ineedadvise Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I had a strange feeling that my partner was hiding something from me. He would spend long times on his cellphone and would put it down as soon as I approached him. Because of this I looked through his phone one night and found that he has a porn profile with intimate pics of me. He used images that he would take of me naked, sometimes without my consent, and images form my FB profile to upload them to a porn website pretending to be me. He also had another account where he uploaded videos of his ex getting naked. She sent these to him while they were dating, way before he met me. I confronted him about it and he admitted that he has a porn problem. He asked for forgiveness and he said that he wants to solve his porn issue but doesn’t know where to seek help. He said that regardless if we stay together or not he will solve his problems because he knows he has a problem and he wants to overcome it. He deleted all the content he had on that porn profile in front of me. He also affirmed me that aside from his porn problem he never cheated on my with anyone because he truly and genuinely loves me . I don’t know what to do. Should I forgive him? Should I walk away? I thought our relationship was going well. I know he loves me and I love him too. But I just don’t know if I should forgive him. He broke my trust, he shamed me in front of thousands of online users, he didn’t think or care about the consequences this may bring to me later in my life. Before we started our relationship, I always had doubts about wanting to be with him. He’s not exactly everything that I want in a partner. But I know he is a person of good and honest feelings. I just don’t know how to deal with his porn problem. Should I stick around and work with him through this together? Should I walk away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Get out of this relationship NOW. He took unknown naked pictures of you and posted them on a porn site? Don't think for a moment about staying with him. His relationship to porn doesn't matter at all. He put naked pictures of you on the internet without your permission. He can't love you. He doesn't respect you. HE PUT UP NAKED PICTURES OF YOU! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 OMG! Why aren't you gone?????? How could you even consider staying with someone like this? And no, this is not love. This has nothing do with an addiction, he is a complete sleaze bag! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Would you be okay if you were standing naked and he handed you to a room full of men? Because this is no different. What he did was criminal and he could be charged if you decided to. This is more than a matter of being embarrassed, this is matter of safety. He handed you naked to hundreds of strangers. That's extremely dangerous behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Would you be okay if you were standing naked and he handed you to a room full of men? Because this is no different. What he did was criminal and he could be charged if you decided to. This is more than a matter of being embarrassed, this is matter of safety. He handed you naked to hundreds of strangers. That's extremely dangerous behavior. Sherry is right. This is criminal behavior. I would report him to the authorities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 OMG you have to ask what to do??? GET AWAY from him NOW. Those photos of you are now online and will remain there til hell freezes over. You should be beyond PO'd with this loser. Also stop posing for naked photos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ineedadvise Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 I know I need to leave him and I told him it’s over. But is been harder for me than I thought. He was my first serious relationship out of college, my first love. He met a lot of my family and I met his. We had moved in together about five months ago after dating for a year. We had plans of getting married and having kids for the future. I know I shouldn’t forgive him but I can’t get over him right away. I know he’s an honest person and I want to help him with his addiction problem. I feel bad for him because after living with him, aside from his problem, I know he’s a nice person. However, I’m also in pain due to what he did to me. I know addictions can be hard to deal with and I’m afraid that if I step away it’ll affect his recovery process. But then again, I don’t want him to think that I’m okay with what he did and that I’ll always be forgiving him. What he did is very serious and at the end of the day I’m the one who’s most affected. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t demonize him because I’ve experience his kindness to others. But i also understand that what he did to me and his other ex is unacceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 So what. We have all had a first love, and survived. What this guy did is criminal, dangerous and disgusting. It is not the porn that made him do it - he did not have to put your pics up - but his sleazy character. How would you feel if your family or an employer saw the picks? Make better choices in life. I would also suggest counseling. You cannot sink any lower than this creep!!!! IT IS NOT THE ADDICTION!!! STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR THIS SLIME BALL! I suggest that you tell your family about all of this, and see what the suggest. I suggest you also look up co dependence. Check out CODA. Your are not his counselor, mother or caretaker. He made very adult decisions when he posted these pics. This is one of the worst threads I have read on this site. I cannot believe that you are feeling sorry for him. Where did your self worth go? You should be filing charges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 What do you think your family would think of him posting your nude photos online? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 He is a pathetic excuse of a man and no I would not forgive that . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yatsue Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I don't think you realize after he deleted his own account with thise pictures, the pictures online aren't gone. There are men probably fapping to them as we speak, after copying or sharing them online. Please realize they have likely been or will be reposted by other men, in other avenues, who viewed that site in such a short amount of time, forever. They will never be gone now they have been put out there. One day one of your friends, family, coworkers or aquaintances will view them and not know the story behind it. What your boyfriend did is not normal and illegal. It is detrimental and he clearly knows it, due to him trying to hide this from you. That doesn't sound like an honest, good man. On the outside it may be, but underneath he can do some serious damage. This was intentional. To be honest, I don't think I could ever trust myself around such a deceiving character; I've heard of revenge porn but nothing like this, ever. This guy claims to care for you and then secretly takes naked photos of you and distributes them online for his enjoyment...yikes... If you won't leave this guy, at least keep your clothes on around him (yes, even lock the door while showering and change clothes in there) until he gets some serious help. This is a huge issue concerning your privacy to your body. You can get really hurt from this and I am concerned for you. Please do not brush this off. It is one thing to take photos of your body without your consent, it is another thing to distribute them. Both bad, although your situation is significantly worse. He can always take more pictures, and when he gets the urge, then there goes more naked photos of you on the internet at any time. Are your naked pictures still on his phone or computer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 You need to go to the authorities if he has posted pictures he took when you were sleeping or were otherwise unaware that he took them. You also need to report it to the social media platform. And yes. get the heck away from him. He doesn't respect, nor care about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Time to leave. Never never never never never consider staying with someone or having kids with somebody who just sexually abused you by exposing you to what is in fact the universe . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I know he’s an honest person and I want to help him with his addiction problem. . OP, don't be so naive. You're viewing all of this (and him) through rose coloured glasses. There is nothing "nice" or "honest" about what he did. What he did was criminal and you should report him to the authorities. Not only that, but you should dump his sorry a$$ and head for the hills and NEVER look back. The sooner you realise the gravity of what he did, the better. That said, if you still choose to stay with him, knowing what he did, that's on YOU and there is nothing anyone can do to help you with that. That's your choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 The thing I don't get, is thinking the posting of her pics has anything to do with an addiction - they are not related. Many have porn addiction, but do not post pics of their partners online. Really deviant behavior, and you want to raise kids with 'this man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Posting sexual pictures online for the world to see of you without your consent is criminal and sexual abuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Well it certainly isn't love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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