Silverbirch Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Hey Carus, hope you are doing okay. Maybe I sound like Debbie Downer to some people, but when I see on ENA all the pain people go through with relationships, and Ive had my own personal share, I'm relieved and glad that aim not in a relationship or at the end of one. I remember agonising during my last relationship as my ex of 5 year relationship never even gave me a card for Valentines Dsy (or a birthday present). This yea, V Day was no big deal - but I did feel the love from family and my pets, and I was happy. Of course, you are all younger than I am so your chances of finding happiness in relationships is higher than mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Carus!!! Hiiiiiiiiiii I hope you're feeling okay, just letting you know I'm thinking of you, as always. And trust me, if I think of you, well then.....you're pretty darn special!!!! Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey383 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Hey everyone!!!!! Been a while for me also... Just want to say hello to the TEAM on here... I am jealous Sweetgirl.... Lol... I thought we had something going on... haha... Just kidding!!!!! :).... To everyone here: "Everything will be alright" :) Mikey :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Hey everyone!!!!! Been a while for me also... Just want to say hello to the TEAM on here... I am jealous Sweetgirl.... Lol... I thought we had something going on... haha... Just kidding!!!!! :).... To everyone here: "Everything will be alright" :) Mikey :) Hi Mikey! The party is still rolling here! Get a drink and set a spell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted February 16, 2018 Author Share Posted February 16, 2018 Hi Everyone, I'm very humbled that people are still posting on here....It's truly amazing! I'm hitting all time lows and about to try and sleep now (only got 3 hours last night), so I will try and post a better update tomorrow... Just wanted to express my surprise and gratitude here.... Talk Soon Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted February 16, 2018 Author Share Posted February 16, 2018 Of course, you are all younger than I am so your chances of finding happiness in relationships is higher than mine. My mum met her current partner when she was 74...3 years after my father passed away..... They are still together and she will be 84 this week.... And here I am at the end of yet another relationship.... Just sayin' ;-) xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey383 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Lmao, you're my back up guy! "Keep a pair, one for spare" Hope all is well, you seem to have moved forward nicely! I know you really struggled. Haha!!!! Now Carus and I are just a car.... lol... I hope we handle the road nicely... :) Yes.. I am doing great... You are right, I struggled... But it has been months... And I am so far ahead... It sure takes a while... And one day you wake up and say "Why do I care so much for something I have no control over"? And then you say " Ok, got to let it go, and move on, and do me".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey383 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Hi Everyone, I'm very humbled that people are still posting on here....It's truly amazing! I'm hitting all time lows and about to try and sleep now (only got 3 hours last night), so I will try and post a better update tomorrow... Just wanted to express my surprise and gratitude here.... Talk Soon Carus* We are here for you bud :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey383 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Hi Mikey! The party is still rolling here! Get a drink and set a spell Count me in :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 me tooooo! you guys are all wonderful ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Pretty much at Rock Bottom here guys as well. Think I have eaten a total of 1k calories in the past 3 days. Not sure why I have relapsed so hard but I think Im the lowest Ive been since the BU. Goin on 40 days now. I should be feeling better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 My mum met her current partner when she was 74...3 years after my father passed away..... They are still together and she will be 84 this week.... And here I am at the end of yet another relationship.... Just sayin' ;-) xx LOL, so not impossible, Thanks xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Pretty much at Rock Bottom here guys as well. Think I have eaten a total of 1k calories in the past 3 days. Not sure why I have relapsed so hard but I think Im the lowest Ive been since the BU. Goin on 40 days now. I should be feeling better. I was like that too after a breakup a few years ago. Nth at is BAASD. You need to start eating. So little food will definitely affect your mood and make you more anxious and depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 My mum met her current partner when she was 74...3 years after my father passed away..... They are still together and she will be 84 this week.... And here I am at the end of yet another relationship.... Just sayin' ;-) xx Aww!! This is beautiful! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 I keep reapeating “this too shall pass” in my head. And reminding myself nothing lasts forever and everything changes. Thx guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted February 17, 2018 Author Share Posted February 17, 2018 Hi Guys n Gals* ~ Pass the chips please Makeit* Move over Sputnik* and let an old man sit down will ya! ;-) Just wanted to drop a quick update....Today has been a little strange....Over the last week or so my pain level was back up over 5 and I found myself staring into the abyss once again.... But thankfully today it has returned to it's default level of 2.... 2 is ok. 2 I can live with, but when it goes up over 5 it is extremely tough to push through it.... I can tell myself all the positive thinking in the world, and workout, and go to the beach, and sleep and go to work etc etc, but the pain seems to have a life of its own and when it comes, it comes! The thoughts of her are still constant but are becoming a bit fuzzy and blurry....It's like they are slowly fading like a cloud..... For the longest time I wanted to hang on to them because they were my last connection to her and the life I loved so much..... But now I just want out....I want to get my life back...(I did say 'life' didn't I? lol) The psychological trauma has been so damaging to everything in my life and I must make more of a concerted effort to move past it now. As we know, for a lot of us, the mornings are the worst.... For me, I wake up earlier than I should and because I need to get enough rest to maintain my work, I can't really just get up.... So the problem was lying there thinking about her....As soon as I open my eyes, there she is.... SO, what I've started doing is, wake up, there she is...and I straight away start retraining my brain to think about something else...Anything else.... I have found that this is actually the best time to practice meditation and thought stopping....I will keep at it and report how it goes over the next few weeks and months. Thankfully work is going ok and again, a pain level of 2 is almost a welcome relief after experiencing it going up again like it did.... I have also started saying the word 'Love' out aloud with everything..."I love driving this car"..."I love living on the beach"...."I love this cup of coffee".....I find this is starting to help too..... And on that note, "I love everybody here!"....and I mean that one too* :) Today I am grateful for: A) My rose quartz heart that lives with me and goes everywhere with me now. B) My thread that has seemed to have helped so many people and brought us all together. C) The fact that my 84 year old mother is still alive and in good health. Back soon. Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 Good to hear from you friend. Glad youre in a better spot this week. This week has probably been my worst altho today has been one of the better days. I often think about training my brain to think about something else. Wasnt sure if this was a positive thing to do in terms of healing or not? Interesting. Yep add me of the list who just wants to forget her completely. Im ready to chalk it up as a gone memory. Fed up,Tired, broken and a shell of myself. But Im still alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Good to hear from you friend. Glad youre in a better spot this week. This week has probably been my worst altho today has been one of the better days. I often think about training my brain to think about something else. Wasnt sure if this was a positive thing to do in terms of healing or not? Interesting. Yep add me of the list who just wants to forget her completely. Im ready to chalk it up as a gone memory. Fed up,Tired, broken and a shell of myself. But Im still alive. I've started trying to "train my brain" as well - but more related to memory and learning. In recent months, I found myself becoming forgetful and foggy and was thinking that I was losing my marbles. It does now look as if that was related to anxiety and aive started eating and sleeping better. However, I am currently working with people who have sustained brain damage either from stroke or degenerative disorders. I'm currently seeing a man who had a stroke last year begin to talk again! That's been exciting. Later in the month, I'm commencing studies online with one of the universities in related subjects. There are some things that clients are encouraged to do to get their brains working better again, and Ive started doing this too. As I learn more, I I'll try these things too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Good to hear from you friend. Glad youre in a better spot this week. This week has probably been my worst altho today has been one of the better days. I often think about training my brain to think about something else. Wasnt sure if this was a positive thing to do in terms of healing or not? Interesting. Yep add me of the list who just wants to forget her completely. Im ready to chalk it up as a gone memory. Fed up,Tired, broken and a shell of myself. But Im still alive. I wish I could give you all a hefty dose of my f*** it attitude, lol. Cook it up in some meatballs and send them to you! I'm a person whom once I'm done, I'm done. And I'm done! I only lease space in my heart for so long. Once that lease expires, so does the room they rent there. Now I just have to find a man I'm crazy about that offers me up more than fwb's hahahahahaha OMG it's torture this dating stuff. Worse than heartache sometimes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makeit Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Id take it Sweetgirl! Im italian so meatballs work. Sadly being Italian also gave me a intense loving and attaching personality. This is my third go round of intense heartbreak. I remember telling myself Never again after the first one years ago. I too dont fall often but when I do I fall hard. And I never really see it coming. The attatchment or the breakup. If I could describe how Im feeling itd be like spending a year in a prison camp. Then getting out only a few years later to be dragged back clawing and screaming and locked up once again. Drives me insane. Another thing that bothers me is the fact I really didnt take in the last almost 4 years of the relauonship as much as I wish I would have. I took it for granted. Thinking this might be it. What I wouldnt give to be able to start those 4 years over again even knowing the inevitable end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Id take it Sweetgirl! Im italian so meatballs work. Sadly being Italian also gave me a intense loving and attaching personality. This is my third go round of intense heartbreak. I remember telling myself Never again after the first one years ago. I too dont fall often but when I do I fall hard. And I never really see it coming. The attatchment or the breakup. If I could describe how Im feeling itd be like spending a year in a prison camp. Then getting out only a few years later to be dragged back clawing and screaming and locked up once again. Drives me insane. Another thing that bothers me is the fact I really didnt take in the last almost 4 years of the relauonship as much as I wish I would have. I took it for granted. Thinking this might be it. What I wouldnt give to be able to start those 4 years over again even knowing the inevitable end. I'm Italian also, I love deep and try not to attach, I'm really good at giving space and not being clingy but emotionally, if someone steals my heart, they know it. It never needs to be questioned. I know it feels like never again to want to go through the pain, but guess what? You'll fall in love again. We all will. And we cannot help it! We love who we love. Here's to hoping we don't let our exes cause us more pain, and new found loves will not end in such heartache. A part of it may be in choosing a different type than we are used to. I knew I should not have gotten involved with my ex, he was just divorcing. The chemistry was amazing, we just "got" one another. Like we knew each other forever. It's rare for me to click like that, and I lose interest easily. I'm sorry you have regrets and feeling like you took the relationship for granted, but don't forget it's easy to fall into a comfort zone and you get so used to the person being there, you take little things here and there for granted. It's only human to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArtLover51 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Carus, I’ve been following your thread for months. I have prayed for you, cried with you and felt your pain in my heart. I have rejoiced in your achievements and cheered for your “baby steps” in moving through this journey. I really loved that you empathized an older lady who posted on this thread with words of encouragement about senior relationships with the story about your mom. I know you are heart-sick and I am as well! My 7 year relationship ended September 2017, and sometimes I wonder if I will ever be whole again! I am 66 years old and the bad news is that relationships are still as complicated for the old as they are for the young. I started NC when I saw my ex on Match last week, my heart broke all over again in a million pieces. Wouldn’t you think that by this age, when women are independent, still smokin’ hot, confident, cute and sexy, we would have overcome this crushing heartbreak when someone just stops loving us? Apparently NOT! Anyway, I follow you and I’m gonna keep cheering you on! You give me hope that there are men out there that are capable of having deep feelings and I hope you never scar over and become hardened. In the end Love is so worth whatever we suffer. There just is not a greater feeling in the world than having that person that thinks you are wonderful. Everyone needs someone to think they are wonderful. I hope you find that person someday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Hello Taylor, That is a beautiful post. Welcome. I am very sorry to hear of your pain. Love is love, no matter of any other factors. It doesn't really get easier, the older we get, sadly. *Carus should be extremely proud of his work of art on here and it's very heartening that many people have found comfort and solidarity through it. S x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 Carus, I’ve been following your thread for months. I have prayed for you, cried with you and felt your pain in my heart. I have rejoiced in your achievements and cheered for your “baby steps” in moving through this journey. I really loved that you empathized an older lady who posted on this thread with words of encouragement about senior relationships with the story about your mom. I know you are heart-sick and I am as well! My 7 year relationship ended September 2017, and sometimes I wonder if I will ever be whole again! I am 66 years old and the bad news is that relationships are still as complicated for the old as they are for the young. I started NC when I saw my ex on Match last week, my heart broke all over again in a million pieces. Wouldn’t you think that by this age, when women are independent, still smokin’ hot, confident, cute and sexy, we would have overcome this crushing heartbreak when someone just stops loving us? Apparently NOT! Anyway, I follow you and I’m gonna keep cheering you on! You give me hope that there are men out there that are capable of having deep feelings and I hope you never scar over and become hardened. In the end Love is so worth whatever we suffer. There just is not a greater feeling in the world than having that person that thinks you are wonderful. Everyone needs someone to think they are wonderful. I hope you find that person someday! Thankyou so much for your kind words....I get a bit emotional when people say such nice things. It makes me wonder why my ex can't see it you know...? I'm so sorry for your situation. 7 years is a long time! I've been thinking about that for the last couple of days. If my marriage was going to end at some point, I'm glad it did when it did rather than drag out for another 10-15 years and then end! I'm sorry there's not much to follow here anymore. It was more active when there was still hope but now she's gone and I'm just trying my best to recover. It really has sent me over the edge! But I'm doing all I can....as we all must. I still log in every day and check on everyone but I don't post as much here as I feel ashamed that I'm still so broken after all this time...And it's been pretty bad over the last week or so....Hopefully start to pick up a bit from here on. Be Strong Everyone. It is always darkest before the dawn* Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OllieB123 Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 Just 4 hours and 2 minutes of this blasted day left here! lol Thanks *Carus, Sweets and Makeit for the wonderful support. Good to hear from you Ollie.. very nice words indeed :) How are you getting on buddy? This thread has become quite the hang-out joint! A bad grind at the office all told, but tomorrow is another day and will press forward, with renewed enthusiasm... I urge you all to follow me! lol Very pleased that the grateful list has returned brother. You truly only get 1 Mum.. Take good care of her ;) "There has to be some good to come out of that situation....Emotionally stronger? More self aware?" - I do believe so.. 99% of the time! I'm glad that today wasn't too bad for you.. I tried to avoid ANY social media today.. far too many happy people for my liking ;p I hope work is OK and that you manage to keep some decent kip. Speak on the morrow. I'm off for a super early night. My son is with friends for a few days, so I'm home alone! S x I'm surviving man. I think, physically and mentally I'm coping well. There are still moments where I fall into a black hole very briefly. But hey ho, we've all gotta power through. Hope you're well too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.