boltnrun Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 OP, do you have a confirmed date with her for New Year's Eve? As in, you asked her out, she said 'yes' and you have set a time for the date? She may have told you she'd like to spend it with you, but are the plans confirmed? Because I sure hope you're not planning to just wait until that night and then call her (or, God forbid, text her) and expect her to be available. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozhni Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 OP, do you have a confirmed date with her for New Year's Eve? As in, you asked her out, she said 'yes' and you have set a time for the date? She may have told you she'd like to spend it with you, but are the plans confirmed? Because I sure hope you're not planning to just wait until that night and then call her (or, God forbid, text her) and expect her to be available. Glad you replied. She asked me what I was doing for NYE and I told her my usual plans with family. She then invited me to come with her but she said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to do anything. She said she might just want to stay home. She told me to let her know if I wanted to go with her... I was planning to text her tomorrow and ask her if she was still planning on going out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I thought you asked for ideas of where to take her. Am I confusing you with someone else? Anyway, if you said you were spending it with family it might have sounded to her like you didn't want to see her. So... I would not wait until the night of and I sure wouldn't text her! Why not call her earlier in the day and invite her out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Glad you replied. She asked me what I was doing for NYE and I told her my usual plans with family. She then invited me to come with her but she said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to do anything. She said she might just want to stay home. She told me to let her know if I wanted to go with her... I was planning to text her tomorrow and ask her if she was still planning on going out! Noooooo. No no no. Your invitations absolutely scream she is low priority to you. DO. NOT. Wait until tomorrow to invite her out. That is SO inconsiderate. If you want a date, ASK HER!! Before tomorrow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozhni Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 Noooooo. No no no. Your invitations absolutely scream she is low priority to you. DO. NOT. Wait until tomorrow to invite her out. That is SO inconsiderate. If you want a date, ASK HER!! Before tomorrow! I forgot to add the part that she got really sick a few days ago. That’s why she isn’t sure if she wants to go out anymore. I talked to her today and she told me that she wants to go out but probably won’t because she’s still feeling sick.. this is hard for me because idk if I should ask her out or let her be? I still haven’t asked her if she wanted to go with me. I haven’t told her what I decided to do yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Well. Do you want to see her or do you want to celebrate the new year? Soup, movies, blanket fort, that sounds nice... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozhni Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 Well. Do you want to see her or do you want to celebrate the new year? Soup, movies, blanket fort, that sounds nice... I feel like that’s an important decision to make. If I decide to stay in with her, that’ll make me look like I’m desperate for her or needy. I feel like it’ll be a turnoff.. I want to spend it with her though But I feel like the best way to keep her interest level up is to go out and have fun. I don’t think she’s comfortable enough with me to be sick around me anyway lol I know I’m not. I wouldn’t want her to see me with a runny nose and nasty cough. Plus when I’m sick I’m not fun to be around lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I feel like that’s an important decision to make. If I decide to stay in with her, that’ll make me look like I’m desperate for her or needy. I feel like it’ll be a turnoff.. I want to spend it with her though But I feel like the best way to keep her interest level up is to go out and have fun. I don’t think she’s comfortable enough with me to be sick around me anyway lol I know I’m not. I wouldn’t want her to see me with a runny nose and nasty cough. Plus when I’m sick I’m not fun to be around lol What makes you think she wants you to stay in with her? Without more info, my impression is (1) she's not interested in going out with you and using sickness as an excuse, or (2) she really is sick and wishes to stay home, alone. In any event, this all sounds very haphazard. Your actions don't suggest you have any romantic interest in her; you are setting yourself up to be friendzoned, if you haven't been already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozhni Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 What makes you think she wants you to stay in with her? Without more info, my impression is (1) she's not interested in going out with you and using sickness as an excuse, or (2) she really is sick and wishes to stay home, alone. In any event, this all sounds very haphazard. Your actions don't suggest you have any romantic interest in her; you are setting yourself up to be friendzoned, if you haven't been already. Im 100% sure that she got really sick. And yes I agree because I would want to stay home alone if I wasn’t sick too. That’s how I am when I’m sick. Yes this is haphazard and I’m okay with that. I decided 3 weeks ago that I would not put much effort into her anymore. Last time I went out with her she told me she’s not in a good mood and wants to stay inside, but I basically sent an “are you sure text?” and she ended up coming out and 3 mins after picking her up she said “I’m glad I came out, I feel a lot better” And she laughed a lot with me. I feel like if I kinda push her to come out, she will but idk if girls like that. I don’t think I should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milly007 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Op, it sounds like you like her so much, that you're over-thinking things. Why are you waiting to ask her out until the day of? I would be extremely turned-off if a guy did this to me. I'd lose interest and fast. If you want to see her on NYE, ask her if she's up for it, and do it sooner than later. Stop thinking about when you should message her and if she'll think you're needy. Just do it. Also, nothing wrong with her pampering herself and making herself a priority. Not only is her appearance part of her job but, I think the more important question you have to ask yourself is, is she a good person? I also don't agree with your views about marriage, and how a wife/mother should put her husband and kids above her. I completely disagree. Yes, making your loved ones a priority is important, however to consistently put them before herself ALL of the time would be a disaster. She would burn out. Self-care and making oneself happy is more of a priority, imo. If you aren't taking care of yourself, you don't have anything to give to anyone else. Unfortunately, this is a balancing act that a lot of wives and mothers struggle with, and far too many of the selfless moms that I know just don't do enough for themselves. Even my own mother doesn't do enough for herself and it's concerning. Maybe I'm misconstruing your views on marriage and having children, but it sounds like your views of how things are supposed to be are a bit on the selfish side. The fact that you have these expectations is a bit scary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I feel like that’s an important decision to make. If I decide to stay in with her, that’ll make me look like I’m desperate for her or needy. I feel like it’ll be a turnoff.. I want to spend it with her though But I feel like the best way to keep her interest level up is to go out and have fun. I don’t think she’s comfortable enough with me to be sick around me anyway lol I know I’m not. I wouldn’t want her to see me with a runny nose and nasty cough. Plus when I’m sick I’m not fun to be around lol You're trying so hard to be strategic instead of just enjoying getting to know a great girl. I know that's how the PUA guys do it but man it just seems exhausting. I don't have any advice, honesty I'm a bit confused. I thought this date was a done deal with her enthusiastically inviting you out and you accepting, so now I'm lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozhni Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 You're trying so hard to be strategic instead of just enjoying getting to know a great girl. I know that's how the PUA guys do it but man it just seems exhausting. I don't have any advice, honesty I'm a bit confused. I thought this date was a done deal with her enthusiastically inviting you out and you accepting, so now I'm lost. I don’t remember what I told you but she invited me to a party that she didn’t really want to go to herself (she just wanted to stay home). I told her the different ideas I had with family but I also told her I want to spend New Years with her and she said “okay let me know what you decide to do.” We left it at that. I got sick and then she recently got sick so now I’m stuck not knowing if I should try asking her to come over and do something inside rather be outside in the city in the freezing cold. Or do I just tell her to get well and contact me if she changes her mind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I don’t remember what I told you but she invited me to a party that she didn’t really want to go to herself (she just wanted to stay home). I told her the different ideas I had with family but I also told her I want to spend New Years with her and she said “okay let me know what you decide to do.” We left it at that. I got sick and then she recently got sick so now I’m stuck not knowing if I should try asking her to come over and do something inside rather be outside in the city in the freezing cold. Or do I just tell her to get well and contact me if she changes her mind? "I already know she obviously wants me in her life if out of all the people she can spend New Years with she wants to spend it with me. She even asked me if I wanted to do something else she was willing to do anything. " You seemed pretty sure a few days ago. But I highly recommend you don't wait until tomorrow to ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozhni Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 "I already know she obviously wants me in her life if out of all the people she can spend New Years with she wants to spend it with me. She even asked me if I wanted to do something else she was willing to do anything. " You seemed pretty sure a few days ago. But I highly recommend you don't wait until tomorrow to ask. I just texted her and told her to let me know if she feels better and decides to do something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I just texted her and told her to let me know if she feels better and decides to do something. That’s such throwaway language. If I got a text like that it would feel like I’m so low priority. “Hey, if you do a thing, let me know” instead of ”how are you feeling? I would like to do a thing with you, if you’re up for it.” And then, depending on her response, you either plan a date or wish her a speedy recovery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Did she respond? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 You texted her??? Sigh... You can't possibly wonder why you so seldom see her when you put in such little effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 How about picking up the phone and calling? "Hi Model. If you're feeling up to it, I'd like to take you to XYZ restaurant tomorrow night. If you're still not feeling too well I can pick up some take out and bring it for us to share. Does either one sound good?" Instead of sending a lazy text saying "hit me up if you want to do something." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Either stop communication with women who are always 'sick, busy, unsure, etc. or be more confident and ask them out in advance with definitive plans. This play-it-too-cool pua stuff you are reading is backfiring and women perceive you as weak and wishy-washy, when you can't step up and ask them out in advance.I decided 3 weeks ago that I would not put much effort into her anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozhni Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 See. This is perfect. It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. Women don’t like men as soon as they feel like the guy likes them more than they like him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Thread has run its course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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