IAmFCA Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Distance is the variable here. When I was dating someone who was accessible only by airplane, we agreed to a don't ask don't tell policy, and we were serious about each other. It wasn't always easy but it made sense and allowed us to be as casual or as reckless as we felt like being. And we each could break up with the other if we felt one of us was using poor judgment etc. Other people never ever became an issue, because we always felt primary to the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Excellent point:two dates and he feels the need to come clean? Two dates? Imagine what he will reveal on date 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 @figureitout He felt the need to "come clean" after two dates because the OP "asked" him if he had been intimate with anyone else. At first he said no, then two days later he "came clean" and told her the truth. Yes he lied at first, which I don't condone at all, but after thinking on it and realizing OP was someone he sees himself possibly becoming serious with, he wanted to "come clean" and answer her question HONESTLY. He could have just continued the lie, which a "player" or a guy who didn't give a crap probably would have done. But because OP asked, and again because he sees her as someone to become serious with, he wanted to tell her the TRUTH. I hardly think he would have just offered the info had she not asked. It's all in her original post! I suggest you go back and read it again before you start assuming things and assigning qualities to him that have zero basis in reality. And by the way, aren't YOU the one constantly screaming that it's up to the man to disclose to a woman that he's dating or sexually active with other women? Now you're faulting him for doing just that even when OP specifically asked. SMH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 My beef with this dude is not necessarily that he is having sex with someone else, which may be understandable after only 2 dates (but not so much if sex happened during those 2 dates, I'm not sure if OP mentioned that and I missed it), it is mostly with the fact that he goes MIA on weekends. We know he has a booty call and we know he doesn't contact OP on weekends...we know that booty calls don't usually last all weekend long (I'm assuming she's local to him)...so then why is he not contacting the OP on weekends? This is where my suspicions come from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 My beef with this dude is not necessarily that he is having sex with someone else, which may be understandable after only 2 dates (but not so much if sex happened during those 2 dates, I'm not sure if OP mentioned that and I missed it), it is mostly with the fact that he goes MIA on weekends. We know he has a booty call and we know he doesn't contact OP on weekends...we know that booty calls don't usually last all weekend long (I'm assuming she's local to him)...so then why is he not contacting the OP on weekends? This is where my suspicions come from. OP called it "MIA," I call it him being busy (with friends, family or whatever) on the weekends; again people are forgetting they have only had two dates and not exclusive. If she's stressing out because a guy she's only had two dates with doesn't contact her for a couple of days, she's way too invested and needs to lower her expectations. Not to mention get busy herself on the weekends so she's not overthinking things. As I said too, IF, as they continue to date, and become exclusive, he continues to disappear on weekends, then she can re-think things. But IMO, it's WAY too early for all this stressing out because a guy she's had two dates with doesn't contact her for a couple of days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahVV Posted January 24, 2018 Author Share Posted January 24, 2018 @figureitout He felt the need to "come clean" after two dates because the OP "asked" him if he had been intimate with anyone else. At first he said no, then two days later he "came clean" and told her the truth. Yes he lied at first, which I don't condone at all, but after thinking on it and realizing OP was someone he sees himself possibly becoming serious with, he wanted to "come clean" and answer her question HONESTLY. He could have just continued the lie, which a "player" or a guy who didn't give a crap probably would have done. But because OP asked, and again because he sees her as someone to become serious with, he wanted to tell her the TRUTH. I hardly think he would have just offered the info had she not asked. It's all in her original post! I suggest you go back and read it again before you start assuming things and assigning qualities to him that have zero basis in reality. And by the way, aren't YOU the one constantly screaming that it's up to the man to disclose to a woman that he's dating or sexually active with other women? Now you're faulting him for doing just that even when OP specifically asked. SMH Thank you Katrina!! Thats exactly it. "Wiseman" might need to check himself out and give himself a new more appropriate name!!1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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