Jeffbobo Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I told him that the other day...which he didnt listen to. He still kept texting. I should just ignore him I guess. I'm scared that I might get sucked in to his drama again if I respond. 😳 This is why you block his number and any other means of communication. Erase everything, like previous texts that you're tempted to look at after blocking him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 Got it!! Thank you. I really appreciate your input. For now I need to just focus on working on myself. Superdave always said "if you do nothing, you won't make a mistake". Do your coaching, hit the gym, cut him off, and if he comes crawling back decide if you want him, and the conditions he needs to accept for that to happen. That should scare him off. There is a better man out there for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 I did that just now. I deleted his number and blocked him 😳 sigh! Feel sad but I do believe that nothing good ever goes away...so if they went away, it means they're no good for you. This is why you block his number and any other means of communication. Erase everything, like previous texts that you're tempted to look at after blocking him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayRay63 Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Now go to the gym! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 Hi RayRay! Thanks! I'm gonna go for a run tomorrow morning..☺ Now go to the gym! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayRay63 Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Well, if it helps, I'll be running up a hill tomorrow morning. Hopefully I'll think about this conversation instead of she-who-dumped-me. We all draw strength from one another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nano Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I second the cold short message if you do reply at all, no explanation needed cause he does NOT deserve it! Don’t provide him with closure. If you do want him back and if this can work, it’s not now, it’s not anytime soon cause nothing in him changed, so you could be back together and break up 2 weeks later again and it’ll hurt even more. You’ll feel exhausted! Let him go for now, it’s not like he’ll disappear off of the face of the earth, he’ll still be there if you both ever want to try again. I doubt you’ll want him back after the dust settles and you start seeing things clearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayRay63 Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Good words there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 Hope you're feeling alright too. Thank you you still had replied even if you're going thru your own healing. Well, if it helps, I'll be running up a hill tomorrow morning. Hopefully I'll think about this conversation instead of she-who-dumped-me. We all draw strength from one another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Thanks!! It's an awful feeling whenever I get a message from him telling me how hurt he is being hated by someone who used to love him. It makes me feel terrible. I thought he ended it. This guy is manipulative, immature and a complete waste of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Thank you. I'll think about that. I'm actually thinking also of not telling him at all. Just disappear without any explanation. I don't think he deserves a warning or an explanation. Maybe just disappearing would have greater impact? Like a rug was pulled from underneath him. Just block him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I did that just now. I deleted his number and blocked him 😳 sigh! Feel sad but I do believe that nothing good ever goes away...so if they went away, it means they're no good for you. Good!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 Yep. One of the reasons why I don't want to give him an explanation is to communicate to him that what he did is wrong. I never said anything hurtful and was never mean to him cause I was hanging on to my self respect as well as my dignity and I guess a part of me has also given up. I did everything I could to save the relationship and if there's anyone who needs to prove himself, it would be him. I accepted the break up gracefully (I think he was expecting me to chase). I think my silence will speak volumes. And yes...when the dust settles, I am hoping to find myself not wanting to get back with him anymore. I second the cold short message if you do reply at all, no explanation needed cause he does NOT deserve it! Don’t provide him with closure. If you do want him back and if this can work, it’s not now, it’s not anytime soon cause nothing in him changed, so you could be back together and break up 2 weeks later again and it’ll hurt even more. You’ll feel exhausted! Let him go for now, it’s not like he’ll disappear off of the face of the earth, he’ll still be there if you both ever want to try again. I doubt you’ll want him back after the dust settles and you start seeing things clearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 He did. Isn't it just confusing and crazy?! I was scratching my head when I got that message. He was the one who wanted it. I think he was expecting me to still be there for him or to chase him. I've been indifferent towards him since the breakup...he probably wasnt expecting that. And yea, he'll get an even bigger surprise once he notices I cut him off completely. I thought he ended it. This guy is manipulative, immature and a complete waste of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 Thank you, Holly!👍 Good!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 How long were you together? There wasn't much future prospective if he lacked the maturity to be honest with Ma and let her know his lady was several years older than him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 We were together 2 years. When I told him I didn't want to be friends he said "Please remember me fondly"; "Please remember how I almost gave up everything for you" ; "I chose my family and I'm choosing to walk away and stop loving you" Ugh!! He made it sound like he was doing something very noble. I didn't react to these messages he sent. How long were you together? There wasn't much future prospective if he lacked the maturity to be honest with Ma and let her know his lady was several years older than him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Thank you. I'll think about that. I'm actually thinking also of not telling him at all. Just disappear without any explanation. I don't think he deserves a warning or an explanation. Maybe just disappearing would have greater impact? Like a rug was pulled from underneath him. I vote for disappearing as sending "any" message only keeps the drama going. I do understand why he continues to text though; I bet it's hard for him too, he misses you. So try to not "beat him up" too much. He is so young, his mom didn't approve and he succumbed to social pressure due to age difference. I just read you blocked and deleted, yeah that's best. Gets lots of exercise, go for a run! It increases endorphins and will get you high, lol. I am going on one now with my dog. Good luck and feel better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nano Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 You know when we are hurt we imagine it’s only us that is hurting and that is in pain and we think because they wronged us they must not care, they never cared! But that’s not true. Don’t sell yourself short. You don’t date someone for two years and not care about them. It’s really our ego talk and our strive to become so righteous above all that feeds us those damaging lies. If you read my thread you’ll see how easy it is for me to call my ex such horrible things and make myself so small like he never cared, but then if we put ourselves in their shoes we begin to understand. He didn’t have your upbringing, your education, your experiences, your friendships... maybe his entire view of the world is so vastly different than yours. It’s his consciousness that led him to behave in those hurtful ways but I don’t think he was ever set to hurt you on purpose. Pressure from family, from his circle of friends, and just where he is at his life play a huge role. He wasn’t strong like you are... he wanted to be a man and be strong but he couldn’t so now he’s hurt and confused too. I think the solution to any heart break is grieving, forgiveness and no contact. NC can seem like punishment at the time but it’s the most merciful thing you can do for not just you, but him as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 So difficult. This rollercoaster ride is driving me crazy. It's a good thing that I didn't do or say anything so yep, I didn't beat him up too much and respected his decision and wished him well. I miss him. I really do. His parents are very controlling and I told him I understand them too as parents. I never said anything against them but I told him, "You have to learn to stand up for the things you want sooner or later cause you're the one who's going to live with the consequences of those choices." I guess that would be enough. Thank you for your input.😭 I vote for disappearing as sending "any" message only keeps the drama going. I do understand why he continues to text though; I bet it's hard for him too, he misses you. So try to not "beat him up" too much. He is so young, his mom didn't approve and he succumbed to social pressure due to age difference. I just read you blocked and deleted, yeah that's best. Gets lots of exercise, go for a run! It increases endorphins and will get you high, lol. I am going on one now with my dog. Good luck and feel better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 I took a nap and woke up feeling horrible. I want so much to be there for him and I know I shouldn't. It goes against my nature but I know this is the best display of love I can do not just for myself but for him too...letting him go and giving him what he wants. I need to really let go even of the hope that maybe in the future he would be braver..holding on to this hope is not healthy. I can only see obstacles. 😳 I need to align my heart with my mind. My heart says "I still love him" and my mind says "Enough" Sorry that sounded really pathetic. These are things I couldn't tell anyone. 😭 You know when we are hurt we imagine it’s only us that is hurting and that is in pain and we think because they wronged us they must not care, they never cared! But that’s not true. Don’t sell yourself short. You don’t date someone for two years and not care about them. It’s really our ego talk and our strive to become so righteous above all that feeds us those damaging lies. If you read my thread you’ll see how easy it is for me to call my ex such horrible things and make myself so small like he never cared, but then if we put ourselves in their shoes we begin to understand. He didn’t have your upbringing, your education, your experiences, your friendships... maybe his entire view of the world is so vastly different than yours. It’s his consciousness that led him to behave in those hurtful ways but I don’t think he was ever set to hurt you on purpose. Pressure from family, from his circle of friends, and just where he is at his life play a huge role. He wasn’t strong like you are... he wanted to be a man and be strong but he couldn’t so now he’s hurt and confused too. I think the solution to any heart break is grieving, forgiveness and no contact. NC can seem like punishment at the time but it’s the most merciful thing you can do for not just you, but him as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nano Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 I took a nap and woke up feeling horrible. I want so much to be there for him and I know I shouldn't. It goes against my nature but I know this is the best display of love I can do not just for myself but for him too...letting him go and giving him what he wants. I need to really let go even of the hope that maybe in the future he would be braver..holding on to this hope is not healthy. I can only see obstacles. 😳 I need to align my heart with my mind. My heart says "I still love him" and my mind says "Enough" Sorry that sounded really pathetic. These are things I couldn't tell anyone. 😭 Don’t feel pathetic. I know exactly what you’re going through as I’m going through it too... it’s like a battle everyday with your knowledge and common sense, random thoughts that creep up and intense feelings you don’t see coming! Even on a good day I could end up randomly crying as I’m brushing my teeth. We just gotta get through the motions and day by day... it’s definitely testing of our character. My ex is already dating so soon after our breakup and I saw their pictures on social media and I felt 100,000 needles poke my chest, and now I’m reading more about how I can learn to be happy for him. My feelings are still sucking life out of me, but it’s going to get better... and they won’t forget us even if they “move on”. Stay strong. Talking on here helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 So sorry to hear that. That must've been rough to see. How long has it been since the BU? If you don't mind me asking. I hope you also feel better soon. I wish relationships are not as complicated so that no one has to experience pain like this. I tried to entertain a guy who has been asking me out for the longest time, but when he kept asking where I was every hour and when I said I have a busy month at work he said.."does that mean you won't have time for me" I felt smothered and I was really turned off so I told him I can't go out just yet. Can't deal with someone needy when I don't have anything to give at the moment 😬Too soon I guess. Trying my best to find who I am again. Thank you...really appreciate your inputs. Don’t feel pathetic. I know exactly what you’re going through as I’m going through it too... it’s like a battle everyday with your knowledge and common sense, random thoughts that creep up and intense feelings you don’t see coming! Even on a good day I could end up randomly crying as I’m brushing my teeth. We just gotta get through the motions and day by day... it’s definitely testing of our character. My ex is already dating so soon after our breakup and I saw their pictures on social media and I felt 100,000 needles poke my chest, and now I’m readinþg more about how I can learn to be happy for him. My feelings are still sucking life out of me, but it’s going to get better... and they won’t forget us even if they “move on”. Stay strong. Talking on here helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayRay63 Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 I tried to entertain a guy who has been asking me out for the longest time, but when he kept asking where I was every hour and when I said I have a busy month at work he said.."does that mean you won't have time for me" I felt smothered and I was really turned off so I told him I can't go out just yet. Can't deal with someone needy when I don't have anything to give at the moment 😬Too soon I guess. If I was that guy I would appreciate being told that its too soon after a break-up for you - the busy at work thing sounds like a brush off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveFound Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 I was just telling him my schedule was gonna be busy, it was his reaction that turned me off. So I told him that I think it's too early for me to date since I'm getting over a break up. But I don't think I'll be going out with him even if I recover. I felt smothered when he asked me every hour where I was and he wasn't even my bf yet😳 If I was that guy I would appreciate being told that its too soon after a break-up for you - the busy at work thing sounds like a brush off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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