kelley Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 I met a guy( whos real hot and i aint the prettiest) and right now we r friends but for the past month i have wanted to be more but i am afraid that if i tell him how i feel it might be negative and i dont want to ruin our friendship..but i feel if i dont tell him ill go crazy but i dont want 2 be rejected.....just the other day he asked me 2 help him wit a gurl i know but i didnt and he doesnt know i havent yet but he is starting to talk to her...iono what to do my friends say i should just go for it..but i dont want our friendship to stop if he says no..i dont know what to do ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Lowselfconfidence Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 i think you should just tell him how you feel one day. don't make it bold...just make it light and easy. i'm not sure but maybe something like "i really like talking and hanging out with you" and then go from there and then eventually spill the beans. good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ld25 Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Hi Kelley, I m almost in the same situation as urs, infact one step ahead as i admitted to him that i wanted more than friendship from him and i've to be honest with u, he is not even friendly with me anymore. I assumed that the friendship would still continue. But it isnt the case here. Im having a real tough time now bcos i miss him a lot. He's my best friend with whom I share everything that goes on in my life and now we are not even talking. I've been depressed about it and please beware if u r taking a step forward. Know his reactions before u tell him anything. Just like Mr.Lowselfconfidence suggested, u can put it accross lightly rather than being serious and blunt like me. Be prepared for the outcome though! Best Wishes! LD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alabama Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 If you think there is a chance to be with him, then take it! Just tell him and see what his reponse is. If he does say no, then be prepared for what is to come. Have confidence you'll get through it and know you'll succeed. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelley Posted April 28, 2005 Author Share Posted April 28, 2005 Thanks guys but i mean i think he might because i think he flirts wit me and we talk on the phone and we usually hang out once or twice a week ...i mean im not for sure he is 2 yrs older than me and he have a good time together...i just feel like i should sum way tell him....do u think it would b ok if i let a friend hint hint to him that i might like him?? help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Kelley, If you like someone you have to tell that person how you feel. Otherwise it will just drive you crazy or make you depressed. There's a chance you will be rejected, but if you don't say anything then you guarantee that you won't be together. If he's any kind of a friend then he won't let your friendship end because of this. If he does then he's not worth your time. And there's the chance that he could like you to and then you'll have exactly what you've been wanting. Virtually the same thing happened to me recently. A girl (same name, your not her right? ) started to like me but was afraid to ruin our friendship. One day she just told me that she liked me and it turned out that I liked her but was also afraid of hurting the friendship. Our friendship has only grown since then and we talking about being boyfriend/girlfriend. None of this would be happening if she hadn't spoken up. You should do the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelley Posted April 28, 2005 Author Share Posted April 28, 2005 ya i know what all u guys mean but right now he is kinda talkin to a gurl and i dont know what i should do it isnt like they been talkin for long he has came to me and said he does kinda like her ..but should i tell him soon or wait until i find out if he is gonna go out wit her?..that might b for a long time is isnt one of those guys who has a short relationship...most have been very long.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 How does the other girl feel about him? Are you good friends with her? If you are that makes it tricky because you don't want to interfere or hurt her by saying something to the guy. But you also can't be the one that gets hurt by default. I know this isn't the clearest advice, but follow your heart. Look at yourself and your feelings and decide if you like him enough to take a chance on telling him. Don't think about the other girl, think about you. Would you be able to handle it if you didn't tell him or is it something that you need to do? If you want to tell him, tell him. That's the only way to get this straightened out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelley Posted April 29, 2005 Author Share Posted April 29, 2005 I do know the girl but i wont really say were close friends i have a class wit her this semester...i dont really think she likes him in her own words she has told me that she thinks hes stuck up and is to good for her...i like her but i wouldnt want her to be mad but at the same time i think i should tell him how i feel i just dont know if i should while he is talkin to her...i think he could do better...she real sweet but i think it would drive me crazy keepin this in any longer but if i am sure if wouldnt b for the good i would try to control it and move on..which might b real hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallworld Posted April 29, 2005 Share Posted April 29, 2005 I was in your situation 11 years ago and managed to keep my feelings to myself for 4 years: link removed In my situation, it didn't work out. We're no longer friends. (My choice.) But I don't regret telling him. I had to do it for ME. Keeping it inside was killing me and like you I felt I had to tell him, because he was just beginning a relationship with someone. The door was closing and I knew if I didn't tell him, he could very well get married and never know how I really felt about him. If I had to do it again, I'd have told him A LOT sooner. Until I did I was constantly obsessing about him and what to do. I was hinging all my happiness on this one guy and felt if it didn't work out, I'd never be happy. I was emotionally closed to anyone who might have been better for me, because I was investing all my love and time on him. Please don't fall in the same trap. The h?ll you're feeling right now is actually much more painful than knowing the truth (which might actually be good news in your case.) Whatever you decide, do it for YOU, ok? You deserve to be happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelley Posted May 3, 2005 Author Share Posted May 3, 2005 i need help he took me and 2 of my friends to lunch and i had a note in there i had written to a friend bout how i like himand now i think i lost it in his car i told him i lost a note in there and not to look at it ...he promises but im scared he will look at it i didnt want him to find out this why i dunno what to do if he reads it should i just tell him all of it or should i say nuthin like say it was just a joke..or what...i dont really remember what all i wrote in the note...im soo scared... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ld25 Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Well Kelley, I think u should calm down and relax that the cat is out of the bag now..im sure u would be relieved soon....one way or the other...there's no point waiting with uncertainity... It's a good thing that this has happened....may be u can test the waters to see if he has read...if he has read it..im sure..his attitude and behaviour would slightly alter and if it's positive then u would know the result straight away... However, if he hasn't read it...and is too inquisitive abt it....u can just hint him saying that was a personal note abt someone who u liked very much...and if he's interested he would enquire more abt it and u can decide how much to let him know at that point... I would suggest...not to use the 'joke excuse'....u could save that for a rainy day...if things go out of control...atleast u could use that... Goodluck, LD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosierizzle Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 DON'T PANIC!!!! If he has read it look at it as a brill oppurtunity! You will finally know if he feels the same way! Telling him will make you feel so much better! You will have got it out of your system at last. And if he doesn't feel the same way at least now you will be able to move. Had he not found out you'd have spent ages wondering how things would have gone had you told and you would regret not telling him for a long time! And if he does love you then what have you got to complain about! The way I see it - it's a win-win situation! I'm not an expert and that might have helped, but then again, it might not have. Either way! Rosie Rizzle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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