Nsomnia901 Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 I met this girl online, she moved across the state to be with me... We got pregnant. The relationship happened fast.... Everything did... I don't even think we had time to fall in love. This past Sept, we split up... I felt neglected because she just acted like she didn't care if I was there or not. I wanted to work on fixing things and she ended things... I immediately filed for custody and make sure she couldn't move with my daughter away from me. She got served papers... We came up with our own custody and that is now resolved and court approved. She wants to stay in house and raise our daughter. I am still holding onto the hope something brings us back together. We both have said so.e very awful things.. She feels I have been verbally abusive and she doesn't trust me.. And I feel she's been neglectful and she has said and done nasty things. Including telling the court that she fears for out daughters safety if I were to get custody and my life is a mess. Both were complete false statements. Every time I've tried to move on she has made comments or seemed upset. Which makes me feel there's hope. But then acts like she doesnt care. So then weeks go and I talk to her about moving out and she immediately wants to know if I'm seeing someone. I was talking g to a girl and my daughter grabbed phone.. She saw it was a girl and she got all upset. And keeps saying my new gf... And it's not like that. So she acts and tells me it's over. Then once I finally accept terms and to something to separate us, she makes or acts like it hurt her... Which confuses me and then I get upset and my emotions are all over. I lose my temper and yell and say mean things... Then she turns that Into this isn't worth fixing.. Or I can't forgive you... But then she leads on acting like we're together. There hasn't been sex in 4 months. There was talk about it thanksgiving but never happened. I'm emotionally depleted. Im depressed. I would still try to fix this.. She says it's not fixable... But I'm so afraid to make a move and her thinking I'm done. Our daughter is amazing, and I have begged for forgiveness so many times do my part of all this... And give this family another chance... She always says no, but acts like its happening. I don't know what I'm doing anymore... Please help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 What a mess. I think it's best you two have separate homes to get to distance and some clarity. She can cry and guilt you all she wants but at the end of the day this is clearly not only not working but doing more damage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nsomnia901 Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 It's my house, she has refused to pay me anything and says the child covers it. So in the custody I put I'd give her 400 a month but it gets negated while she's living there. But then when I say we need to be apart, then she wants to give me money and stay there... I can go to my moms and stay there.. She won't leave as my mom has offered. And now it's winter time.... I just bought a bed... I've been on the couch for the past 5 months. I know it's not healthy.. I feel like this relationship is over, but it's been 2 years.. We have a 16m old... And there are moments where I know there is still something there... But then something sets off past and we're throwing past in each others faces. I'm desperate to save this family... I dont know how to earn her trust and forgiveness back.. And I can't forgive her either.... We just blame each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nsomnia901 Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 The first part was so good... We would do things... Healthy sex life. Caring.. Got each others back... And then it slowly just spiraled into the oblivion it's in now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 have you considered couples counseling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nsomnia901 Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 We have talked about it... First she didn't want it. . Then again when I've gotten to point of acceptance, she wants to try. Then we fight and I attack because I feel like I'm just being played. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nsomnia901 Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 We never went through with anything. And now she says it's too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akfranklin2014 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 I was in a relationship like this once, minus the child. It won't be easy but you have to separate. Both of you are only doing more and more damage to your yourselves but most importantly to your child even just living in the same household. File a custody agreement through court and give her a certain time to be out. And follow through. Every time you back out of something it shows her she can guilt trip you into submission. It will be the hardest thing you've ever done, but it will be better for you and your child in the long run. If she refuses to leave go through the courts. I know you don't want to do that to the mother of your child, but something has to wake you guys up. Counseling may help you guys, but I doubt it. The resentment and anger and distrust seems like it has killed your relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillstrand23 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 The fact is she doesn’t know how to communicate her feelings towards you but you have to talk to her about your feelings about getting back together Some people are just better off alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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