New year, new dates

[rubys]

My ex and I broke up at the end of September. We’d been living together for two years, but his career overtook our relationship, he’s a freelance classical musician, and he was away a lot. Touring all over the country and the world, some months he’d be home for 25 days, others he’d be home for 4 days. He LOVED his lifestyle but I found it too much. I felt like he needed to compromise his work a bit to make our relationship work, but he wasn’t willing to because, as I’ve come to realise, his career and passion give him a satisfaction in life that a girlfriend can’t compete with. We came to s mutual decision to end things, he moved out, and although I miss him a lot, I don’t feel too bad because I know the decision was the right one for my future.

 

I joined an online dating app, and I met someone on there a few days ago who seems like a nice person and I’m interested in meeting him for a coffee. We planned to go next week.

 

I am really looking forward to meeting this guy, but since I agreed, I’ve starfed feeling really guilty. Guilty about moving on from my ex (although he may well have already moved on too!) and guilty for thinking about my ex when I’m meeting a new person.

 

Is this natural when you break up with someone? I guess for the last three years I thought my future would go in one direction, and perhaps it’s not quite sunk in that it’s not yet?

 

I don’t want to sit around thinking ‘am I ready to date yet?’ With my ex controlling my actions, without his knowledge.

 

Thanks

[Wiseman2]

You are doing the right thing. You dissolved your relationship mutually after much consideration. It's ok to feel like things are new and different. It's just coffee, the first steps toward moving on.

I joined an online dating app, and I met someone on there a few days ago who seems like a nice person and I’m interested in meeting him for a coffee. We planned to go next week.

[DanZee]

You're thinking about this too much. You were dumped. End of story. Go have a nice time with this new guy.