01aasi01 Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 So my now ex-boyfriend broke up with a week ago, we have broken up many times before. the first "real" break up happened in august which lasted for about a week and a half before he contacted me and said he regrets everything. but about 4 days before he came back to me he slept with an intern at his job... in between september and december we have broken up abut 4 times but it never lasted, he immediately regretted his decision and we made up. but now this last time we broke up which was a week ago he was really committed to his decision and didn't seem to be changing his mind anytime soon. I just found out today that he called my mother and told her that he felt that was to clingy and I was too "available" and I always picked up fights with him because I had too much free time. he works a lot and I am not saying that I am not at fault here. anyways he also told my mother that he have been with the girl he slept with the first time we broke up, his "rebound" (she's 16 btw). and it has only been DAYS after our break up and before we broke up he told me that he was not leaving me for her. But he was obviously lying, under the time we were together he and the "rebound" girl was in contact from time to time, I found out and he was always making excuses like she's really sad and he was feeling guilty for breaking her heart. so now my question is really should I even have hope of getting back with him? I really love this guy because he has been doing EVERYTHING for me really and he's been taken care of me and my family so much. We have been together for 4 1/2 years and both he and I are 21. What should I do? will their relationship last and is it really no hope for me? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 He is 21 and she is 16. That is illegal. If you have broken up five times, IT WILL NOT WORK!!!!! How many times do the two of you need to split up??? If your life revolves around him, then make an effort to expand your social life, by making more friends and finding a new guy. It is unhealthy, if he has been doing "EVERYTHING." Stop being so dependent on men. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 There is no future between you two anymore, OP. Breaking up 5 times is plain ludicrous, and is all the evidence you need that you two are no longer a match. What he is doing calling your mother is beyond me, but she should not be taking his calls and discussing you with him. There are some boundaries missing here, which is also evidenced by his choice to pursue a young teen. At their respective ages, she is much too young for him. No, their relationship won't last. But neither would yours. It's time to let go, and make your move into the more adult world of dating and relationships. He was your past, but you will have a much better future without him in it. I guarantee it. Link to comment
01aasi01 Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 There is no future between you two anymore, OP. Breaking up 5 times is plain ludicrous, and is all the evidence you need that you two are no longer a match. What he is doing calling your mother is beyond me, but she should not be taking his calls and discussing you with him. There are some boundaries missing here, which is also evidenced by his choice to pursue a young teen. At their respective ages, she is much too young for him. No, their relationship won't last. But neither would yours. It's time to let go, and make your move into the more adult world of dating and relationships. He was your past, but you will have a much better future without him in it. I guarantee it. we are very close with each others family so we talk a lot about our problems with each others parents, I too talk a lot to his mother but its gonna have to stop now that we are officially over. Link to comment
01aasi01 Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 He is 21 and she is 16. That is illegal. If you have broken up five times, IT WILL NOT WORK!!!!! How many times do the two of you need to split up??? If your life revolves around him, then make an effort to expand your social life, by making more friends and finding a new guy. It is unhealthy, if he has been doing "EVERYTHING." Stop being so dependent on men. we live in Sweden so it not actually illegal because the legal age to have sex here is 15. but I was referring to later in life maybe not right now or so because I know he has to go out and explore and live his life.. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 I still think that it is weird that a 21 year old is dating a 16 year old. If you have broken up more than twice, it indicates that it will not work. You need to go NC with everyone and move on with your life. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 we live in Sweden so it not actually illegal because the legal age to have sex here is 15. but I was referring to later in life maybe not right now or so because I know he has to go out and explore and live his life.. It might not be illegal, but you have to wonder why a 21-year-old man is chasing after someone so young. She is basically still a kid, mentally and emotionally. Anyway, yes, you need to stop talking to each other's families like this. You need to cut him off so you can move on from this relationship that stopped working a while ago. Link to comment
01aasi01 Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 I still think that it is weird that a 21 year old is dating a 16 year old. If you have broken up more than twice, it indicates that it will not work. You need to go NC with everyone and move on with your life. I totally agree it's super weird, but many people told me that she may be the easiest lay for him right now so thats why he's with her. I'm a week into NC a week right now expect he text me two days ago asking me how I am doing, I answered but was quit "cold" Link to comment
01aasi01 Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 It might not be illegal, but you have to wonder why a 21-year-old man is chasing after someone so young. She is basically still a kid, mentally and emotionally. Anyway, yes, you need to stop talking to each other's families like this. You need to cut him off so you can move on from this relationship that stopped working a while ago. yes it's totally weird but she's maybe all he got right now. I haven't reached out to him since the break up but he texted me two days ago asking how I was I replied but only answering his question. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 I totally agree it's super weird, but many people told me that she may be the easiest lay for him right now so thats why he's with her. I'm a week into NC a week right now expect he text me two days ago asking me how I am doing, I answered but was quit "cold" At the end of the day, it's not even about this teenager, really. Independent of her, you two are no longer compatible. It's gotten far too messy and unstable and it's time for you to just leave this behind you. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 I totally agree it's super weird, but many people told me that she may be the easiest lay for him right now so thats why he's with her. I'm a week into NC a week right now expect he text me two days ago asking me how I am doing, I answered but was quit "cold" Don't understand why you are responding at all!!! He dumped you, again, and has a new gf. You need to find your self respect and , and be done. Block and delete! Link to comment
01aasi01 Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 Don't understand why you are responding at all!!! He dumped you, again, and has a new gf. You need to find your self respect and , and be done. Block and delete! I do have self respect, but just because you break up with someone doesn’t mean you have to cut them out totally. Especially if you have been in each other’s life for so long and so have so many amazing memories together! And I think in time we could be good friends.. Just because he disrespects me doesn’t mean I have to do that to, I chose to be the bigger person and replied.. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 As "friends", you'd be happy for him that he's dating someone and seems content. If you're hurt or jealous, you cannot be friends. Link to comment
01aasi01 Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 As "friends", you'd be happy for him that he's dating someone and seems content. If you're hurt or jealous, you cannot be friends. Of course! I said in time, right now we could not be friends because I still have feelings for him.. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Maybe friendship will be possible in the distant future. By more likely than not, you two will eventually drift apart as you both move on with your lives. This is what usually happens to exes. And that's perfectly okay. As time passes, you will feel less and less desire to have him in your life. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 I do have self respect, but just because you break up with someone doesn’t mean you have to cut them out totally. Especially if you have been in each other’s life for so long and so have so many amazing memories together! And I think in time we could be good friends.. Just because he disrespects me doesn’t mean I have to do that to, I chose to be the bigger person and replied.. Cutting someone off after they dump you for a child is not disrespect. Respect yourself, and be done with this guy, once and for all. Link to comment
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