

 

There are other roommate situations with single female roommates or divorced moms with one kid or move a little father away and get something cheaper. whatever.

 

But you need to stop being the booty call immediately if you want to keep your self respect.

[boltnrun]

I mean, you did have sex with him without being in a relationship with him. And you did this knowing he has sex with at least one other woman.

 

Of course you're insecure and anxious!

[Siantulipgir]

Another update Really upset last night we decided to have sex again. We were fooling around and had oral sex and lots of touching. He was really turned on at that point and orgasmed. But when it came time for intercourse he had a hard time getting erect. It's like he isn't turned on by me anymore. He was able to get hard finally but lasted for like only a minute ughh. Guess I am getting what I deserve for even going there with him. Crying after being with him.

[Siantulipgir]

I mean, you did have sex with him without being in a relationship with him. And you did this knowing he has sex with at least one other woman.

 

Of course you're insecure and anxious!

 

Yes boltnrun I am anxious and insecure especially after last night. If you read my latest update I'm even feeling more unsure now. Wishing I had held out and not given in yet. And someone woman tried calling him this morning too. Then when he left to go see his son just now he was texting someone.

[Siantulipgir]

Its not up to you to "fix" him (ie, "its okay he's a jerk its just that he's insecure and misunderstood).

 

He is not insecure -- he is strutting around like the of the walk - showing off his feathers. He can sleep with ex. You will do anything he wants you to as long as he gives you an ounce of attention and that's absolutely pathetic.

 

There are other roommate situations with single female roommates or divorced moms with one kid or move a little father away and get something cheaper. whatever.

 

But you need to stop being the booty call immediately if you want to keep your self respect.

 

I don't want to fix him. He seemed to be different this last week. Not arrogant or full of himself. I can't help it I just have a lot of feelings for him and yes when he shows me attention it means everything I know how stupid can I be right?? It just seemed like he was making a real effort to show me he likes me this week. But sometimes he seems almost mad at me and not sure what that is all about.

 

If I move out I don't want any roommate situation period. I have always had my own place.

[boltnrun]

Why are you doing this to yourself?

[Siantulipgir]

'I think he is insecure sometimes and that's why he behaves like a jerk well at least part of the reason.'

 

No Sian. He behaves like a jerk because he is a jerk. Insecure..? What's insecure got to do with putting it about as much as he can and picking and choosing when he deigns you with his royal presence? He seems UBER-secure to me, jumping from one bed to another, because, well, he gets away with it, doesn't he?

 

Well everyone else his family and friends thinks he's just so lovable and a good guy. He has been coming home not staying out all night the last 2 weeks. Reassuring me not to worry when he does go places. Yeah I might be a ego boost to him idk. But if you read my latest update I am more confused than ever.

[Siantulipgir]

Why are you doing this to yourself?

 

Because I fell for him. And now I have all these feelings for him. I don't understand why he couldn't get hard last night when he seems so turned on other times. And had no problem last weekend getting erect. Sorry frustrated because I put myself in this position. Editing my reply to you because He just called me to asking me to go to breakfast with him next Sunday . I told him yes like a dummy ughh

[boltnrun]

You complain and complain about him, then go back for more.

 

What is it you're looking for by posting here? I don't understand, tbh.

[Wiseman2]

This doesn't seem like a guy who will ever make you feel good about yourself.

It's like he isn't turned on by me anymore.

[Siantulipgir]

You complain and complain about him, then go back for more.

 

What is it you're looking for by posting here? I don't understand, tbh.

 

Looking for advice and support. Him and I have all the same friends. So everyone just thinks it's so great that we are together or whatever you want to call it. And I know people here online will tell the truth not just what I want to hear. Feeling like even his sister who is suppose to be my good friend is so busy thinking him and I are cute that she isn't thinking about me.

[Siantulipgir]

This doesn't seem like a guy who will ever make you feel good about yourself.

 

Maybe you are right Wise because sometimes I feel like I've done something wrong to him. He will act angry at me out of the blue. Than he avoids me and says under his breath that he doesn't like me that much. I was feeling really good and excited about being with him last night until it came time for us to have intercourse. . He made me feel like I wasn't turning him on. Ughhh sorry to repeat myself.

[abitbroken]

Looking for advice and support. Him and I have all the same friends. So everyone just thinks it's so great that we are together or whatever you want to call it. And I know people here online will tell the truth not just what I want to hear. Feeling like even his sister who is suppose to be my good friend is so busy thinking him and I are cute that she isn't thinking about me.

 

My brothers friend always had a crush on my sister. She said NOPE NOPE NOPE -- it creeped her out that if they dated he would be confiding in my brother about their love life for advice. and there was a couple year age gap where my sister remembers the brother's friend being in diapers (my mom and his mom knew eachother so we knew the friend when he was a toddler and he is 4 years younger than my sister so she remembers him being diaper age). My brother really wanted it to happen so he and his best pal could be related.

 

Another update Really upset last night we decided to have sex again. We were fooling around and had oral sex and lots of touching. He was really turned on at that point and orgasmed. But when it came time for intercourse he had a hard time getting erect. It's like he isn't turned on by me anymore. He was able to get hard finally but lasted for like only a minute ughh. Guess I am getting what I deserve for even going there with him. Crying after being with him.

 

Could be a problem with premature ejaculation

 

Well everyone else his family and friends thinks he's just so lovable and a good guy. He has been coming home not staying out all night the last 2 weeks. Reassuring me not to worry when he does go places. Yeah I might be a ego boost to him idk. But if you read my latest update I am more confused than ever.

 

I have friends that are nice people -- but dating them is a different story. I had a guy friend i set up with a woman I know - and the date went really badly. He actually was a bit aloof and rude. If he didn't like her -- he could have had a nice time with good conversation and just not ask her out again. I apologized to her for sure. The date was weird. Totally not what i pictured from him,

[abitbroken]

This doesn't seem like a guy who will ever make you feel good about yourself.

 

this is VERY VERY important!!!

[Siantulipgir]

My brothers friend always had a crush on my sister. She said NOPE NOPE NOPE -- it creeped her out that if they dated he would be confiding in my brother about their love life for advice. and there was a couple year age gap where my sister remembers the brother's friend being in diapers (my mom and his mom knew eachother so we knew the friend when he was a toddler and he is 4 years younger than my sister so she remembers him being diaper age). My brother really wanted it to happen so he and his best pal could be related.

 

 

 

Could be a problem with premature ejaculation

 

 

 

I have friends that are nice people -- but dating them is a different story. I had a guy friend i set up with a woman I know - and the date went really badly. He actually was a bit aloof and rude. If he didn't like her -- he could have had a nice time with good conversation and just not ask her out again. I apologized to her for sure. The date was weird. Totally not what i pictured from him,

 

Your sister was really smart not getting involved with your Brothers friend. Wish I hada lisrened and note gotten involved with my friends brpther. His sister has salid tour me more than once are you ready to be my sister in law. She thinks it would be really cool I can tell ughhh..

 

Yeah maybe it's premature ejaculation or he's worried about pleasing me again. Because he couldn't get hard at first. And nothing had changed about me from the last time before that we had sex. Think he's taking it a different way. He's a 48 yrold guy he should know better.

 

Really wishing I had used my head. Because now I feel attached to him.

[Siantulipgir]

Sorry to be posting about every little thing. So now 'Ben" thinks he is not sexually attracted to me anymore. He said it last night under his breath. Ughhh. He kept talking to me for along time in the kitchen acting like he wanted me to come to his room. And this morning he woke up me for work and it was just the 2 of us in the house so I was sleeping topless. He stared at me for along time. Sorry if that is to much info. . And when he got ready to leave he gave me a really long hug and a kiss. So he's lying he still is attracted to me right? I mean we have only slept together twice.

 

I know I keep going back for more of his drama. He didn't stay out last night and hopefully he won't the whole week. have I done to myself.