inspiration Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 I cry when darkness falls// the glow of the street light isn't enough// the street through my heart turns into a narrow, empty, dark hall// I said I loved you, and I thought I heard an echo, "I can't get enough" thought we were in love// but it was merely a game of chance// now when i take the time// to consider all the variables that could end a youthful shot at romance// can't say i'll be surprised in the morning// if you are here with me// can't say i'll be surprised tonight// if you leave the darkness without me// because I hide my tears till you're inside// then my heart pours on the street below// one day, when my narrow heart opens... i'll be able to say that wasn't an echo. bored thought i'd give something a shot. i have an explanation for it all but i wonder if any of you can interpret it. comments? thanks -adam ( ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belinda Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Nice poem. Though I think the lines coud be broken up a bit more, into smaller stanzas, its still very nice. Im not sure what.. but for some reason a few of the lines arnt flowing all that nicely. Hmm maybe because it doesnt rhyme, yet a few lines do and it ruins the structure. That being said, I actually adored the emotion you put into you piece. It was truley beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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