How can I tell a woman I don't want to ejaculate during sex without her being offended?

[mustlovedogs]

I saw you can double up if you’re worried weight is an issue.

[ironpony]

Does doubling up work? You mean take two pills instead of one?

[abitbroken]

If you used a condom and it did not break, then do not force her to take a pill. I think you have to do some educating yourself, some abstaining for awhile, etc. Wait to get to know someone a longer period of time.

[ironpony]

Okay thanks. I just thought maybe the condom perhaps got some spirm inside her since it came off and rolled up.

[figureitout23]

No, if the period ended 2 days ago she is already on day 7 or 8 of her cycle, assuming a period lasts for about 5 days. Sperm can stay alive inside a women for a couple of days, so 2 days after menstruation ended may start to get dangerous, yes.

 

Ah I see what you mean, those are all possibilities but I just really feel it's on the side of extreme caution. I just don't think there's any reason to beat on the guy for not knowing about a slim possibility. The phone apps err on the side of caution as well, which is all fine and good, no harm no foul, let's just be honest about the possibility of her ending up pregnant, which while there, is pretty darn low looking at the facts

 

Well she says I didn't really came and it was more like a dry orgasm, which I guess it was. Sometimes I have dry orgasms, and this was one of them technically, which I didn't really explain much before. But I feel it's still better to be safe then sorry.

 

Case in point ^

 

I'm on the girls side on this one and the plan B pill is a very controversial thing, that goes against many people's beliefs, I don't know, I think that's something to be discussed ahead of time, then again that's not how horny humans work 😉

[ironpony]

Case in point for what, that it will not work for her if she is over 175? What about doubling up on the pills which was suggested before?

[figureitout23]

Case in point for what, that it will not work for her if she is over 175? What about doubling up on the pills which was suggested before?

 

No referencing your dry orgasm

[ironpony]

Yeah sorry I didn't reference it but I was more worried about there still being some spirm in the condom perhaps, even so.

[figureitout23]

Yeah sorry I didn't reference it but I was more worried about there still being some spirm in the condom perhaps, even so.

 

Pony, again, nothing is 100% but abstinence, although the odds of her being pregnant are slim, nothing is 100% but abstinence. If you can't handle that fact you should probably refrain from sex until you can, your methods now clearly aren't working for you.

[ironpony]

Well I wouldn't be as worried if the condom hadn't of come off. So do I need smaller condoms then, if they sometimes come off when I go flaccid?

[mustlovedogs]

Well I wouldn't be as worried if the condom hadn't of come off. So do I need smaller condoms then, if they sometimes come off when I go flaccid?

 

YES yes yes. The advice has said that numerous times.

[ironpony]

Yep thanks, you're right I will try that. So if I loose the erection then, temporarily and want it to get it back up, it's normal for the condom to stay on even if I go small, and need to get back hard?

[Pleasedonot5]

(in the moment) "hey I want to finish on [area]" and then do it... I've never had someone get offended at that

[ironpony]

like what area, the chest?

[Giblesp]

You can check the condom just before ejaculating, then hold the base while ejaculating inside of her.

 

Or simply ejaculate outside of her with the condom on if you want to minimize risks.

 

Remember, its your body and she must accept what you decide. You wouldn't 'talk a woman,' into letting you ejaculate inside of her, even with a condom on. That's obviously controlling and borderline abusive. When its the woman to the man, society has difficulty applying the same rules.

 

You must be clear with her to accept where your at. If she can't do that then she must go.

[Pleasedonot5]

like what area, the chest?

I mean wherever you want haha

[Jibralta]

The fact is there are thousands upon thousand upon thousands of pull-out babies roaming this earth.

 

Both of my friend's children are pull-out babies!!

 

Ironpony, don't permit yourself to be pressured into doing something that you don't want to do. If you are unable to stand up for yourself, then the only 100% effective solution is to abstain from sex, and perhaps even avoid situations that lead to sex. Most especially, avoid people who don't respect your boundaries.

[ThatwasThen]

Well I wouldn't be as worried if the condom hadn't of come off. So do I need smaller condoms then, if they sometimes come off when I go flaccid?

 

Are you staying inside of her for an extended period of time after you've ejaculated? You should remove yourself soon afterwards and always hold onto the end of the condom while you are removing yourself regardless of whether or not you have ejaculated/cum.

[ironpony]

Both of my friend's children are pull-out babies!!

 

Ironpony, don't permit yourself to be pressured into doing something that you don't want to do. If you are unable to stand up for yourself, then the only 100% effective solution is to abstain from sex, and perhaps even avoid situations that lead to sex. Most especially, avoid people who don't respect your boundaries.

 

Okay thanks, but I am pulling out with the condom on. Were your friends with had children, pull out while wearing condoms?

 

Are you staying inside of her for an extended period of time after you've ejaculated? You should remove yourself soon afterwards and always hold onto the end of the condom while you are removing yourself regardless of whether or not you have ejaculated/cum.

 

No as soon as I was done ejaculating, I pulled out right after. I mean I had to take a few seconds to regain my composure but like four seconds. I tried to grab the end of the condom at the base, but it had already come off.

[thealchemist]

I never realized the complexity of condoms.

[figureitout23]

No as soon as I was done ejaculating, I pulled out right after. I mean I had to take a few seconds to regain my composure but like four seconds. I tried to grab the end of the condom at the base, but it had already come off.

 

You didn't ejaculate!!! And how did it come off while you were still inside? Did it slip off before?

 

If that's the case they are way too big, if it's slipping and sliding on a erect penis that should be your sign it's too loose.

 

I think at the end of the day, your odds of pregnancy are slim. Lesson learned right?

[ironpony]

My penis wasn't erect though. It got small while i was having sex (not sure why), so I pulled out to take a break, as maybe I just needed a break. But then the condom came off then, while it was not erect.

 

I had sex again since then, but was very careful. I took the condom after, and noticed that there still is some semen on the inside, even if I don't ejaculate, so I am shellshocked now.

[firelily]

I think if you were to be in a long term relationship, like years long, before marriage/being ready for kids stuff, it would be really good for your sexual life and relationship intimacy to be able to come in a woman without anxiety. I mean all kinds of -jobs and pulling out are fine times too, but I wonder if it possible to have a healthy many years long relationship when two people can't lose themselves in each other and just enjoy the moment without worrying about pregnancy every time during sex. I think the long term solution would be finding the right protection method(s) and getting comfortable with it. But your relationship is still pretty new so it's understandable that you're anxious about pregnancy.

[Lola2210]

I think you have some anxiety maybe around the whole pregnancy thing. As another poster mentioned the only 100% guarantee is not having sex at all.

 

Although you should never be pressured into doing something you don't want to do, this is likely to continue to cause issues in your relationship.

 

Have you thought about doing some research into birth control yourself to gain some facts and perhaps become more comfortable with the whole thing. Some women even use the rhythm method as a form of BC. It is actually a myth that a woman can get pregnant at any point during her cycle so maybe familiarize yourself with this, include your partner in your research and you may both reach a point of understanding together.

 

Having read your posts I do recommend you do some research yourself, a lot of your questions are quite alarming to read for someone who is sexually active IMO.

[glitterfingers]

Some women even use the rhythm method as a form of BC. It is actually a myth that a woman can get pregnant at any point during her cycle

 

Sorry, but this is terrible advice.

 

Sure, a woman can't get pregnant at just any random time throughout her cycle. BUT her cycle can become irregular all of a sudden for no particular reason, meaning that ovulation could occur earlier or later than predicted. You probably also didn't know that some women can in fact get pregnant from sex during menstruation - simply because it's not possible to predict how soon afterwards she will begin ovulating again. Even if someone has regular periods, there is always the potential for them to be disrupted for a plethora of reasons, including stress or whatever

 

Fundamental rule of biology is that it's messy, complex and oftentimes unpredictable.

 

USE PRECAUTION if you want to be safe.

 

OP, just be firm about your wants/needs from the start. I agree that it would be unfortunate for you to have hangups about sex that you can't find a work-around for, but if this is something that causes you a lot of stress, then just do what you need to do