Insecure Boyfriend, Need some advice!

[Hollyj]

Think because he drowns me with gifts and his time and affection.. then fights start with me not saving photos of he and I in my favourites, going through each others social media, supposedly "devaluing our relationship"... I'm not being held against my will, just am scared to lose him, would see him and see things that reminded me of him and breakups suck right

 

You stay with this lunatic because he gives you gifts? The gifts are more important than your freedom and happiness? I do not understand?

 

Did you not have a life before this guy? I thought you argue everyday and he accuses you of many different things? I also thought he didn't trust you?

 

Did you not see your situation in this links I sent?

[Hollyj]

"f an attractive guy came a long I would take them. He also thinks I look at other guys, talk to them behind his back and that has caused me to always look at the ground whilst walking with him. He's a personal trainer, so we gym a lot together and he assumes I look at guys there and tries to catch me out. He also has interrogated me about my past heaps of times and tries to make sure I'm not some "s l u t" or anything which I'm not. But he asks graphic stuff about the guys I have been with and whether he has been the first for countless sexual things. I tell him that he is but he denies it and says I am probably into weird stuff too. He has been called ugly in the past and has been compared to his brother a lot by his family which puts him down. I always try and reassure him. When I am not with him which is rarely he asks for photo reassurance and I give it to him. We are also 10 years apart too. I went away for a month overseas and he was worried I would hook up with people on the tour bus etc... I stay so loyal to him and he still questions me. One time he accused me of smiling at a guy in the elevator even though I didn't. We have been fighting almost daily this whole month over my past, his issues and how he sees himself. I tell him he's the best out of everyone and he doesn't believe me. I am finding it very hard. He's recently said he wants to die, he's stressed at work because he stresses over what I'm up to. Its becoming a real struggle for me and I feel drained. "

 

You know that this not not normal or healthy. Right?

 

I agree with miss Canuck, he does not love or respect you. At all. The relationship is sick.

[boltnrun]

So how did it go when you told your family all the things he is saying and doing?

 

You did tell them...correct? You said you would.

[thorough]

Please tell me you left him. I dated a guy like this for a month and sometimes that still gives me nightmares. One time we were at the beach, I was watching people watching. He accused me of checking the guys out and got all upset. Everything was an accusation and after about 2 weeks not day went by where he didn't ask me if I was cheating on him. Texts were analyzed and overanalyzed, actions too, he was upset that I never had my phone on me despite me not needing it cause he was w/me. After spending a entire day w/him, I had to be on the phone w/him for 2-3 hours otherwise he thought I was losing interest. I couldn't ask for alone time or else he would get upset. When I broke up w/him, I was completely relieved. Rod yourself of this guy or else you will be living in a prison. This is more then anxiety, this guy has mental issues.

[Snny]

She doesn’t want to listen to anyone’s advice. At this point this all falls on her.

[LC8328]

Leave him. LEAVE HIM.

 

You: "Those people on ENA don't know what they're talking about."

 

Wrong! I once dated a guy who wasn't very tall and was quite thin. This made him insecure. He began to belittle my weight (which wasn't bad at the time) and said some pretty rude things to me. I ended it.

 

Almost 20 years later, from my dating experience with all kinds of people, I want to tell you that your relationship will never improve. It will be a cycle, getting a little better and making you feel really good, then plummeting right back down, and finally starting all over again. I guarantee this.

 

You love him, and I get that. But here is another awful truth: Love is NOT enough. There must also be respect (and honesty, among other things).

 

You came here for a reason, to ask us a question. Not trying to be rude, but I'm not going to beg you to listen and understand. You'll see the truth for yourself soon enough.

 

Good luck.