phoenixlyza7 Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 I recieved an email from him stating that he will not pay my bills anymore bec he is running short on cash. I find that hard to believe; he is doing well financially and he can afford to shop expensive clothes and take his mistress out on holidays. I think he just wanted attention. I stopped contact with him since May last yr for my peace of mind. Even if i dont reply, he still sends me nonsense/breadcrumb emails every now and then, and lengthy messages during my bday and christmas. I never replied bec judging from the mistress’ social media, they are still very much together. Should i take his email seriously? Or does he just want attention? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shessofly Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Why is he paying your bills? Is this some sort of court order? Your best course of action with a true narcissist is to sever all ties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Sorry to hear this. What is the separation agreement regarding bills? Has he seen an attorney? Perhaps it would be best to consult an attorney, draw up a separation agreement and then file for divorce. This way you can go through the attorney and not have to communicate with him. Do not scan his or his new gfs social media. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Unless there is a court order making him pay, sounds to me like he is actually moving on and disconnecting from you. It's a not so subtle way of him telling you that he is done and that you need to be paying your own bills and living on your own going forward. Sorry I know this stings like heck. If there is a court order where he has to pay x amount, then forward his e-mail to your lawyer and let them address it. If it's just a voluntary thing he has been doing, he can cut you off any time he wants to. If you haven't even filed for divorce yet, probably a good time to get on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight925 Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 Here's the thing: he probably receives "fuel" from your upset when he tells you he can't pay for things, and he has his girlfriend (not his mistress, as you are divorced) put stuff on social media, and he likely knows that you can see it and it upsets you. We can speculate about all of the above till the cows come home, but the question now is a legal one: What is he legally required to pay now? Certain bills, or a set amount each month, etc.? That is all you need to worry about. As for the rest of the stuff....his girlfriend (again, not his mistress, as you are now divorced), his social media, his texts.....is garbage. Block and delete. Don't view either of their social media. Just focus on whether he's living up to his legal responsibilities, as defined in your divorce decree. If he is not, then type him a pointed email and print it out so that you have it. If he does not comply, then forward that email and his response (or note his lack of response) to your attorney. This is all you need to worry about right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenixlyza7 Posted February 22, 2018 Author Share Posted February 22, 2018 Why is he paying your bills? Is this some sort of court order? Your best course of action with a true narcissist is to sever all ties. Sorry. Technically we are still married. He does not want to undergo legal separation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenixlyza7 Posted February 22, 2018 Author Share Posted February 22, 2018 Here's the thing: he probably receives "fuel" from your upset when he tells you he can't pay for things, and he has his girlfriend (not his mistress, as you are divorced) put stuff on social media, and he likely knows that you can see it and it upsets you. We can speculate about all of the above till the cows come home, but the question now is a legal one: What is he legally required to pay now? Certain bills, or a set amount each month, etc.? That is all you need to worry about. As for the rest of the stuff....his girlfriend (again, not his mistress, as you are now divorced), his social media, his texts.....is garbage. Block and delete. Don't view either of their social media. Just focus on whether he's living up to his legal responsibilities, as defined in your divorce decree. If he is not, then type him a pointed email and print it out so that you have it. If he does not comply, then forward that email and his response (or note his lack of response) to your attorney. This is all you need to worry about right now. Sorry. Technically we are still married. He would cooperate for a legal separation. He is being a brat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Sorry. Technically we are still married. He does not want to undergo legal separation. In that case time for you to get the best lawyer in town. If he is really a narcissist, it's going to be a rough ride getting rid of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shessofly Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Ok - you're separated for some time now? Are you unable to pay your own bills? Why haven't you filed for divorce or at the very least initiated legal separation? He still has control over you as long as you're being "kept" by him. I'm sure he likes it that way if he really is a narcissist. This guy has been cheating on you for at least a few years now. What is your end goal here? I would sever ties, even if it means living meagerly for awhile until I got on my feet. However, if you want him to keep paying your bills and have no plan to make any of this legal I guess you are at his mercy? Has he been diagnosed with NPD or is that just what you say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelsea54 Posted February 23, 2018 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Him resisting the legal separation and/or divorce ——if he is a narc—is probably due to how he thinks that would make him appear. If you legally reject him and force the divorce on him—he will fight like hell to give you nothing to peanuts. Stick to your guns and get your alimony legally and then channel it thru your state. In the meantime, you are in jeaopardy of him leaving you penniless and spending his $ on the girlfriend. So currently he has two women hinging in what he decides to give them. What a huge supply for his narc ego! You DO realize that some attorneys can win you the right to make HIM pay for your attorney fees? You don’t want him back—correct? Finalize it for him and get divorced. Move on with your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.