How to deal with the fact that I will always be alone?

[Guest AndreiSmokey]

I am 27 years old, I never had a gf, I don't have any friends and I am unable to socialize with anyone. I do have a job, but it doesn't require any team work, so I can do it without mostly talking to anyone. Just normal greeting as I come to work is all that's needed ( I chose this type of job because of my inability to talk to people).

 

At this age, I have to accept that I am missing something to make anyone like me in nay way. I don't know what it is, but I am constantly ignored, with people even leaving and ignoring me halfway through a conversation. That happens A LOT, we just talk about something, and they just get up and leave. Now you can tell me that those people are s anyway, and while that may be true, not only do many people that are nice to others do that, but those that don't do it, still ignore me, just they they arent as rude about it.

 

The point is, I am completely unlikable for whatever reason, maybe because I am slow mentally and I am always confused because I don't understand what people want and just stay there not knowing what to do or say, maybe it's because I am awkward, I dont know, but it's how it is.

 

I have come to accept that I will never have friends or a gf, that things that are perfectly normal to the vast majority of people out there will always be out of my reach.

But I wish that my need for bonding or love would just go away and I don't know how to do to just get rid of that. I have my happy place at home, with videogame consoles, a nice TV, music and all that. And generally that was enough to make me happy. I would come back after a long day of being nervous or maybe even doing something humiliating, and I would have my games or movies to keep me company. Regardless of how people treat me in real life or how stupid I look for whatever reason, when I'm in my apartment no one judges me and I can be relaxed and enjoy myself.

 

The problem is that lately that is not always enough anymore and that worries me, because if I don't find this enough and I keep wanting human connection and sex and all that, then I will be very miserable since all those things are impossible for me to achieve.

Fortunately my so-called longing for this stuff is not permanent, I still have many days when I am fine doing what I'm doing, especially in the mornings, when I wake up, make myself breakfast and coffee, and watch an episode of Stargate SG-1 which I haven't seen in a long time, so going thru it again is like watching it for the first time.

 

Basically I think what bothers me is the fact that my natural instincts of human interaction are making me very depressed sometimes, and I wish they would just stop. I understand why they are there, because we are supposed to be social creatures, that have friends, love and stuff like that. But since I am incapable of any of that, they just end up hurting me.

I wish I would find a way to just never care about that stuff anymore.

[thealchemist]

Turning off basic human emotional needs isn't really possible.

 

Even if you can make yourself blind to them, you will experience secondary issues because of supressing them.

 

Kind of a lose-lose situation.

 

Are you seeing anyone about working on your social issues?

 

I don't think your fatalistic attitude will help.

 

We can always change things about ourselves with enough motivation.

[Lester]

"I have my happy place at home, with videogame consoles, a nice TV, music and all that."

- Nope, they are only making things worse.

 

Something bigger than yourself is pushing you to get involved in life.

You weren't made for the life you got yourself stuck in.

[Guest AndreiSmokey]

Something bigger than yourself is pushing you to get involved in life.

You weren't made for the life you got yourself stuck in.

What do you mean by that?

[thealchemist]

What do you mean by that?

Attempted evangelizing I believe.