Why am I sad after it’s ended with someone convenient?

[rubys]

I’ve been dating a guy for a few months. He’s a really great guy and we had a lot in common.

 

When we started dating, I wasn’t blown away by him, but I knew I liked him. We started getting to know each other more, and he told he eventually he wants to move away for work and I told him I wanted to stay in our current city long term.

 

We kind of brushed over that topic, but in the dates to come in the next few months we kept talking about it and cooling off our dating, then starting back up again etc.

 

We’ve now finally ended things for good because we’re just stuck in this circle, but I am irrationally very very sad.

 

Even though I knew all along we had different outlooks, we got on so well. I didn’t have that overwhelming love feeling though.

 

How is it that now it’s definitely over, someone who there was never going to be a future with is stuck in my head? I wasn’t exactly head over heels when we were dating, and now he fills my mind!

 

I just keep thinking about all the wonderful things that made us so similar, but I wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me, because all the way through our ‘relationship’ We never really got moving...just stuck in this circle of ‘let’s do this...no let’s not....’

 

Do you agree that I’m best to leave it...get him out of my head...and if his situation changes in the future, then readdress it??

[Keyman]

Yes, leave it both now and in the future. If you have both very different outlooks now, how do you think it will change in the future?

 

It was fun while it lasted, but like any drug, there is a withdrawl process to work through before you can fully move on. Just keep moving forward and it will pass.

[Pleasedonot5]

I just ended with a FWB I had over the past several months, and the loss (of physical contact, the conversation, intimacy, etc.) sucks even though I never had any feelings.

 

It's a part of loss, I think. What you are going through is normal.

[Batya33]

I think because the time apart gave you a different perspective -without being distracted by the potential long distance your mind and otherwise focused on the positives - it's possible with a little more space stronger feelings could have developed. I think if you'd had no real feelings for him you might have missed the routine of seeing him but it would have passed quickly and you'd mostly have felt relief. I would explore the feelings only if you two are up for trying again and you are ok with long distance.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately there was an impasse from the beginning and he built in an escape route but wanted to date locally. Yes, let it be and don't get over involved with unavailable people.

I’ve been dating a guy for a few months. he told he eventually he wants to move away for work and I told him I wanted to stay in our current city long term.