Lilplazclown Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 So I have been talking to this guy for about 2 months. We only went on 2 dates because he is a single dad and has his son with him pretty much full time so it can get a bit hard for him to take time out. I completely understand that and he knows it. Anyway, after our 2nd date, he took a small 5 day vacation with his friends (which he had booked even before we started talking). After he came back, I started to notice that he started to pull away a bit. He stopped initiating texts (he still did but it was mostly me initiating). We see each other everyday because he works in the same building as me. His behaviour in person was fine though. He was still making eye contact, smiling, making small talk when we ran into each other etc. Well, I thought nothing of it cuz he still responded positively to my texts and things seemed fine in person as well. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. I texted him on Saturday asking if he had any plans for Sunday night. He replied saying he was going to a friend’s house for dinner and asked me how about you? I said I was actually gona ask him for dinner but no worries next time. He responded dinner would have been fun and next time forsure! The next day I saw him at work and we exchanged glances. Then later that night I texted him asking so when is next time? He said his son has some school stuff going on this week so how about the weekend? I said no worries weekend works. He said ok cool. All week we flirted a bit in person, made eye contact and smiled at each other. I texted him to drive safe on Thursday night because the weather was really bad and he responded with thanks and u too! Then on Friday I texted asking if we were still on for the weekend. He said yes but he needed to figure out what day he can do it as he has to drop his son off to his sister’s place so we can meet. I said ok cool. Then on Saturday I didn’t receive a text from him. I texted him Saturday evening asking wats up how was his day? He responded saying he got called into work and now he’s just at home chilling out with his son. I said cool so are we still going for dinner? He said he cannot anymore cuz he has this family event on Sunday evening that he totally forgot about and his sister reminded him just that morning. I said ok no worries maybe we can get together when we’re both not busy and he responded with sounds like a plan! Then back to work on Monday I saw him and we exchanged glances, smiled etc. On Tuesday I didn’t see him so I texted him saying if all was good since he did not come to work. He replied saying he was fine and his son was sick so he had to stay home with his son. I said hope he feels better and he replied thanks I hope so too so we see eachother tomorrow. Then the next day we saw each other, smiled, waved etc. On Thursday he had a meeting so he was dressed up really nice in a suit and tie and nice shoes. I saw him and told him ohh u look so good. He said thanks but we were surrounded by people so we kept it subtle. Later that evening, I texted him saying I wanted to tell u this in person but couldn’t cuz we were surrounded by people but u looked really damn fine today . He replied with hahaha thank u had to dress up for a meeting. On friday I did not see him again but wanted to know if he would be willing to hang out on the weekend. I texted him Friday night asking if he had any plans on Sunday evening (since I have to go somewhere Saturday). He replied the next day saying hey I’m actually out of town and wont he back until Tuesday and sent me a pic of where he is. I said oh so awesome! Looks cool. Have a good time! Now my dilemma is, since he kind of flaked on me last time cuz of his “family event”, should I have texted him about his plans at all? I feel kinda stupid. Am I coming across as needy or too available? He knows I go out with friends and have a life of my own cuz many times during the week when we run into each other he asks how was ur night and I tell him I was out with a friend or went shopping or went to watch a movie etc. So not sure if I’m coming across as too available? I certainly enjoy this guy’s company but I’m in no way head over heels for him. He’s a cool fun guy who is fun to hang out with but I feel like he may be starting to think I’m desperate? Any take on that? Also, now that this is technically the 3rd time I kind of asked him to hangout and he was busy, what should my next move be? Should I text at all or let him initiate now? I’m not holding anything against him. He’s genuinely busy and I understand that. I just don’t want him to think I’m too available. In person when I see him I plan on behaving like normal (eye contact, smile, little flirting etc.), but is it a good idea to now let him ask me for a change since I tried like 3 times and he was busy? (Btw the first 2 dates were both initiated by him). Also, when he does ask should I tell him I’m busy too? I am going out of town for Christmas next week and won’t be back untik Jan 5th but I haven’t told him that. Should I tell him or say it when he asks me to hang out? Thanks for your input and sorry for this being so long! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annia Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 I don't know, but I think you're too emotionally invested in someone you just met in person two times. You need to chill. Also, no need to pretend you're busy to get back at him... simply be actually busy. Do other things you like and don't keep hanging on waiting for him or trying to decipher him. Move on with your life and don't invest so much on him at such an early stage. If he's interested he'll find time for you, if not you'll be already busy with other interesting things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
byako Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Let me tell you a story. I went to London, and I met this guy. He was the most perfect, dreamy guy I ever met. We hung out every day, then when I went home he completely ignored me for a few weeks. After pestering and pressuring he started to talk to me again. We decided to try and make things work, and that I would fly out there to see him again. I flew there (from Canada) and he ditched me every single day. He wouldn't even answer his phone. To this day, he doesn't talk to me at all, and when I message him he responds with something rude. Don't be too pushy when it comes to men. You've met him twice, just relax. You're gonna meet somebody much better one day. Find other things to do to distract yourself... Go see your friends, hang out with your family, and leave your phone at home sometimes. Don't mistake salt for sugar. If he wants to be with you, he will. It's that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Throw the ball completely into his court to free your worry up. Say "I'd like to get together, let me know when you're not busy". Simple, and prevents you from having the urge to ask anymore. If he sets up a date, you're set. If not, move on. Pull back on the texting and flirting. He may think you're too available so he doesn't put in effort. If you go a bit cold on him, he will step up up if he's interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indea08 Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 I don't think he's as genuinely busy as you think he is. If he were interested in pursuing you, he'd make the time for it. If you've already texted him earlier in the week and made plans for the weekend, you shouldn't have to text him again on Saturday night to find out where the heck he's been and if dinner is still on. If he's had something come up, he should've let you know. That is part of being an adult and being accountable. I would be done with this guy. And btw, I was a single parent as well, yet I still made time to date people I was interested in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thealchemist Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Throw the ball completely into his court to free your worry up. Say "I'd like to get together, let me know when you're not busy". Simple, and prevents you from having the urge to ask anymore. If he sets up a date, you're set. If not, move on. Pull back on the texting and flirting. He may think you're too available so he doesn't put in effort. If you go a bit cold on him, he will step up up if he's interested.Pretty good way to tell. You can't be responsible for all the initiating. If he cares he will reciprocate, if he doesn't he won't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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