desert_rose26 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Hi guys, I am writing because I have a confusing choice to make. I am very unhappy and keep getting disrespected and emotionally abused at my current work place. They speak to me in condescending ways and even lashing out at me (more so currently). My relationship has steadily declined with my employer. This is a very small company and at a startup so it's a very casual environment. I've been here for about 9 months. I wanted to stay because I have financial investment worries (eg. mortgage). I would have left this place long time ago if I had no financial worries. I've been thinking and wanting to leave for several months now. The co-workers got laid off and the entire company is very poorly managed and the ship looks to be sinking either tomorrow or in a month. The only thing that keeps me from leaving is I wanted to find a new job before I leave but I haven't found one yet. Another reason I should leave is that my health has taken a toll. I was sick a lot during the last few months and now I am having trouble breathing sometimes without coughing. Before all this I was a very healthy individual. I'm only in my 30's btw. My employers are extremely unhappy with half of my work. They didn't seem like horrible people at first (although there were clues at the beginning) alas I needed a job and I took it. I have had several discussions about why I am unhappy and they have shared their side as well but after several weeks we still cannot fix communication issues and most recently they are starting to lash out at me via email saying how I do things wrong and they don't understand how my thought process at all. I just need to get out of here. I have calmed down quite a bit as it is midnight. I have finally decided I have to get out of here to save myself and my health. If I have to risk my finances I still will take the chance (I have family and my bf that could help if worst comes to worst but I do not rely on people). I've stuck around this place for far too long. My employer seems to care less and less if I stay or not. They have in the past told me if I am unhappy here I should find a new job. I can stay if they are respectful towards me when they see I can improve but because there's some emotional bullying and disrespect I cannot stay. I am old enough to judge that this situation is one that I need to get myself out of. I am so tired and emotionally drained. I've held many jobs in the past and I have to say I've had some horrible experiences but when you can't make your bosses happy no matter how you try and they just put you down in front of your face it's very hard when you are a junior creative. They've even said in the past that they have worked with better professionals in the past. I really don't think they deserve 2 weeks notice let alone 1. When my co-workers got laid off, it was immediate and they had no advance notice. I am not a quitter usually but I really want to quit. I dream about the email resignation to my boss as they are both leaving the country for a month next week but I could very well give the resignation email last thing on Friday. Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luminousone Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 If you can find a job first, that is the best scenario. That said, I completely understand what it is like to work in a hostile environment. It is possible that they are planning to fire you, so be prepared for that. If you quit, you should give 1 or 2 weeks notice in writing. A lot of times employers say just to leave right away, but if they ask you to do that then be sure they pay you for the 2 weeks. As far as the cough. When you go to the doctor, have them refer you to an ear nose and throat doctor to be evaluated for a sinus infection. I had one for 9 months before it was finally detected. My doctor couldn't understand why I was coughing. If it is a sinus infection then have them take a culture so you will be prescribed tge right kind of antibiotics for the infection. Good luck on everything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitterfingers Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I've actually experienced a lot of this (bullying at work) as I have ASD and tend to find myself a target for less-than-tolerant middle managers and ignorant (particularly male) peers. So I know the toll it can take on your life and mental health. My first word of advice would be that you definitely should leave as soon as possible. It is always ideal to set up a new job first, BUT it can be hard to make it through the job-searching and interviewing process when you are feeling down about yourself because you are being bullied. Future employers may ask why you left before you found another role (i.e. why there was a gap in your employment before finding another job, or why you only stayed 9 mths) and you can't be honest about this situation because it's an unspoken 'rule' that any trash talk about a former employer reflects worse on you than it does on the employer I would definitely give notice though, as some companies (or recruitment agencies) will do a background check which includes checking your employment history. Since you don't want to get caught in any lies, it's best to resign respectfully so you don't leave a sour taste in their mouths and they won't remember you as the person who disrespected them when you left - even if they don't like your work, they'll usually give a decent reference if you haven't totally agitated them So maybe what you could do is send the email on a Monday afternoon or Tuesday mid-morning instead, as it's a lot less obvious that you're basically giving them the middle finger as soon as the opportunity has presented itself However, are the people who are going away for a month the same ones who are bullying you? If so, maybe you could actually use the first two weeks as time to set yourself up with a recruiter and apply for a few other roles. Call in sick one day if you have to, to give yourself enough time to get things in motion and put out a few feelers. Since they won't be around, they have very limited opportunities to target you I assume? Be strategic about it in a way that protects your best interests. Lie if you have to. One of my best "F you's" to an employer came after 6 months of daily, severe harassment that was so obviously illegal (included swearing and personal remarks that had nothing to do with my work, telling me to shut up or to do work that was impossible etc). I was working for a travel agency and I'd spoken to people in head office about the mistreatment, but nothing was done. What was I to do? I took advantage of all the employee travel deals (lots of half price flights and hotels) and had my ex who worked in another agency help me secretly book a 2 month trip around Europe And then I gave a week's notice and left Travel was a good excuse as to why I'd had to leave my last role when I was asked by my next employer, and previous employer obviously had to concede. So, be strategic and don't let them pin anything on you after you leave But also leave before they can fire you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections11 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I've been in that situation. Twice. For me... I ended up quitting both times without a job lined up. And I mostly didn't regret it. One time, i had enough money saved up to last a while. The other time I didn't have much money saved but my working situation was miserable and dangerous. I dont regret quitting, but it made some really stressful financial times later. I would really really try to hang on until you have another job. At the very least, try to have 6 months money saved up, and maybe closer to a year. I gave 1 week notice at my last job cause they were awful. But I gave the option to stay two weeks if they wanted, which they did. They may be terrible but it's professional to give notice, and honestly you NEVER KNOW who knows whom so you really don't want to burn bridges. Even if they are awful. That being said, take care of your health. Bad jobs can ravage your health. I know from experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanZee Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 As I understand it, in Canada, you can get unemployment benefits if you are laid off because of lack of work or the company is closing down. So you might want to hang on at the company for that. That will pay some of your bills while you look for work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desert_rose26 Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 Thanks everyone for your advice. I understand giving notice is professional but the bridge has been burned a long time ago. I cannot use them as reference. Would you say it's still worth it to give one week notice? Or will one week won't make a difference since it's not two? These people are unreasonable and unthankful. If I give two weeks they will still think I'm awful and treat me worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Thanks everyone for your advice. I understand giving notice is professional but the bridge has been burned a long time ago. I cannot use them as reference. Would you say it's still worth it to give one week notice? Or will one week won't make a difference since it's not two? These people are unreasonable and unthankful. If I give two weeks they will still think I'm awful and treat me worse. keep looking for a job. Try every recruiter and staffing agency you can think of. I have found i am more attractive to employers if i already have a job vs being unemployed. But btw, if they do not like your work - are they sincerely just being mean or are there things you can improve? I would give two weeks, not one. They might dismiss you on the spot - they might not. But two weeks is the most professional thing - don't stoop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitterfingers Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Thanks everyone for your advice. I understand giving notice is professional but the bridge has been burned a long time ago. I cannot use them as reference. Would you say it's still worth it to give one week notice? Or will one week won't make a difference since it's not two? These people are unreasonable and unthankful. If I give two weeks they will still think I'm awful and treat me worse. Yes because even if you don't use them as a reference, they can be contacted as part of a background check and some employers force you to agree to that as part of the hiring process It takes strength on your part as you're obviously (rightfully) angry with them. And no, they don't deserve it, but you deserve peace of mind If you're determined to give notice right away, just make sure you follow whatever is written in your employment agreement. And then call in sick if you can't bring yourself to get to work. They can't force you to be there, and most doctors will write a medical certificate for mental health reasons if necessary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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