Faith Commitment Action

[Batya33]

So now you know that he doesn’t do the “have to get to know someone for 2 years” before getting involved.(not verbatim but you posted a number of times about his preconditions to committing to someone) Maybe he meant it when he said it but obviously he hasn’t adhered to his requirements and conditions with this new woman. I’m glad you haven’t contacted him FWIW.

[IAmFCA]

So now you know that he doesn’t do the “have to get to know someone for 2 years” before getting involved.(not verbatim but you posted a number of times about his preconditions to committing to someone) Maybe he meant it when he said it but obviously he hasn’t adhered to his requirements and conditions with this new woman. I’m glad you haven’t contacted him FWIW.

 

Interesting - hadn't thought of that expressly. Anyway, no I don't know anything vis a vis the 2 year process. I don't know who she is/was nor if/why they broke up. For all we know, he wasn't ready to give the assurances she desired.

 

I am glad I am not replying. I feel like I understand him and wish I could make use of that appreciation in some way. You don't have an interest in someone for three years for no good reason.

 

Usually, that sensation finds a resolution along the way. Not this time, not that I can foresee. Right now, I need to protect my space and Slush is a threat. It is important that I maintain the boundary.

[IAmFCA]

Entering a new phase of homelife such that I no longer get any weekends home alone. This summer, I can envision two weekends that include at least one night when bf and I can wake up together. Two, until September.

 

A new challenge.

[IAmFCA]

Bf joined me for a wedding full of many friends and none of my own family. My friends fell in love with bf. He danced with my bff. Talked with people enough that I wandered in other directions for other friends. Held my hand. Eye contact - he gives intense eyes that I find so sexy.

 

And here's a funny line .. "we're not married yet" he said casually. Haha I

[IAmFCA]

Sold dad's car. It's weird how his presence left the car and stayed with me. It's weird how it's just a car to someone else.

[Batya33]

Sold dad's car. It's weird how his presence left the car and stayed with me. It's weird how it's just a car to someone else.

 

It's weird and so understandable too. It's a little like my ex boyfriend said about his father passing away -how he left his apartment building in the days after to see people walking/laughing/smiling and he thought how could they be just going about their business when this had happened. And yes he knew it wasn't "reality" -who cares.

[IAmFCA]

It's weird and so understandable too. It's a little like my ex boyfriend said about his father passing away -how he left his apartment building in the days after to see people walking/laughing/smiling and he thought how could they be just going about their business when this had happened. And yes he knew it wasn't "reality" -who cares.

 

Yes I know that feeling exactly.

 

So there I was all teary, did not see that coming. BF found a vending machine and bought me animal crackers. lol. Made me laugh. I like bf.

[Batya33]

Yes I know that feeling exactly.

 

So there I was all teary, did not see that coming. BF found a vending machine and bought me animal crackers. lol. Made me laugh. I like bf.

 

Wow - animal crackers! Keeper (unless he analyzed which animals you sampled first/bit the heads of off first, etc). Be very careful if next time it's oreos - try to find out in advance if he's a pull apart guy/cream side first, etc. You can do this.

[IAmFCA]

Wow - animal crackers! Keeper (unless he analyzed which animals you sampled first/bit the heads of off first, etc). Be very careful if next time it's oreos - try to find out in advance if he's a pull apart guy/cream side first, etc. You can do this.

 

Hahahahha just saw this.

 

The first one I grabbed out of the bag was a bunny. I ate it in one bite, causing him to feign shock and horror.

 

Keeper!

 

Now.... on to the oreo test. Very complex situation.

[Batya33]

Hahahahha just saw this.

 

The first one I grabbed out of the bag was a bunny. I ate it in one bite, causing him to feign shock and horror.

 

Keeper!

 

Now.... on to the oreo test. Very complex situation.

 

A la fatal attraction - bunny eater rather than bunny boiler??

 

Yes there is the oreo test for sure. And my two cents -if you do the pull apart method, who ever does the pulling should show good will by offering the creme side to his/her SO (I write cream not cream because we know it's not real cream). Now if he doesn't care for the creme that's a different issue entirely.

He passed the animal crackers test with flying colors - love the sense of humor.

 

May I share an off topic (off because it's not re: sharing food with a newish SO) but candy-related anecdote? My 9 year old son won a contest at camp today. He guessed the exact amount of tootsie rolls in the jar (!!) and won the entire jar. Well it's not off topic -your SO must win something for you at a county fair or at least the lottery. Within the next year on the outside.

[IAmFCA]

He says you have to eat the creme side first, "what if life ends in the next moment?"

 

And that he would buy two oreos, thereby side stepping the scarcity problem.

[Batya33]

He says you have to eat the creme side first, "what if life ends in the next moment?"

 

And that he would buy two oreos, thereby side stepping the scarcity problem.

 

Luckily it's usually a pack of 6 enough for a long weekend!

[IAmFCA]

Luckily it's usually a pack of 6 enough for a long weekend!

 

hashtag RelationshipSaved

[IAmFCA]

A few nights ago I had a weird, now-faded dream, in which slush and I had spent an evening over dinner, hanging out, just being friendly and vibey. Then at 11 through his back door strolls a woman carrying her dog, coming in to stay for the night with all the familiarity of a cozy gf. His look was one of shock, I simply exited with an “enjoy your evening”. Ignoring it as I think it mostly meaningless. Maybe there is something I need to do to resolve unfinished business? If so, I don’t know what.

 

Anyway, it was unexpected. Guess that sort of thing will happen from time to time. I haven’t seen him around; I have heard a few things, mostly of the demanding sports schedule. His kid is truly a phenom. When I think of him, if I do, it helps to remember how it just wasn’t quite right. If I met him again, though. would it be different? Yes of course. I wouldn’t be seeking his approval. He would be more tHan a a year out of his marriage and more avgailable. Still. It wasn’t right. Dang it felt close though.

[IAmFCA]

Growing an addiction to “crystallized” ginger chips. Ha, crystallized. Just say sugar.

 

What is the anti-inflammatory property of the ginger in comparison to the ginger itself? Is eating a whole bag a bad idea?

[Batya33]

Growing an addiction to “crystallized” ginger chips. Ha, crystallized. Just say sugar.

 

What is the anti-inflammatory property of the ginger in comparison to the ginger itself? Is eating a whole bag a bad idea?

 

Unfortunately I think the sugar outweighs the good stuff because isn't sugar inflammatory? I do yogi ginger tea with a little milk and sometimes fake sugar.

[IAmFCA]

Unfortunately I think the sugar outweighs the good stuff because isn't sugar inflammatory? I do yogi ginger tea with a little milk and sometimes fake sugar.

 

Surely you're right. I stopped at a reasonably indulgent amount... 😱

[Batya33]

Surely you're right. I stopped at a reasonably indulgent amount... 😱

 

I love ginger chews and remember googling in 2008 during my first trimester how much ginger could increase the risk of a miscarriage ((apparently ginger chews don’t contain that much lol). I do love ginger though! And sugar. And dark chocolate with ginger crystals. Sigh.

[IAmFCA]

Lately had Slush curiosity popping up again. I slow down, I hit the quiet time of nothing nobody just ahhhhhh and I have an urge to fill it with a text out to him, like Greetings from ___ (vaca). What's news in your world?

 

Whywhywhy I'd like to know. At this point, I feel so different than the me that wanted approval and solace. I always want solace because I am so terribly short of skill at being still... Even so. Maybe when I still myself, I think of him, his couch like Pavlov's lab, so that now stillness = Slush?

 

Oy. I tested myself last night, imagined in bfs absence could I have a lunch or some such. No, really can't. It's a waste of time that annoys me in its utter lack of purpose. I really enjoy seeing him, for it's own sake, but want so much more interaction from my mate than what he offers me. Even if that were okay it's that feeling of being encircled that I love/hate, rather than safety netted, that I love/love.

 

Why any thought at all. :I

[IAmFCA]

Sad. Elder teen feels threatened by bf presence in my life. Not about whether he is physically present. By his existence. At all. She recovered from this feeling once before, saying he's very kind etc but somehow his presence gives the impression that they aren't enough. Then bouncing the other way, saying she had been selfish, that isolating others isn't the way. I didn't expect the complete reversal back to threatened. I feel as if I shan't mention his name (in fact I hadn't; my younger teen did), include him ever, not even say that is who I am going out with when I go out, and in fact, then I am not going to say who I am going out with regardless of who it is - women or men alike.

 

Younger one, in tears last night, secretly. We were telling stories, and then it all stopped when she said bf name. Elder one: "Why was HE there?" Mind you, my female friend was in this story as well, apparently "family time" can exclude a family member and include everyone else except bf.

 

Younger one didn't get to tell a story. Everyone went to bed.

 

My bf makes such effort to be attentive from a distance, without imposing. He didn't impose. The sibling who was present had welcomed him his presence. The one who objected was out of town - with her friends and bf.

 

I just went to bed. I feel a part of me has closed off to her, and I must not do that. All the happiness in our house left with her reaction.

[IAmFCA]

Now, she says she's not threatened.

 

We are close. It would be good if I unwind myself a bit so that I can be unflappable. The truth is I would eat her alive if I were taking her on. But we haven't divided against each other. I would never do that to her. Also true, she is way out of line, assuming I am imposing on her sib, being off balance because we didn't run everything through her for approval. Also, I get exhausted pretty quickly. I can't stand this stuff.

 

Anyway. It will be fine eventually. I'm exhausted.

[IAmFCA]

Sigh, all better again.

 

But where ever did I put my wallet? Why have we not invented vacation from vacation. One day is not enough!

[IAmFCA]

Forgive me.

 

Recently wondered how a particular woman was a single mom, with kids younger than mine, on an expensive non profit board, in a visible position of social philanthropy, with a knock out figure and large house.

 

Oh. Recent divorce from a high profile professional.

 

I feel such pressure, even when I don't sense its presence, to be every archetype. Its no small thing. And it is all such fiction. And it isn't.

 

I am glad I am me.

[IAmFCA]

I am so unstable lately, as I am pulled closer by my kids and bearing more demands at work and pursuing some personal goals and just am feeling like I am running on the precipice of achievement with one sip of water left in my canteen.

 

Felt a little ... insecure? About the sustainability of my new thing. It feels so new, but I've dated men who at 4 months would feel stale. Anyway, I contacted slush; it was working on my quiet but hyperactive brain. Exchanged a few texts. Told bf. Hours of convo. Not about slush. Much broader, exploratory, interesting. I like so much that I can turn to him instead of hide. Kind of amazing, really.

[Batya33]

I am so unstable lately, as I am pulled closer by my kids and bearing more demands at work and pursuing some personal goals and just am feeling like I am running on the precipice of achievement with one sip of water left in my canteen.

 

Felt a little ... insecure? About the sustainability of my new thing. It feels so new, but I've dated men who at 4 months would feel stale. Anyway, I contacted slush; it was working on my quiet but hyperactive brain. Exchanged a few texts. Told bf. Hours of convo. Not about slush. Much broader, exploratory, interesting. I like so much that I can turn to him instead of hide. Kind of amazing, really.

 

He sounds very patient, tolerant and understanding.