Will this feeling ever end?

[Morello]

Whenever I think about contacting my ex, I just remember how I felt when I reached out with a friendly message after a few months only to be ignored. Felt like crap. Don't wanna feel like that again. Ever. Don't wanna be as stupid as chasing someone who wouldn't use a second of their day thinking of me.

 

Try to think similarly!

[sputnik123]

Ow wow, that's a long day Bee :)

 

Yes, delete everything that is a reminder.. it really helps in the long run!

 

Have a great Friday.

 

Well done so far! x

[Carus]

Lots of love from Indonesia BB*

 

Yes those triggers will pop out here and there for a while. Well done on deleting it, that took strength*

 

Carus*

[Bumblebee093]

Thank you guys. It's been a little harder recently as everyone from work has kinda worked out that we are not together and it's just the same old questions "oh no what happened". "You was so good together" "I thought you was getting married" and it's just exhausting having to explain that things just happen and If it's ok, could we not talk about it as it's still raw. Then there are some people that somehow ... idk how. Keep asking me when the wedding is.. that one is like a stab to the heart and stomach. It's like a reminder of what's happened and I have to explain and go through nearly crying infront of them.

 

The amount of people coming up to me today and just keep asking if I'm ok and how am I getting along, I understand that they care and they want to know but it's just the way they say it, it almost sounds .. fake? And when you get asked that everyday, by at least 10 different staff members it drains you. And then they start to change the way they act around me, all I want is people to just treat it as if I fell out with my friend. Joke with me still, talk about your partner with me, do everything that we normally did cause now it feels as if something is really not normal and I just want things to feel normal.

[sputnik123]

hey Bee,

 

That's perfectly normal to feel that way you do.

 

As soon as everyone knows, then it stops and you can move on from it

 

Any exciting weekend plans?

 

S x

[Carus]

As soon as everyone knows, then it stops and you can move on from it

Ha! Ain't that the truth..!

 

My favorite is "Call me whenever you need to...", which for most people translates into "And you can talk to my answering machine.." lol

 

But people mean well I guess...

 

It is good though to have at least 1 (or 2) good friends who really are there for you when you need them.

 

I know you're going through the "I don't wanna talk about it" stage and it is common for a lot of people to just sweep it under the rug and 'get on with it'..... But I also want to see you really learn something from this, build emotional strength, and heal properly for the long term.

 

Still, everyone goes at their own pace and perhaps you WILL just be over it in a couple of weeks. I hope so. Don't be like me lol :-/

 

Hugs for BB*

Carus*

[Bumblebee093]

Hey S and C!

 

Yeah I think everyone knows now but even today someone gave me a pat on the head ... literally o.o

 

Not really. I was working today and I've brought some pamper stuff to have a nice long soak in the bath tomorrow . Im thinking, wine, bath, a movie and a facemak. Such a typical girl hah

 

I understand where you're coming from

Carus! I have one really close friend that lives just up the road. I do have other close friends from uni but they are dotted all over the UK/World so it's hard to go see them when I feel low.

 

I know this will be a bumpy road. I think me making sure I'm busy helps and also talking to friends and family also help.

 

 

How about you guys, doing anything exciting?

 

B. X

[Carus]

How about you guys, doing anything exciting?

Have you not read my thread? ;-)

 

I guess it depends on what you call exciting.....

 

:-)

[Bumblebee093]

I'll read it now

 

I guess anything that doesn't involve being sad is exciting at the moment

 

 

Xx

[Carus]

I guess anything that doesn't involve being sad is exciting at the moment

Oh. Well then perhaps don't read it :)

[Bumblebee093]

I will read it :). I want to be able to give you as much support as you have given me!

[Carus]

Thanks BB* - Better get a nice cup of coco ready. It's quite a read!

 

Could almost be a book really lol

 

But hey, it's better than TV. :)

 

Hope you're having a good day today*

 

Carus* x

[sputnik123]

Hey S and C!

 

Yeah I think everyone knows now but even today someone gave me a pat on the head ... literally o.o

 

Not really. I was working today and I've brought some pamper stuff to have a nice long soak in the bath tomorrow Im thinking, wine, bath, a movie and a facemak. Such a typical girl hah

 

I understand where you're coming from

Carus! I have one really close friend that lives just up the road. I do have other close friends from uni but they are dotted all over the UK/World so it's hard to go see them when I feel low.

 

I know this will be a bumpy road. I think me making sure I'm busy helps and also talking to friends and family also help.

 

 

How about you guys, doing anything exciting?

 

B. X

 

Hey Bee,

 

Oh wow, a pat on the head, really? Oh dear..

 

Hope you having a relaxing day!

 

"I think me making sure I'm busy helps and also talking to friends and family also help". - That is definitely on the right track!

 

Will be updating the "Journal" soon.. Carus's D and N is a great read

 

S x

[Bumblebee093]

Not sure why a pat on the head 😂 But whatever aha

 

So far I'm relaxed. Ive changed my bedsheets, best feeling in the world when you have fresh, crisp sheets on. I've been wondering a lot on what he's doing and is he ever going to acknowledge what he's done. I don't know.

 

You guys doing anything fun today?

 

I'll make sure to have a read

 

 

B x

[sputnik123]

Hey Bee,

 

Glad you had a good, relaxing day. I've had quite a chilled day, with alot of music! Updated my journal thread too :)

 

"I've been wondering a lot on what he's doing and is he ever going to acknowledge what he's done."

 

- Honestly, who knows? you could drive yourself crazy thinking about it (I did..).

 

Remember, you are worth more than that though.

 

Some people just take the easy way out.

 

S x

[Bumblebee093]

Today has been annoying emotionally, I woke up thinking of those two together and it made me feel angry, sick and sad. It's making me feel really low and stupid :(

[sputnik123]

Hey Bee,

 

My day been abit all over the place.. will put it down to being a Monday!

 

I know exactly what you mean, but you need to keep the mindset that he has downgraded, his loss and you will find better ! :)

 

You are definitely not stupid x

[Bumblebee093]

I was walking home from work and I kept seeing his car everywhere... It's probably not him but at the same time it could have been him at one point. It's stressful. My head is going into this mindset of he will text anyday... or I might bump into him anytime now... I don't know if it's me trying to cope and prepare myself for when it does, if it does, happen.

 

It can be exhausting where you're emotions are up n down constantly, One minute i'm bouncing of the walls and the next i'm crying into my pillow questioning why. I am trying to see it as if he has downgraded but it's so hard to think positive... but I will get there. I think the stress has started to play on my health slightly, my stomach has been churning all day, headaches just feeling really icky. I really do put it down to stress, I haven't eaten as well as I should be, I don't get enough sleep as it's disturbed.

 

but on the plus side, my provisional license arrived today. I hate how my photograph looks, I look like an elf... a very very tall elf.

 

x

[sputnik123]

I was walking home from work and I kept seeing his car everywhere... It's probably not him but at the same time it could have been him at one point. It's stressful. My head is going into this mindset of he will text anyday... or I might bump into him anytime now... I don't know if it's me trying to cope and prepare myself for when it does, if it does, happen.

 

It can be exhausting where you're emotions are up n down constantly, One minute i'm bouncing of the walls and the next i'm crying into my pillow questioning why. I am trying to see it as if he has downgraded but it's so hard to think positive... but I will get there. I think the stress has started to play on my health slightly, my stomach has been churning all day, headaches just feeling really icky. I really do put it down to stress, I haven't eaten as well as I should be, I don't get enough sleep as it's disturbed.

 

but on the plus side, my provisional license arrived today. I hate how my photograph looks, I look like an elf... a very very tall elf.

 

x

 

Hey Bee,

 

As dear Carus and I have stated a few times in our journals, it is truly a roller-caoster, there is no way round it. You just need to strap in and keep moving forward on it.

 

TIME is the key, you need to give yourself this and lots of it. All you can do.

 

"I was walking home from work and I kept seeing his car everywhere... It's probably not him but at the same time it could have been him at one point. It's stressful. My head is going into this mindset of he will text anyday... or I might bump into him anytime now... I don't know if it's me trying to cope and prepare myself for when it does, if it does, happen".

 

I can relate to this so much. Remarkably, I haven't seen my ex for 3 months (since a week after b/up) and we live in the same small town. Every day I think perhaps this is the day I see her, what would I do, say etc? Truthfully, I still don't know. This is probably why she has only now unblocked me, to check I'm still alive! lol

 

Make sure you look after yourself with the sleeping and the eating. The sleeping especially can really affect the mood.

 

Great news with the provisional.. Get booking some lessons!! Not only will it be very productive, but also therapeutic! :)

 

S x

[Bumblebee093]

It’s been a busy few days but not an easy few days.

 

As soon as I think I’m slowly getting over him everything comes flooding back. I miss his hugs, his laugh, his jokes. It’s so hard when you’ve had something for 10 years for it to be ripped away from you and moved on so so fast. Some days I have a i don’t care attitude and I don’t miss him but when I think more about it, it could be a coping mechanism my brain is doing because it builds up n up and I end up having a rubbish time again.

 

It’s one of those things where my Confidence has dropped again and I feel like the longer me and him haven’t spoken the more I realise that this is it. It is really over. There is no reconciliation. We haven’t spoken for nearly 21 days. I’ve seen him around in his car but we haven’t spoken. I am finding it hard to let go. My friend and I was talking about break ups in general and he said his friend wasn’t over his ex and he just said he told him “get your **** together and just move on god” for someone I felt a really close connection too and a great friendship i felt a bit attacked by that statement and it put me in a really bad mood. I had to set him straight that it’s not that easy for some people.

 

 

Valentine’s Day is coming up and again all my brain is doing is thinking about them. How he will make an effort for her. How im sat here, on my own just wishing that I could have that amount of love from someone. That a big strong man would come in, sweep me off my feet and make me feel like how I felt at the start of those 10 years. All my efforts have gone to waste, all that time, energy, love just thrown back in my face.

 

I’ve finally told some people about this situation and as soon as I said he’s moved on within a week their faces says it all. It makes me feel somewhat better knowing that I’m not the only one who thinks that it is stupid and hurtful.

 

 

I thought that when he got down on one knee that was it for me. I really really wanted it to work but I guess he doesn’t want it too anymore

 

 

I’m rambling again but it needs to come out at some point x)

 

 

B x

[Piaresssss]

Hey Bee,

 

I know exactly how you feel. One day you feel on top of the world. The next you just want to stay in bed all day.

 

I was with my ex for 3 years and it tore me apart. I cant even imagine how it would feel if it where 10 years. From what I have read you are handaling it very well. Id even say better than im handling my break up.

 

Keep up the no contact, you will get better eventually but its not a road i would wish anybody to walk.

 

Your thoughts of reconciliation not happening may seem hard to deal with but thats for the best. Think of it like this. If after however many months this guy came back because the grass wasnt greener would he be worth it. I personally dont think he would. I think you have far to much self respect to allow that to happen.

 

While he has jumped into another relationship you are actually dealing with your emotions and are gonna come out of this for the better. I doubt in a few months you would even recognise the old you for the new Bee 2.0 looking back at you.

 

Valentines day. Just a day like any other. If you think its gonna be hard plan something that will keep you busy all day or lift your mood. Who cares what the ex is doing. He missed out on a diamond like.

 

I thought i had it all sown up with my ex. Was planning on proposing. We talked kids, buying a house so i know the feeling of having it all ripped away. Im going to asume you are 24/25 based on your user name (same as me) so you got plenty of time to find what you are looking for.

 

This was a bit of a ramble too but i got the gym endorphins firing so on a bit of a high.

 

Just keep doing you and it will all work out 😁

[Bumblebee093]

Hey piares!

 

I’m sorry that you’re still having a rough time with your break up :(. As you said, wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone. It’s truly heart wrenching.

 

I’m going to try and keep up the no contact, I’ve not given in to my urges to “let loose” on him and tell him truly what he is and what he’s done. If anything I’ve written it all down in a letter that I plan on burning x)

 

I agree with you there, this is thoughts I’ve had to myself multiple of times. I don’t think I would be able to take him back if he decided in the end that “I was the right one for him” The damage is done and it’s effected my perseption on myself but in the back of my mind there is always that little thought of you still wanting him back. Wanting it back to how it was :(

 

I think I’m working on Valentine’s Day so it’s something to keep me busy. If not, I’ll be planning something with someone or even treat myself xD

 

I am indeed 24, 25 soon. I hope so, I’m one of those people that have a plan in their head, married by 26 with a house, kids by 30 and that was happening but I’m trying to look at it that life is always unexpected and maybe this is just leading me to something better... I hope

 

I miss working out but never found the time to do so! Most of my job includes a lot of heavy lifting and carrying so I get some of my work out there and I do try and get out on my days off for a long walk to clear the mind.

 

I do hope it gets easier for you. As my mother always said, when times get tough all you can do is keep plodding along even if slower than normal cause you will get there In the end.

 

 

B x

[sputnik123]

Hey Bee,

 

Good to hear from you.

 

You are doing so well. I implore you to keep going with the full NC.. Proud of you

 

We all have setbacks in the healing process, but I guarantee you if you keep on doing all the things you are doing, you will one day look back at this and be thankful to not only have come through it, but as the strong, wonderful person you are.

Your ex will one day think what the hell has he lost, but you won't care one jot!

 

Great, isn't it x

[Makeit]

Hey Bee. Im goin thru the same right now. Kinda got played. I struggle with the same thoughts you are. Imagining someone we loved with someone else is brutal. Sends me into a rage. Hang in there. Im trying as well.

[Carus]

Hi BB*. Just checking in on you...xmwax

 

Carus*