Griffey Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Went on a first date last night that I think went very well. No issues, and a nice good night kiss at the end. I texted her today to reference a work thing she had today that she told me about. She didn't reply for three hours but seemed not too distant in her reply but a little bit. Not the worst I've seen after a first date. So I waited about a half hour and responded in kind, with something witty. She has not responded to this, which is fine. I'm happy we at least touched base. But I'm doubting whether she's interested or what. The question is though, when is the best time to ask her out on a second date. I think based on her approach today, I should wait a little bit, especially since I sent the last text. I don't want to come off needy/clingy. I like her though. Thoughts? Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Please quit trying to form something with her over text. Just ask her out again and save yourself overthinking. If she turns you down then next her. If she accepts then get to know her through face to face interacting. There is plenty of time to text once or if you get the chance to know more about her in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffey Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 Thanks for the reply, yeah I get that all and I agree. The question is when is the best time to ask her out now based on the facts I presented to ensure optimal results? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Thanks for the reply, yeah I get that all and I agree. The question is when is the best time to ask her out now based on the facts I presented to ensure optimal results? In the future I think 'optimal results' for a second date would be to planning it during the date, leaves no room for confusion or unnessesary stress. Since it's too late for that, just go for it, what do you have to lose? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffey Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 Her saying NO tonight because it's too soon, I'm being too needy. Or YES tomorrow because I gave space, etc. That's my ultimate issue. I agree eventually I have to ask for a second date, it's just when are the best chances? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellee Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Her saying NO tonight because it's too soon, I'm being too needy. Or YES tomorrow because I gave space, etc. That's my ultimate issue. I agree eventually I have to ask for a second date, it's just when are the best chances? Barring unusual circumstances, her answer would not change whether it's the first or second night after the date. She knew halfway into the first date whether she would want to see you again (likely even before that). In your case, you texted without saying much which could've left her confused. In any case, it doesn't matter much unless you made a fool of yourself, which doesn't seem like you did. Just ask her out again when you want to. Be natural. Don't make it so complicated. Please quit trying to form something with her over text. Just ask her out again and save yourself overthinking. If she turns you down then next her. If she accepts then get to know her through face to face interacting. There is plenty of time to text once or if you get the chance to know more about her in person. This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Her saying NO tonight because it's too soon, I'm being too needy. Or YES tomorrow because I gave space, etc. That's my ultimate issue. I agree eventually I have to ask for a second date, it's just when are the best chances? Wth does she need space for? She's met you once. She knows whether or not she wants to see you again, giving it 24 hours isn't going to change that. I agree with the other poster, she probably knew halfway through your date, as you did ambI correct? All this calculating and game playing is useless, if you like her, ask her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozhni Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 IMO I would have texted her at the end of the night and told her you had a great time and such. This will assure her that you enjoyed her. See what she says. Then give about two days before you reach out to her. The 2 days off will create wonder in her brain that will make her start thinking about you even if she’s slightly interested. 2 days is the perfect amount of time to not seem clingy or too distant. When you ask for the second date make sure it’s planned well and fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrueBlue631 Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 At the end of the first date, you tell her you would like to see her again. This shows that your interested, and that she should expect you reaching out for another date. Possibly for the following weekend. In my experience, you SHOULDN'T plan the date that same night. It looks desperate and rushed. If your first date was a Saturday, reach out on say Tuesday or Wednesday and plan something for that coming weekend. If she's interested, she'll make the time. Or, she'll propose a different day. I agree on the comment to make date #2 well planned and fun. This is the "make it or break it date". If you do this well and can get a third date, you're in like flint. If it's lame, she might start making excuses or will suddenly be very busy. My experience is make it a fun outdoor activity. Like a craft or street fair, or something with a lot going on that you can walk around and explore. 2nd date is not for the movies. Nor sporting events. I learned that through experience. In terms of communication between all of that, I'll admit I'm in the dark about that, but I posted a thread on it that many here responded to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffey Posted December 4, 2017 Author Share Posted December 4, 2017 Please quit trying to form something with her over text. Just ask her out again and save yourself overthinking. If she turns you down then next her. If she accepts then get to know her through face to face interacting. There is plenty of time to text once or if you get the chance to know more about her in person. Asked her out 3 days ago for Tuesday, she replied several hours later that Tuesday she can't but let's try another night next week (being this week). I said OK let me know what works... Haven't texted her since that, playing it cool. That was Friday, wondering how to proceed. Is she interested? Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 1) Soft close for the second date ON the first date - get your date to talk about things they like to do. Tell them that you'd like to see them again, etc. 2) Contact them to invite them on a second date. So now that its monday, its high time to remember what things you talked about and ask her to that restaurant she talked about wanting to try/or something else and give her the choice of two days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 Asked her out 3 days ago for Tuesday, she replied several hours later that Tuesday she can't but let's try another night next week (being this week). I said OK let me know what works... Haven't texted her since that, playing it cool. That was Friday, wondering how to proceed. Is she interested? Thanks. Tuesday is a rough night because its a work night. So when she said Tuesday wouldn't work, you didn't counteroffer her?? (like say "how about Tuesday or saturday)_. Its always good to include a weekend date to give them the impression that you are not looking for a side piece. I would have mentioned next weekend, IMHO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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