even deeper

[greenie35]

As I have posted a dozen or so times already...

 

I moved away with my Now ex boyfriend to a new town to attend school. After we broke up I was essentially completely alone. I have no friends, I go to school I work...that's about it.

 

Well, recently I went out after work with a lady I work with. There I met up with a guy I had talked to before. We ended up hooking up that night, and I really enjoyed his company. He was extremely sweet...sweeter than you'd expect from a one night stand. Well, to be honest I didn't forsee us seeing each other again, but I couldn't stop thinking about how sweet he was and how good it felt to be in someone's arms.

 

I moved into a new place this weekend and my parents drove many miles to come and help me. It was an extremely stressful weekend. I am sore everywhere from carrying all that junk up two flights of stairs, not to mention I have a ton of school work piling up as we are nearing finals. I also have to manage work on top of getting organized in my new place and finding time for studying. My parents hounded me about all the loose ends that need to be tied up with moving. All of this stuff is kinda jammed into my head. I know what I have to do it's just a matter of managing it all. I ended up having a blow up fight with my parents last night and I feel horrible about it. They really have helped me out a lot but some of the things they said were hurtful and they lacked understanding of all the responsibilities that I'm trying to take on at once.

 

They left this morning and I went to class..my eyes swollen from crying all night. I feel miserable...no motivation to do all that I need to do. To make matters worse my ex and I are not communcating on a positive level. I would like for us to just be cool with each other. I decided to call my "hook up" from the other night. I thought it would be nice for us to get together and just chill out. I mean he sounded interested in seeing me again..I figured why not. He was kinda weird on the phone. I didn't really know what to say I didn't want to come off too eager. I gave him my new number...who knows? We didnt make plans to see each other or anything. I just feel really crappy about that too...

All in all I feel just a whole heap of worthlessness right now...I have no energy. I look in the mirror and I see an old lady. I feel so old and washed up and lonely. I hope it gets better...

[Alabama]

When your starting out on your own, it can be hard to be able to get motivated to get what you need done. Yet all you need is time and things will get better. Once you find a great way to manage your time, then you'll be better off. Good luck!