Carus Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Your attitude is good and you're well on the way. I will say though that we all go through the thinking that they're off and all fine. I know l did and then as you saw, I wasn't exactly right. I'm sure she'll be fine though.... Of course our exes think about us quite frequently actually, but that is not really worth thinking about because even if they think about us all day long, at the end of the day the end result is still the same. Keep it movin' buddy. You're doin' great. Good on you for keeping up with your work...very important. I don't know where things will go with Jess but it has brought some well needed light relief :) Funnily enough my ex made a comment on someones FB post last night. She refferred to me as "Someone I know....". Ha! Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Doing good here Sputnik Big hello to you mate!!!!!!!!!! How are things down under? We finally have some sun here in Michigan... 45-F... wow that's warm since it's been the bitter cold the last few weeks... I am sooooo ready to give up winter.... hahaha... Hey Mikey, Great to hear from you. I'm in the U.K.. but trust me, we are still heavily immersed in Winter too! I hope you have great weekend plans ;) S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Thanks Carus. Just got home from a 12 hour shift. Was very busy so Only thought about the ex about half the time. Weekends suck cuz Im constantly thinking shes prob about getting drunk and hooking up with guys. Not that its any of my business now but that seems to be the type of girl she has become. I came across a quote today that said “I dont hate you. I hate that youve become everything you said you never would.” That explains my feelings pretty well right now. Another day survived tho I guess. Ive given up and thrown in the towel on us ever getting back together. There is no way I could take her back as much as Id want to. Too much has changed and I could never act accordingly. Not that she has any interest anyways. Im sure I dont even cross her mind anymore. Hope she finds what shes looking for. And I hope I do the same. Was uplifting to read your good fortune brother! Im a firm believer in the balance of life. And youve been through a lot of this longer then I have this go around. Perhaps its time for your positive balance. I got a feeling I still have some more bad to get thru. But knowing eventually my “good” is ahead keeps me pushing forward. Hey Makeit, As the wonderful *Carus says, you are now thinking all the right things. All you need to do is keep it chugging forward and you will reach your destination! We are all with you on this journey x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted January 27, 2018 Author Share Posted January 27, 2018 Your attitude is good and you're well on the way. I will say though that we all go through the thinking that they're off and all fine. I know l did and then as you saw, I wasn't exactly right. I'm sure she'll be fine though.... Of course our exes think about us quite frequently actually, but that is not really worth thinking about because even if they think about us all day long, at the end of the day the end result is still the same. Keep it movin' buddy. You're doin' great. Good on you for keeping up with your work...very important. I don't know where things will go with Jess but it has brought some well needed light relief :) Funnily enough my ex made a comment on someones FB post last night. She refferred to me as "Someone I know....". Ha! Carus* “Someone I know” wow. Id guess my ex would say smething similiar. They didnt deserve us man. They really didnt. And we deserve better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted January 27, 2018 Author Share Posted January 27, 2018 8:47 here. It seems I usually wake up with thoughts of the ex around this time. Sometimes earlier. No dreams yet altho Ill fall back to sleep here shortly. Actually felt like I went to sleep in a decent mindset. But thats never the case when I wake up. Seems like the more time that passes that Im not thinking about her the harder it hits when I do. I guess thats just my mind doing everything it can to not let go. Oh the Irony of the battle. Im off work today and will have my daughter. She always makes me laugh and brings me happiness. I do my best to not let her see me down. Its difficult with my lack of energy tho. Also makes me mad that my ex is effecting me so much. Coming up on 20 days NC. According to everything Ive read im about halfway into making some progress. Im yearning for that feeling of indifference towards her. But of course Im not there yet. I still think, hate, and miss her throughout the day. Sometimes I just cant fathom how people can just walk out of someones life after years together. But thats the norm in these situations. They say True love is when you want someone to be as happy as you are and selfish Love is you just loving how that person makes/made YOU feel when you were with them. I ponder this because I def dont wish my ex is happy. Maybe I am a selfish lover? Maybe Im just in the stage of anger. I dont know. Knowing shes looking for someone new or has maybe found someone new just really kills me. The best girl in the world could pass me by right now and I wouldnt even bat an eye. Sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Hard to wish an ex well in the initial burn of the breakup...but one day you will. I will say this though, if you still love and care about that person, it hurts like hell to hear they're not doing well either...as in my case. This also makes it more confusing. But still, nothing I can do and I'm sure she'll be fine. "Someone I know..." , well at least she was thinking about me in that moment...lol Proud of you Makeit* Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 Another day down. Spent most of the day with my daughter. Went to chuckee cheese. Pretty much went through the motions in a fog. Always try my best to keep the spirits up around her. To make maters worse I feel like Im coming down with a virus. Prob from lack of quality sleep. After I put my daughter to sleep I did my ritual soul searching and researching. Read some articles on how bad of a time it is to be in relationships these days. I often wonder where I would be if this was the 1970s haha. Seems everyone gets the GIG syndrome now and with social media girls just unlock their profiles and wait for all the guys to hit on them. Its really pathetic. Makes me wonder if there are any good women out there. Kinda sucks being a guy in this age whos looking for an actuall loving relationship. I continue to be bombarded on this online dating site I joined by these women Id never consider in my life. I know this probably makes me sound like a superficial jerk but Its actually making me more depressed. Not that it matters I am in no place to date anyone right now. All in all its making me wonder if falling in love again is even worth the pain. Another depressing day but im still here. Counting the days. Looking forward to a positive entry from me here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 It's ok Makeit. I'm right there with you today. That fog. That void. But good on you for spending time with your daughter. She really needs that. Sadly I have to agree with you about relationships...at least in my experience. We all want love and companionship but as a species we seem to have gotten worse with it, not better. Well I'm off to drift through another 12 hour work day. Sorry I don't have anything inspiring for you today. I'm in a dip. We'll get through this buddy. Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey383 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Hey Mikey, Great to hear from you. I'm in the U.K.. but trust me, we are still heavily immersed in Winter too! I hope you have great weekend plans ;) S Sputnik.... I apologize... I seriously thought you were down under... But hey on the good side: My Grandfather flew for a Polish Squadron of the RAF in WW2.... I was actually born in Poland and we left in the 80's when things got dangerous... We moved to W.Germany (At that time) and lived in Munich for 2.5 years... Finally in 86 we arrived in the US... Been a fun ride ever since... :) I could seriously write a book on everything I have been through.... Immigration, learning new languages, relationships, marriage, divorce, more crazy relationships, dealing with narcissistic x's.... Serving in the US military, going to war, dealing with war, serving with coalition forces in Iraq and Afghanistan...etc... Life can be wonderful and yet so cruel... Like I told Carus... I can get shot and wounded and of course it hurts... But nothing hurts like a broken heart... Cheers buddy... Keep it going... Mikey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey383 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Another day down. Spent most of the day with my daughter. Went to chuckee cheese. Pretty much went through the motions in a fog. Always try my best to keep the spirits up around her. To make maters worse I feel like Im coming down with a virus. Prob from lack of quality sleep. After I put my daughter to sleep I did my ritual soul searching and researching. Read some articles on how bad of a time it is to be in relationships these days. I often wonder where I would be if this was the 1970s haha. Seems everyone gets the GIG syndrome now and with social media girls just unlock their profiles and wait for all the guys to hit on them. Its really pathetic. Makes me wonder if there are any good women out there. Kinda sucks being a guy in this age whos looking for an actuall loving relationship. I continue to be bombarded on this online dating site I joined by these women Id never consider in my life. I know this probably makes me sound like a superficial jerk but Its actually making me more depressed. Not that it matters I am in no place to date anyone right now. All in all its making me wonder if falling in love again is even worth the pain. Another depressing day but im still here. Counting the days. Looking forward to a positive entry from me here. Makeit Hello from North of you buddy... FYI: You are not superficial.... We are all selective... And on top of it, after a long term relationship, we tend to compare... Trust me, you are normal... I was in the same boat... I took time after my narcissist EX left me for the second time... I took time to heal and to be selective... My EX jumped on someone within the first 3 weeks... Not that he is any better looking than me....Nope... He looks by far worse...haha... But that he has a supply of things she likes to feed her ego and to suck off him as she did with me... Soon the poor fella will be in the same spot as I was... I however took time and became selective... Trust me... I went on a dating site and I was bombarded with women I would not date... It depressed me as well... However I pushed through and met my current GF... She is not perfect... No one is... However, she is by far better than my EX... (I wont write a book on here with comparisons), I can only say she is way better... So, just take your time... It is NOT a race or a rally.... You are not a NASCAR driver or a dating Olympian.... Take your time... Let things follow through naturally... And DO plenty of screening... Screen, screen and screen.... You will hit jackpot eventually... It is easier for women to date men rather than men dating women... My current GF showed me what sort of men are on those sites... If you are a decent guy, you have a good chance... Some of those guys are outcasts... Social weirdo's.... Trust me, my GF is a good looking girl... So once I contacted her, she saw me as a good potential mate... However she was love bombed by 100's of weirdo's... So it works if you got it together... Also, that is a reason why some women are on those sites for ever.... Cuz they are picky and they hope to find that one.... So, they are screening us as well.... So do screen... Don't be desperate.... Now I know why my EX jumped on the winner she is with... (not that it bugs me) and I am just using it as an example to prove how things work.... He is completely not her type... However she had it good with me... And on top of it she is a narcissist... So she def did not go for looks... She went for his wallet... Cuz with narc's, they have to do better each time to fill their ego and their supply.... At least with me she had both (looks and someone that has his life in order)... This guy obviously has the wallet... Soon she will deplete him and drop him... And on to the next one.... Won't be too long before she pings me...haha... Cuz narc's always come back... And I know she has been busy keeping tabs on me... Take care and talk soon Mikey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted January 29, 2018 Author Share Posted January 29, 2018 Ok todays update. Yesterday came and went. Spent the afternoon at work and then laid in bed pretty much the rest of the evening. Overall the day wasnt as painful as the past few. No setbacks or Triggers aside from my own thoughts. I keep dreading any interaction with co workers that may bring her up. I do not need that right now. I even left work a little early to avoid a few ppl that may bring her up as apparently her new lifestyle is everyones topic of convo. I found myself reflecting on a relationship from 15 years ago when I was a young 20 year old. I thought she was the one. We were together for 3 years. She was a great girl. Married now and just had her first child. I cant help but wish that one would have worked out. I think Ive hit on a pattern of after 3-4 years all my worthy relationships end up walking away. I think I should try and figure out what about myself causes this. Had a few dreams last night. One about the ex. Dont remember too much about it. I also had some dreams that didnt involve her. Its crazy how carefree and happy I am at that time. I dont even recognize my real life situation in them. Then of course I wake up to reality. Today is day 21 of NC. Not sure what stage I am at now. Id say mostly anger/depression. Ive accepted the relationship is over but Im not at acceptance stage yet if that makes any sense. Not looking forward to Valentines day. Gonna be a ruff one. Again Looking forward to the universe giving me some kind of positive balance. With several of you seeming to get some if that lately I cant wait to report something/anything other then my continued posts of grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Hey Makeit* Thanks for the post. Coupla thoughts from me: ....then laid in bed pretty much the rest of the evening. Bad Makeit* ~ *wagging finger*.....lol I know though, sometimes that's all we can do....But you have to force yourself to do things. I live at the beach and it's the height of summer and I have to force myself to go to the beach...How crazy is that!?? I think Ive hit on a pattern of after 3-4 years all my worthy relationships end up walking away. I think I should try and figure out what about myself causes this. Exactly the same here...Average 3-4 years and then they leave...I've never been the one to leave yet the common denominator in all those relationships....is me. Some things I've reflected on in recent years is: ~ Putting the girl on a pedestal and believing I have to do all I can to make her happy. ~ Avoiding conflict. ~ Having an underlying belief/fear that the relationship will end at some point ~ Having an anxious attachment style. Do some of those resonate with you? Most of that comes from our early relationships with our caregivers so unfortunately it's pretty ingrained in our core and is hard to change...I'm doing better these days but if I look at my marriage I can see where I started to slip back into old habits again. Again Looking forward to the universe giving me some kind of positive balance. With several of you seeming to get some if that lately I cant wait to report something/anything other then my continued posts of grief. Don't worry about posting about your grieving...It's really important you get it down on...um...'paper'? And it will take as long as it takes....I started my journal in November and I'm possibly about almost halfway there....Frustrating but I am feeling slightly better most days now... Protect your income and job...It will make it (pun) a lot worse if you lose that* Ever Forward Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted January 29, 2018 Author Share Posted January 29, 2018 All of those resonate with me. Especially the fear of them leaving me. Ive gotten that right away before but most of the time it comes later on in the relationships. With my recent Ex she was quite a bit younger then me. So I always had my doubts. In the beginning it was just for fun and then somewhere along the line I fell in love. When I met her I was about a year out of a breakup with my childs mom which also wrecked me. For awhile I thought id never get those feelings again until....I did. Then I knew I was in trouble. My ex softened me up tho. We talked about kids and marriage and used to post each other houses ect. She really got me to drink the kool aid. Then gone. Tomorrow I am going to force myself to atleast go out and do something that USED to bring me much joy. Im gonna go to the shooting range. Trying my best to focus on my work. As Ive said before I have a big oppurtunity come July. Thank god this didnt happen then. Hopefully bu July Ill be much better.....hopefully. Miss her so much today. But I could never get back with her even if she wanted. Id be a mess. Knowing that I think hurts even worse. Off to work just trying to fake it till I MakeIt 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brookew17 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 All of those resonate with me. Especially the fear of them leaving me. Ive gotten that right away before but most of the time it comes later on in the relationships. With my recent Ex she was quite a bit younger then me. So I always had my doubts. In the beginning it was just for fun and then somewhere along the line I fell in love. When I met her I was about a year out of a breakup with my childs mom which also wrecked me. For awhile I thought id never get those feelings again until....I did. Then I knew I was in trouble. My ex softened me up tho. We talked about kids and marriage and used to post each other houses ect. She really got me to drink the kool aid. Then gone. Tomorrow I am going to force myself to atleast go out and do something that USED to bring me much joy. Im gonna go to the shooting range. Trying my best to focus on my work. As Ive said before I have a big oppurtunity come July. Thank god this didnt happen then. Hopefully bu July Ill be much better.....hopefully. Miss her so much today. But I could never get back with her even if she wanted. Id be a mess. Knowing that I think hurts even worse. Off to work just trying to fake it till I MakeIt It's good that you realize you couldn't get back with her even if she wanted that. You would be a mess. That's where I'm at with my ex. Day 7 no contact. He came over A week ago for a few hours and while it felt great at the time. The next day I was drenched in sadness and hurt Bc I realiZed nothing had changed. Too much time had passed and there's nothing but hurt surrounding him. It's too late and it will never be the same. So I told him I had to move on. And he never even responded. But that's okay. My point is, I think you would find that if you got back with your ex, it would hurt you worse. I definitely think you are making progress, I can see that in that last quote alone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted January 29, 2018 Author Share Posted January 29, 2018 Hey Makeit* Thanks for the post. Coupla thoughts from me: Bad Makeit* ~ *wagging finger*.....lol I know though, sometimes that's all we can do....But you have to force yourself to do things. I live at the beach and it's the height of summer and I have to force myself to go to the beach...How crazy is that!?? Exactly the same here...Average 3-4 years and then they leave...I've never been the one to leave yet the common denominator in all those relationships....is me. Some things I've reflected on in recent years is: ~ Putting the girl on a pedestal and believing I have to do all I can to make her happy. ~ Avoiding conflict. ~ Having an underlying belief/fear that the relationship will end at some point ~ Having an anxious attachment style. Do some of those resonate with you? Most of that comes from our early relationships with our caregivers so unfortunately it's pretty ingrained in our core and is hard to change...I'm doing better these days but if I look at my marriage I can see where I started to slip back into old habits again. Don't worry about posting about your grieving...It's really important you get it down on...um...'paper'? And it will take as long as it takes....I started my journal in November and I'm possibly about almost halfway there....Frustrating but I am feeling slightly better most days now... Protect your income and job...It will make it (pun) a lot worse if you lose that* Ever Forward Carus* It's good that you realize you couldn't get back with her even if she wanted that. You would be a mess. That's where I'm at with my ex. Day 7 no contact. He came over A week ago for a few hours and while it felt great at the time. The next day I was drenched in sadness and hurt Bc I realiZed nothing had changed. Too much time had passed and there's nothing but hurt surrounding him. It's too late and it will never be the same. So I told him I had to move on. And he never even responded. But that's okay. My point is, I think you would find that if you got back with your ex, it would hurt you worse. I definitely think you are making progress, I can see that in that last quote alone! Yeah we actually got back together after a month BU in Oct. At that time I felt like the reasons for the BU were worth trying again but after this one she basically said the ole I love you but Im not in love with you bit which was drastically different from the reasons of the first Bu. Hearing that I could never been confident in a 3rd attempt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey383 Posted January 29, 2018 Share Posted January 29, 2018 Yeah we actually got back together after a month BU in Oct. At that time I felt like the reasons for the BU were worth trying again but after this one she basically said the ole I love you but Im not in love with you bit which was drastically different from the reasons of the first Bu. Hearing that I could never been confident in a 3rd attempt. Makeit The ILU but not ILWU is a BS lie... It is a sheepish excuse... That is because they are hurt and want you to feel it.... However down deep they are ILWU.... Think of it as punishment....That's all... If they were not...They would not come back... Head games that carry over..... Hang in there. Mikey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted January 30, 2018 Author Share Posted January 30, 2018 Yeah I mean at this point I dont put too much credit into anything she said. Looking back when we were together before the first split there was a bunch of red flags that I missed leading to the Bu. Like I said before I was drinking the kool aid and let myself get complacent. But you know what. Im not gonna sit here and give 1000% effort constantly to someone forever. There comes a point when I shouldnt have to be constantly having my SO in my head. I have a job and a daughter and my own interests and if having that caused her to loose interest or let her friends talk her into leaving me then so be it. Most attractive woman these days have tons of dudes constantly hitting on them and all these options on social media. The modern sub 30yo female it seeems can pick and choose and try out all these guys and us real men who are Loyal are left to just try and fend off the barrage. It really is sad. What really hurts is at first atleast she seemed to be different. She seemed to have good morals to her. Now shes just another attention freak whos guy crazy and prances around on social media looking for attention and getting drunk with her ty friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 hey Makeit, Boy, those damned reg flags.. they were literally EVERYWHERE near the end of my relationship! " I have a job and a daughter and my own interests and if having that caused her to loose interest or let her friends talk her into leaving me then so be it." - That also sounds very similar to me. I was fighting for custody of my son for 2 years, I win.. then a month later my ex-gf walks out of my life! "What really hurts is at first atleast she seemed to be different. She seemed to have good morals to her. Now shes just another attention freak whos guy crazy and prances around on social media looking for attention and getting drunk with her ty friends." - Wow, also very similar! We could have good drink over this! lol You are in the right place here bud :) x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted January 31, 2018 Author Share Posted January 31, 2018 Hey gang. Just an update. Not too much to report. Spent work last night in a danger zone mostly hid in my office and overheard the exs name dropped a few times. Tried to just block it out. Something about her going on a vacation. She sure is living it up. Meanwhile In my screwed up life I managed to catch a flu virus so on top of the emotional turmoil I am battling a physical ailment. Woooo! Life! I just gotta shake my head and laugh sometimes. Its times like this where I question some all loving god lol. Been having dreams of the ex past few nights. Dont really remember them and they dont wreeck me when I wake up as much. Just kinda used to them I guess. Off work today and will have my daughter after school. These are my good days where I dont have to worry about any setbacks working with certain employees ect. Looking forward to my location change in July. Ive decided to give one positive on my updates from now on starting today. As hard as they are to find lol. Todays positive. My bank account is stacking up with money. I havent spent any money on the ex or on myself besides the bare min. Paying off some CC and hoarding cash. Thank goodness my fiscal life is in order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted January 31, 2018 Share Posted January 31, 2018 That is great news Buddy. Financial worries are up there in the top 3 of stressors in our lives. Keep stacking though. Perhaps we'll see you here in July when Piaresss is comin' over ;-) I think it's great to include at least one positive into each post if you can. Similar to my grateful lists. I want anyone who reads our threads now or in the future to see how we recover from the ashes* You're a good man and father Makeit* Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted February 1, 2018 Author Share Posted February 1, 2018 Day 24 NC. Approaching the 1 month mark. Yippy... Not a lot to report today. Have a long work day and have a cold bug so im even more run down then usual. Valentines day is approaching. Not looking forward to that day at all. In fact Im dreading it. Im confident I wont do anything stupid in breaking any form of NC but I know its just going to be a horrible day. For some reason I keep dwelling on what I am going to say if She ever tries to contact me. My thoughts seem to go from a very cold response to an angry one. Been watching a lot of Corey Wayne videos. The knowledge he shares gives me a temp boost at times. Counting down the days till I get thru this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Hi Makeit, Firstly, well done on the 24 Days No Contact.. Proud of you. I know you are probably fed up with hearing this.. but it DOES get easier. I recently did 60 days strict NC and the 2nd half of it was considerably easier than the first (even incl xmas and NY period). I only responded to a message about her family and been back in NC since. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it keeps you sane and moving forward. Many people here will be dreading Valentines Day, but in all seriousness, it is the most pointless day in the calendar! "For some reason I keep dwelling on what I am going to say if She ever tries to contact me. My thoughts seem to go from a very cold response to an angry one. " This is good.. but even better, don't send one at all ;) We are all here for you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted February 1, 2018 Author Share Posted February 1, 2018 Hi Makeit, Firstly, well done on the 24 Days No Contact.. Proud of you. I know you are probably fed up with hearing this.. but it DOES get easier. I recently did 60 days strict NC and the 2nd half of it was considerably easier than the first (even incl xmas and NY period). I only responded to a message about her family and been back in NC since. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it keeps you sane and moving forward. Many people here will be dreading Valentines Day, but in all seriousness, it is the most pointless day in the calendar! "For some reason I keep dwelling on what I am going to say if She ever tries to contact me. My thoughts seem to go from a very cold response to an angry one. " This is good.. but even better, don't send one at all ;) We are all here for you x TY brother. I think back to the first week of the BU and I have to agree that I am not as uch of a mess now so yes I see some progress. Good to hear the second month is better for you. I try and think back to the healing of past Breakups and its hard to recollect the process. Maybe my brain has shut it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Hey Makeit, I guess each break-up is different, but the best/only way of dealing with it and healing is strict NC :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted February 3, 2018 Author Share Posted February 3, 2018 Some light at the end of the tunnel? Well today at work I found myself laughing a bit. Moving with a bit more energy. Reading into some of my hobbies and making some plans on my schedule for the upcoming month. If I had to guess I only thought about my ex for about half of the day. Free from any setbacks or triggers. Tomorrow will be day 26 of NC. Some footnotes. No im not healed. Mornings still suck. I still think about her and it makes my heart drop. I can however shut my brain off quickly usually. Im sure I will have to deal with a setback at some point. I will overhear something but I can say that Im having days I would classify as “good days” in the grand scheme of things. My brain is processing some reasons for the BU. Im seeing more and more why things didnt work. In a way Im not blaming myself as much. I know that Im still holding on somewhat tho. I am not near a place of indifference yet. I can say I am progressing tho without a doubt. This feels good. Bring on the setbacks and bad days. I know they will come but I also know its part of the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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