extremelyred Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 I've been with my boyfriend on and off, we have a 14 year difference in age. He wants to live together and a family, but isnt officially divorced and has 2 kids already and is kind of a deadbeat. I love him and want to be together but I want his divorce finalized and him to be more involved with his current kids but he acts like its impossible for him but I know its not. I don't want to break his heart but I feel like it won't work out, I just don't know what to say because we've already been together this long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Tell him what you told us - you can't continue a relationship with someone who is still legally married and not an active father in his kids' lives. Why does he say it's impossible to divorce? How long has he been separated from his wife? And why does he claim it's impossible to be a better dad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Sorry to hear this is happening. Why is it on/off? How long have you been dating? Trust your instincts. This is all wrong and it would be best to end it.He wants to live together and a family, but isnt officially divorced and has 2 kids already and is kind of a deadbeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyMayPorter Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 You called your boyfriend "kind of a deadbeat". You shouldn't be dating "kind of a deadbeat". How long have you been together, and how many times have you been on and off? Not being with my daughter's father, I have to tell you, it's not hard to be active in your kid's lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 You don't know what to say? Simply, "This isn't working for me." It doesn't matter if you've been together for 20 years. People get their hearts broken all the time, but you can't sacrifice your own happiness for someone else. If you're not happy in the present, that's all you need to know. Sticking around for someone to change is not how you wisely choose and stay with a partner. Choose someone you don't want to change, and your life will be a lot easier and happier. The larger the age gap, the higher failure/divorce rate. When the age gap is 20 years, there is a 95 percent divorce rate. You're gap is close to that. Loving someone isn't enough to ensure a satisfying relationship. Write down a must-haves list and a dealbreaker list and stick to it moving forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 If he's a deadbeat, he'll get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 I can see why this will never work out - 14 year age difference, deadbeat and married. A pretty bad combination right off the bat. I can't understand WHY you would even choose a deadbeat as a partner in the first place. Not working out? Tell the truth: "sorry, it's just not working out for me". Simple as that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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