So I read my wife's texts and found this out...

[abitbroken]

If your kid is on the same team as their kid - don't punish your kid by withdrawing them prematurely from the sport or activity. Let the season play out. Just don't see them socially like you did. If you all the sudden pulled your kid out in the middle of the season - it would be odd. If its a one on one playdate, then that's different -- but if its a school extracurricular, don't pull your kids out.

[abitbroken]

also, keep an eye on this. when your wife gets complacent again is where the problems are, not when she is laying it on thick because she was scared her husband wouldleave

[ChezIsAwsome]

OP here. I want to thank you all for the advice (what a great forum this). For the first time I felt 'not alone' in this relationship issue. It probably wouldn't have gone down as well with you. I mean it.

 

Ok so here's how it went down-

1) You guys were absolutely right about not confronting the other guy. Confronting his wife was a much better move!

2) You guys were again totally right about the texts. My wife didn't get mad at me at all, although she did get very defensive. I had the upper hand in the argument but she held her own actually. She did make it known to me about some areas where I'm lacking in the relationship regarding the kids (which I'm definitely going to improve!). I made it known to her that the little thing her and the other guy had is over and the badmouthing has to stop. She apologized about that 100%. She told me without a doubt she was not cheating on me, and I believe her. It really doesn't make sense. Wife2 agreed with that completely.

 

Then the conversation turned to our sex life (this is the biggest argument starter in our relationship without question). So she always makes excuses why it's so hard to have sex more often. I understand she's busy and tired on weeknights, but she puts sex way at the bottom of her priority list, even behind her DVR list. Even on weekends when she gets plenty of sleep and stays up later it's still tough to find a time with her to do it. So we're going to work on that as well. It basically ended with that. She gave me a kiss soon after she got home from work. We made plans for the rest of the night. I got the kids homework done and picked up dinner. She went out to the movies with Wife2. When she got back from the movie we just hung out in bed for around an hour talking. I noticed she was getting tired so she wasn't 100% into make up sex at that moment. I decided to hint a little harder that we should and it happened. This might get a little X-rated so if you want to keep reading it's up to you- Instead of the regular mundane 'let's-get-this-over-with' sex I wanted to really make her feel satisfied (with all the D-word flying around something in me wanted to do this). So we started our usual mish position and I made sure to really thrust hard upward on her g-spot over and over. I lowered my body position to elevate hers. After about 2 minutes of this she melted and became completely relaxed (orgasm1). Then she unexpectedly grabbed me and shoved her tongue in my mouth and said I love you, shirt came off and I got to play with those. Then pushed my head further down south for orgasm2. Then we went back to mish again and went to hard and faster and she got really into it "oh f*ck yea". I was surprised, usually it's quiet when we do it. Finished up and we both passed out after. It's really true that the best thing about fights is the make up sex.

 

For now this argument is totally squashed. I really hope our sex life can make a comeback. If not, I'm sure I'll be back here ;).

 

 

My wife did speak with wife2 at the movies and assured her there was nothing going on between her and husband2. I do believe my wife. I think she just got caught up in the situation a little bit but never intended to have an affair or anything like that. It was inappropriate extreme venting to the wrong person with inappropriate replies back by him (which wife2 agreed).

 

This morning, Wife2 asked me about more details of the conversations which I told her. Husband2 is definitely in the doghouse for a while which he deserves. Almost forgot to mention- husband2 also deleted the entire text history which really ticked off wife2. That to me tells you who knew they were mainly in the wrong.

 

Regardless of all that’s being said after that it makes me soo happy to hear all of this. I had a feeling that there was just a spark missing and she just was venting. Granted still shouldn’t have vented in that way but it’s good that you guys were able to talk it out and that you confronted her about it. Like I said the only time she would have a reason to be upset would be if you snooped and there was nothing there. Improvement in the sex life is also very good! Lack of sex and be really hard on relationships.. trust me I’ve been there left hanging and IM THE FEMALE lol smh but again. I’m happy to hear all of that. Hopefully things fully work out for you guys and your marriage.