Been having sex with my ex for almost a year, can i still use NC now?

[Jibralta]

What are some ways to show my ex that I'm no longer going to be his little puppet anymore and that I've moved on?

 

There's only one way: Move on and don't look back. Fake it til you make it.

 

You can't stick around and expect him to think you've moved on. Nobody in his position would believe you because it doesn't make sense.

 

For your own sake, you need to realize that "no contact" isn't a manipulation tactic. Its purpose is to help you heal and move on with your life. If you're doing it to get your ex to do what you want him to do, you're just making things harder for yourself.

[lmao123]

You misunderstand what No Contact is about. It's not meant to make your ex realize what he lost; it's meant to help you detach and move on.

 

At this point, he will probably miss the sex. I don't think he's necessarily going to miss being with you, given that it's been a year and you two have not reconciled. When you see him in public, you can be civil and say hello but don't bother having a chat or flirting. It's not complicated at all. You are complicating it because you are still in love with him and have a hard time saying no to him, but it's not a complex situation.

 

Why did you break up to begin with?

 

I just get so nervous everytime i'm near him now its crazy. I seriously cant stop thinking about him and its driving me insane.

We broke up because he was the type of guy to not show affection (as i was his first girlfriend) and he's not use to showing affection. He would show affection in other ways

Anyways, I just got fed up and i broke up with him while I was drunk and that was it. We never really had our proper closure.

We also had this major issue which affected our relationship because my previous ex before my current ex was abit crazy and was really threatening to my current ex... he would call him every single day and he hacked my emails to get his contact number and my uber for his address... it was insane.

That's why my current ex and i were really low key and honestly, i was talking to my previous ex on the side to calm him down. I did not cheat on my ex what so ever, but he probably thinks i did and when i recently had that talk with my ex about me wanting to get back he told me 'even though i don't show that stuff hurts you know'.

I dont know, our relationship is really complicated. I feel like he does have some sort of affection but he just know it's not a good idea.

He's not a playboy or play with girls or goes sleeping around, so that is why I'm extra confused and i just dont know anymore... Me and him have really good chemistry and we have such a strong connection and i feel like that my ex thing just drove both of us insane.

[lmao123]

If you keep doing what you are doing (having sex without being a couple) you are going to keep getting the same result (being used as a sex buddy until he finds someone he actually wants a relationship with, at which point you will be dropped).

 

If you do no contact he may or may not miss the sex. That means that there is a chance that he might come around but it would be on rocky ground and if the reasons for breaking up still exist you would break up again. Or he may not come back at all.

 

Regardless, using nc as a tactic to get someone back does not work in the long-term if the dumper has emotionally moved on and/or the causes of the break up still exist. There are no guarantees regarding getting back using nc.

 

However, if you keep doing what you are doing (having no strings sex with him) you are never getting back together anyway i.e. the chances of getting back together are very few but still higher if you STOP having no strings attached sex with him and go no contact.

 

But if he does contact me drunk or whatever one day because he miss the sex what should i do? should i respond to him?

Ive never dealt with an actual break ups before because previously i could easily move on from my previous exes but this time its different...

I still have no intention of seeing, talking or sleeping with another guy besides my ex.

I just want to stop thinking about him and move on but i can't... and the other half of me also want him back...

[catfeeder]

Been having sex with my ex for almost a year, can i still use NC now?

 

Use it for what?

[Ziggy123]

You can't move on because you keep seeing him and sleeping with him. Once you stop that you will slowly start to feel better. You really only have 2 options, because you can't change him or what he wants. 1. Continue sleeping with him hoping he will change his mind about being with you (he wont) and keep hurting or 2. Go no contact and it will hurt a lot at first but it will slowly get better and you will get over him and the love you had for him will slowly fade away. And in time you will be able to move on and meet someone who is better for You, who shows their feelings and who loves you back and wants to be with you.