Makeit Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Amen! And I'm the angry girl! Lol We all need to grab reality by the balls, stop this hurt because some of it we are causing ourselves, and get the hell out there and connect with someone who WANTS us, who VALUES us, who SHOWS us they care. It's time to break the chains of love and free our hearts and minds! I so wish we could all meet up and have shots and a bonfire and music and bury all this pain in the sand. Not even let it wash away, cuz it might find its way back to shore! Bury it! F the exe's. They are an ex for a reason! Let's so, remember that and know we deserve better. Drinks and a bonfire would do us all some good! I wish we could as well. Its interesting how we all “know” each other not by face but just from knowing what we are all going thru. I will say that for some of us, myself included. My ex met all the values you mentioned. The thing that hurts the most is that they changed. Why cant we just find someone who holds onto the loyalty that we have! I never understood why people lose that feeling once you get it. I never have with the 3 times ive been in love. I hate dating someone new! I hate not being comfortable and you give me a scenerio where the sex is better the first time compared to the 100th and beyond after you loosen up and know each others likes,dislikes, kinks ect. Im sorry just being blunt here! I dont get it. I know im a catch. I know we all are. In a age of fake emotions and disloyal actions it makes me sick that the good people IE us are the ones left to suffer. This world we live..... Carus. Keep posting buddy. I can feel your level of hurt in your words lately. We are all suffering. I am suffering every god dang second I am awake. We will get thru this together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morello Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Hi Carus, I hope you get rid of this feeling quickly my friend. In the end you're still going through some grieving, like most here. There's a nice new video of Craig Kenneth about sadness x depression. I have my view on depression that is related to the scientific studies I read, that one of the most important factors relevant to whether anxiety/stress leads to depression is how the person copes. That is related to attachment styles and our individual ability to deal with difficult situations, but can also be learned. Meditation, for example, is a 'proven' way to cope with it. But it needs a mindset change too. I went to some Budhist teachings on Saturday that talked about attachment. We project our needs onto a situation that we think is ideal, and if it doesn't go that way we feel miserable. We fail to accept that everything is temporary, even ourselves. Some things are in our control, others are not. For the latter, we just need to accept and move on, no matter how hard it looks. And logically, it makes sense. They said attachment eventually wears off, no matter how long it takes and then ponder whether we could let go much earlier, considering that the final output at some future point will be to wear it off anyway. Soone or later, we all move on eventually. We've all dealt with death of loved ones before and now matter how hard it is when it happens, with time, we let go of the attachent and accept to live without that person. Some people take weeks, months, years, other decades. They still grieve, but it's an aceptance kind of one once they reach that point. With relationships it's kind of similar, as some exes end up becoming almost literally dead to us. We do what we can and if doesn't work, it wasn't meant to be that way. We learn and move on, almost instinctively. If we get stuck, it's because of dellusions and projections of you wanting/thinking things and if they don't happen, we freak out. Idealising some sort of fantasy of people we date, failing to accept certain things. Anyway, what I mean is that you try to see this process as necessary and just keep as strong as you can through the bad weather. In the end, people keep changing and life leads us all to different ways at some stage, and you'll keep meeting interesting people through your journey. You'll move on when it's time to, you are on the right track regardless of if it doesn't feel that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Drinks and a bonfire would do us all some good! I wish we could as well. Its interesting how we all “know” each other not by face but just from knowing what we are all going thru. I will say that for some of us, myself included. My ex met all the values you mentioned. The thing that hurts the most is that they changed. Why cant we just find someone who holds onto the loyalty that we have! I never understood why people lose that feeling once you get it. I never have with the 3 times ive been in love. I hate dating someone new! I hate not being comfortable and you give me a scenerio where the sex is better the first time compared to the 100th and beyond after you loosen up and know each others likes,dislikes, kinks ect. Im sorry just being blunt here! I dont get it. I know im a catch. I know we all are. In a age of fake emotions and disloyal actions it makes me sick that the good people IE us are the ones left to suffer. This world we live..... Carus. Keep posting buddy. I can feel your level of hurt in your words lately. We are all suffering. I am suffering every god dang second I am awake. We will get thru this together. Right, dating someone new is supposed to fun and exciting, yet when you lost someone you love, dating is a chore. We all like what's known and comfortable to us, which is why so many choose to stay in broken relationships just because of fear of the unknown. You know what you have, but you don't know what you're going to get. It's a double edged sword at times. I myself am so turned off by the thought of sex with someone else. What if it's bad? After I had it so good? Lol If an ex would never change their loyalty and their actions, they wouldn't be an ex, right? Things happen that break down relationships and if both don't choose to work through it, well then there's the breakup. And to recapture feelings and trust can be so difficult when time elapses. It's always best to just push forward through it and remind ourselves we are worth more than anyone who didn't see us as worth holding onto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Hey Carus! I hope today finds you in better spirits! I also want to thank you, and everyone who posts here because your words do ring thru my head. I almost caved last night and had sex with this guy that was hottttttttttttt lol because I was so mad at myself because of the ex, and I wanted to just have that freedom to get under someone else to forget the pain. Then these thoughts were going thru my head, that I would just feel worse today had I done so. So let's all keep muddling thru this together, strengthening one another, lending an ear, support, friendship, and hopefully we all make good choices and decisions that are right for us, no matter the pain we are feeling in the moment. Thank you for your friendship :love-struck: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beebs82 Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it!!! I try to remind myself of this. That the answer to happiness going forward will not lie with our exes. It has to come from somewhere else. They are he source of our pain. So they are not the solution either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted February 4, 2018 Author Share Posted February 4, 2018 Hello my dear ENA family* Carus. Keep posting buddy. OK. You have asked and I shall provide :) Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it!!! I try to remind myself of this. That the answer to happiness going forward will not lie with our exes. It has to come from somewhere else. They are he source of our pain. So they are not the solution either Ooh I like that* Unfortunately, because of attachment, routine and the way our brains work, when we are being rejected our brain goes into survival mode and tells us that in order to survive and the pain to stop we must reunite with our ex..... Now if that happens in the short term then yes, relief will come....but for how long? I've never gotten back with an ex so I personally don't know the answer to that....But for the stories I've seen where the couple does reunite, the majority don't seem to last... This is why I think 3 important ingredients to a successful reconciliation are: 1) Time. More time equals more chance of it working. 2) The dumper must be the one to want to come back on their own accord. 3) Your emotional state if and when that happens.... If you are still emotionally in turmoil then you probably won't handle it in the best way and no real changes have taken hold yet either. @Morello* ~ Yes I saw that Craig Kenneth video. Very good. I never understood why people lose that feeling once you get it. I relate to that^...All my relationships have ended while I seem to still be very much in love. It is a bit confusing.... But I was thinking about that today. If someone was so in love with you, and then their feelings changed and they left, then maybe there is that chance that their feelings would change again and they would start wanting to see if they can make it work with you....I've not experienced it myself but I've certainly seen it happen... As Craig Kenneth likes to say: Feelings change like clouds in the sky* Journal ~ A Second Chance* So yeh the last 48 hours were back down the snake of the 'Snakes and Ladders' of healing....Pain, crying, all that lovely stuff.... As much as I hate it, I also accept it and let it come....And I remind myself that I'm only 12 weeks out of a 5 year marriage to someone I was deeply connected to, and only 2 weeks out from when I last saw her.... But I'm feeling better again now and here's why: Work is going along good again after that little test from the Universe. I had an early night tonight so when I got home I started work on a new project that I've been meaning to get going over the last couple of weeks....I look forward to working on that* Whilst I was working on that guess who texted me...? Little Miss Jessica*... So don't turn the stove off just yet :) Her text said: "Hi Carus. I'm terribly sorry I haven't responded to you sooner as I haven't been very well. I will get back to you properly when I'm feeling more myself again. Hope you can forgive me. Speak to you soon and hope you had a lovely weekend :)". Where's Sputnik so I can high five him..? So I just sent back: "Well it seems you've forgiven me for my OTT text so of course :) Hey I'm sorry you're not feeling well right now. Rest up and take it easy ok. And hmm...the weekend. Guess who elses car broke down? Talk soon." Now whether it's good or bad it certainly lifted my spirits. Mainly because I thought that I'd blown it, and perhaps I haven't..... These last 48 hours though have taught me to just cool my jets.....Take more of a laid back approach to it and continue focusing on my self and my healing....her interest is obviously still there. Suffice to say I think I'll sleep with a smile on my face tonight* But sleep I must as it hasn't come easy over the last couple of days and it's 2:30am here now! Today I'm grateful for: A) This thread that has become a unity for all of us. B) The Universe giving me a second chance with Jess* (note to self: Don't blow it this time! lol) C) The fact I have an income. Will check in tomorrow....Away with you Pain Monster!! Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it!!! I try to remind myself of this. That the answer to happiness going forward will not lie with our exes. It has to come from somewhere else. They are he source of our pain. So they are not the solution either THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is so true! Mine causes me pain. I'm stopping. He did reply to me early this morning, like "are you a hater or a lover"? I only replied late this afternoon to say the song I sent made me think of how people think of him, and that I don't waste my energy on hating anyone , and that he's a hard person not to like. That's all I said. So yes, how can someone who caused you so much pain heal that pain, when they don't want to be with you? They can't. I'm learning even trying "friendship" hurts. It's really true that you absolutely need to feel indifferent towards your ex to even text or bump into them once in a while. Otherwise the hurt just resurfaces, and you end up questioning every little action. It's not healthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Carus, you're the man! Lol Okay now play it cool with Jessica. It's on her to text you now. Glad you are in better spirits :unconscious: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Right here with you brother! You are back in the game (although you never actually left the game..) *High five* lol Yes, the point of the "source of the pain never being the solution" is so pertinent.. most of us would wish it not to be true, but let's face it, these people chose not to be with us, for whatever reason, so there is a need to heal, as best we can, in our own time and carry on regardless! (this is my "Englishness" coming out..). Now, I find myself enjoying commenting on others, rather than drone on about my perceived lack of progress in fully consigning my ex to history. Will comment on that tomorrow, as would have hit the 4 month b/up mark (that's another point, so many of us make notes of post b/up and NC dates.. I was thinking, usually the dumpers wouldn't have a clue about the numbers we are so fixated on!) rambling.. been a good, but long day. "As much as I hate it, I also accept it and let it come....And I remind myself that I'm only 12 weeks out of a 5 year marriage to someone I was deeply connected to, and only 2 weeks out from when I last saw her...." - In simplistic time terms, this is not long at all.. don't most people say that much of it is "reset" at last contact? The laid back *Carus approach is the way forward with Jessica, or others that cross your path for now at least.. this is all about concentrating on You and Your well-being and ultimate happiness! ;) It's great that work is going well.. we all need the income and think about how worse things would actually be/look with major financial worries.. I have to say, we have all got to know you quite well, I am intrigued with yesterday's comment that other forces are at play.. Please divulge, if possible :) I have given the Pain Monster the week off, so he won't be bothering you brother ;) Sleep well. S x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morello Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Hi Carus, that is a much better update than the one before! Great to hear Jessica got back in touch. But might be weise for you to think you're ready to go forward with her if given the chance. Maybe if you take longer in your healing process you can fully prepare yourself so your next relationship is even better than the last. It's great to have options though and feel needed. THis will help you keep strong my friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Hi Carus, and everyone here! Hope you all had a great weekend. I want to say that you all are doing the right thing with NC. Just as I was feeling better, the contact set me back again. I have my guy BFF begging me to cut my ex off because he now sees me developing a pattern with the men I'm choosing. I hate to admit it, but he's right. Out of the four prospects, I'm leaning towards the one who long distance of three hours. Why? Because I'm not where I should be, and the distance is safe for me. Had I not responded to the ex I'd be okay. Last night he text me again, and again I caved. I tried not to, but idk, I can't bring myself to ignore him. So my guy BFF is so supportive and now I'm hurting him because he sees me hurting myself :( My ex was great is many ways, we never fought until the breakup night actually. He was awful then, and after but he's been back to who I knew, sweet and joking, and it makes it harder. Just his contact his sporadic. So, stay NC guys! It hurts, but you will be able to push forward without so many setbacks. If ever you reach the stage of indifference, you can break it. But probably wouldn't even want to at that point. Do not torture yourselves wanting to reach out. He dumped me, I don't initiate contact anymore and he keeps coming back. Like my BFF said, for how long? Am I passing up good opportunities because my heart is tied to my ex? Probably. But honestly I'm not ready. Im back at the point I'm going to be comparing everyone to him. That isn't fair to anyone. Stay strong people. Don't be me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Hey Sweets, My heart aches for you.. very sorry you feeling like this. You are such a fantastic person! Can you not get a new number and change all contact address? :) You need to make it impossible for him to reach you (then, vice versa). S xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Hey Sweets, My heart aches for you.. very sorry you feeling like this. You are such a fantastic person! Can you not get a new number and change all contact address? :) You need to make it impossible for him to reach you (then, vice versa). S xx Hi sweetie! Thank you. I had him blocked a few weeks ago but he used different numbers. So I unblocked him. Now he uses his cell number. I delete him, get strong, and there he is again. Thing is the attachment went pretty deep. My ex stalked us, drove right at us head on, sat in restaurants we were in watching us and taking pictures. Harassed him, destroyed my family relationships, so much happened. And yet he never got mad, gave up, or let is show how annoyed he was by it. I felt safe, protected, and honestly I feel so vulnerable and scared now. It's just my daughter and I and my other ex is still an a hole that is awful to me. My ex dumped me because the drama did catch up, he's 53, who wants that nonsense? Everyone wants to be able to go out and relax and not worry the girl they are with is being stalked. I understand that. The breakup happened because of his insecurity because my daughters bf's dad at the time really made it seem I was cheating with him. I hate that guy. He admitted he purposely did it in hopes of breaking us up. And it worked. My ex in his heart I think knows I'm not the type to be unfaithful , but I do think his mind controls way more, and he was burned in his marriage and it's only been less than a year and a half since his marriage of 17 years ended. So my contact with him, though I won't initiate, has a deep rooted attachment. I need to let that go. I just don't know how. I'm giving myself anxiety over going on these dates. So much so I know I won't show up. Plus my other ex he will be stalking again and it scares me. My life is a hot mess. So my ex was my security blanket of sorts. Known,comfortable, safe, and even though I'm a grown woman with a child I still feel like a helpless little girl who needs her daddy sometimes lol. I feel so lost and I tend to want to keep in my comfort zone of what's familiar to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted February 5, 2018 Author Share Posted February 5, 2018 Hi Beautiful Peoples* It's great to have options though and feel needed. This will help you keep strong my friend! Yes I'm finding Jessica to be a great distraction. If I start thinking about my exwife and getting pain I can switch the thoughts to Jess...whatever happens. I do find though that I still miss my marriage, that comfortableness, that familiarity, the coming home to a hot meal left out for me, the being able to text or call her whenever I wanted instead of having to play this dumb dating game...etc.... Still, that is gone now and I need to continuing working on coming to accept it....I'm still quite entrenched in Denial I think....Sometimes I even really feel that she does miss me but the silence brings me back to reality* The laid back *Carus approach is the way forward with Jessica, or others that cross your path for now at least.. this is all about concentrating on You and Your well-being and ultimate happiness! Definitely Brother* ~ I need to continue focusing on healing my heart because I still have a ways to go* Jessica is a nice distraction but she could be gone any moment and even if things progress with her, I would hate to cut my healing short, if that makes sense.... In simplistic time terms, this is not long at all.. don't most people say that much of it is "reset" at last contact? Seems to be that way...Most of us here have had some kind of contact recently and I'm not seeing many people that ecstatic about it! I have to say, we have all got to know you quite well, I am intrigued with yesterday's comment that other forces are at play.. Please divulge, if possible It's very deep and wide Buddy and hard for most people to understand, but I'll just say for now that it is loss, loss, and more loss....I've almost lost count of how many times I've had to reinvent myself and rebuild my life after my partner leaves me....but it's many....I just don't know what more there is to do or learn. I even went to Uni and got a degree in counseling and psychotherapy for crissakes! And that involved 3 years of intense personal growth and self reflection... There are also many other big losses apart from my partners... With my wife I thought I finally had it all sorted...Which is why I think I'm still stuck in Denial quite a bit....Like I can't believe I'm here again! I have given the Pain Monster the week off, so he won't be bothering you brother You lied...! ;-) Sadly mornings are still the worst for me and I have to use most of my strength to push through it.....A big part of that is mornings used to be 'our time'... I'm still waking up too early and can't get back to sleep so the dwelling starts....I would get up but I need to stay on top of my fatigue to get through the 10-12 hour work days safely.... So yes, how can someone who caused you so much pain heal that pain, when they don't want to be with you? They can't. I'm learning even trying "friendship" hurts. It's really true that you absolutely need to feel indifferent towards your ex to even text or bump into them once in a while. Otherwise the hurt just resurfaces, and you end up questioning every little action. It's not healthy. You are dead on dear SweetGirl* ~ In that Breakup Recovery Guide that I hold in quite high regard it says, the only meaningful contact from the ex is a definite want to get back together, everything else is just noise....And I think we can all vouch for that lately.... Of course if they did want to get back together I believe the pain would be almost gone in an instant....I was speaking to one of my brothers today about that and I said "....whether that is right or wrong"...meaning we should be happy by ourselves....But he said "I don't see anything wrong with it. It would be a good thing".....I'll go with that as it would ring true for me....I could continue on the path of personal growth within the relationship I'm sure* I want to say that you all are doing the right thing with NC. Just as I was feeling better, the contact set me back again. Stay strong people. Don't be me! ....or me ;-) Your recent posts have made me understand why you think my ex will still contact me, but my history seems to say otherwise* As much as I wish I would hear from my ex again, as we said above, unless it's about getting back together, or at least hinting at it, no good will come of it....In fact, bad will come of it......Bad! lol I'm sorry that he is still causing you grief....but we are all here for you and you are so worthy of love. If he can't give that to you, for whatever reason, it is certainly his loss! Basically Groundhog Day for me today....Wake up, feel like death, push through, go to work, feel slightly better, get home tired....rinse and repeat... I've decided I need to address my rent situation...this apartment is amazing but the rent is killing me...I love having my own space but I may have to look at getting a roommate....Someone who works away would be good lol If it wasn't for my stoopid exwife, I'd be rolling in dough like Scrooge McDuck now...! It's what I worked hard for for 2 years and now I feel like I'm back at square one again financially.... grrrrrrr.....stoopid ex. :nightmare: Have a Healthy and Productive day everyone* Carus* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 I have fallen in love with many things in my life.. your journal entries being one of them! Distractions, in any form, are so welcome for us aren't they! A distraction that could potentially bear serious fruit one day are even better.. "I do find though that I still miss my marriage, that comfortableness, that familiarity, the coming home to a hot meal left out for me, the being able to text or call her whenever I wanted instead of having to play this dumb dating game...etc..." - There it is. In one sentence. Also the reason that you, rightly, say that most people would welcome their ex back with loving arms, given the chance, together with the right "conditions". I still also have quite alot of Denial going on, so it's catching! "Quote Originally Posted by sputnik123 I have given the Pain Monster the week off, so he won't be bothering you brother You lied...! ;-)" - The sheer disobedience! I will have to consider firing him altogether ;) "Basically Groundhog Day for me today....Wake up, feel like death, push through, go to work, feel slightly better, get home tired....rinse and repeat..." - Sorry to digress, last week, Sky Comedy channel had Groundhog day on repeat ALL.DAY.LONG.. I couldn't decide whether it was funny, or stoooopid. I decided on abit of both. I will be your roomie - problem solved, perfect for you, as I will have a 18,000 mile daily round-trip commute ;) I am contributing your "something to be grateful for" today... you are not in subzero England at present!!! it's freeeeezeballs! Finally, on the subject of loss, I think it's a major of mine.. lol (English sense of humour again). by the age of 30 i'd lost my mum, brother and 3/4 grandparents, besides all the damned heartbreak etc.. any time you wanna talk about anything at all we are here.. :) I hope you catch plenty of zzzzz's my man. Speak on the morrow. S x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRedTech33 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 I completely understand SweetGirl. My ex texted me late last Friday night saying she misses contact with me, asking where I was and what I was doing. I kept it light but I responded. I think she wanted to meet up but wanted me to initiate it or something. I know she was drunk cause it was late and she repeated the same question a couple times. It wasn't much of a conversation, but I am now wondering if she was just drunk and really doesn't want to see me or want me anymore. I wonder too if she still has a bf, cause I was too scared to ask that night. I should have been stronger and grilled her about whether or not she is seeing someone and if so, where is he at at 1am while she is texting me? I was so emotional today I had to leave work early, icould have probably toughed it out but I was really upset. Deep in my heart I still love her and want nothing but to be together again and see if we can make it work. I want to message her and ask if she is still seeing that guy, and if so I will just say goodbye again, reminding her that I am not ready to be just friends. If she wants to get together and see about reconciling then there is something to talk about. I really understand what you are saying though about the dates. I met a nice girl on Saturday night at a friends bday dinner, and she friended me on facebook right after dinner. I want to ask her to coffee but I am afraid I am not ready and will end up missing out on a nice woman. I just don't know what to do honestly. I asked out a bartender last week I reaaly had a big crush on, and I felt like that was someone I wouldn't be afraid to pursue. but after Friday night and the contact with my ex, I am 2nd guessing my progress in hopes that she and I will reunite. its so messed up. I kept checking my phone all night during my friends birthday dinner. what do you guys think I should do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Yeah Carus, I agree on this dating game being dumb! I think we all miss the familiararity we had with our exes, everything was known...comfortable. Now here we are trying to push forward, trying to connect, trying to figure out someone new, all the while we have our own pain we are still carrying. And wanting to be in a relationship, yet not wanting to be because our thoughts still drift elsewhere. Do we really, truly, miss being with our exes, or are we missing the idea of having them there at a moments notice to call, To text, to see, to touch. Who knows. We can all certainly have that with new relationships. I had reached the point of knowing I could walk right on by mine if I saw him, and then boom! He acted cute and sweet and I fell apart again. We are all kind of hanging in limbo right now, except for our dear Piaresssss who seems to be better than all of us right now! But we know he still hurts too. So here we are.....some have contact, some don't, everyone wants it. Those of us who have it can't move on, those who don't still can't move on. Wth? Lol What is the magic solution here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 RedTech, straight up ask her since she keeps contacting you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morello Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Hi Sweets, it's funny isn't it? Contact does not seem to be doing good to any of us. Piaressss is doing good indeed, but he's been NC for longer than all of us probably. I agree we just miss the familiarity. Or at least this is what we miss the most. And true, this is something we can have again, while also entertaining a completely new person with new hobbies, interests... There's an interesting and exciting side to it too I think. RedTech, I would do as Sweets suggested, but I wouldn't do it over message. I'd just be casual when she gets in touch again and ask her out, maybe something quick like a coffee or just go for a brief walk together. I don't recomend doing it over messages because it will be hard for you to accurately 'read' what she is saying. I mean, at least try to get her on the phone but I would still try to do it in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRedTech33 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 I messaged her. the odds of getting her to meet up are slim knowing her. I said 'hey, hope you are good. have a question. do you still have a boyfriend?" a little anxiety but it can't be any worse than some of the other painful moments I have gone through so I guess we will see if she even has the courtesy to respond. if she doesn't I hope I will be done after that, and have enough respect for myself and my feelings to leave her behind because she is selfish. we''ll see if she replies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRedTech33 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 funny thing Carus, my ex's name is Jessica. lol I thought for awhile that I must be going nuts cause I kept seeing that name everywhere. but I guess it is just a really common name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 I messaged her. the odds of getting her to meet up are slim knowing her. I said 'hey, hope you are good. have a question. do you still have a boyfriend?" a little anxiety but it can't be any worse than some of the other painful moments I have gone through so I guess we will see if she even has the courtesy to respond. if she doesn't I hope I will be done after that, and have enough respect for myself and my feelings to leave her behind because she is selfish. we''ll see if she replies You have to be done after this if she doesn't reply! Or if she replies with a yes she still has a BF. I think all of our exes must be related lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRedTech33 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 she replied. she says she is not with the guy, just hanging out with him, not in a relationship. not sure how to reply. she also said she is focusing on herself right now. I am getting anxious, don't know if I should respond Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRedTech33 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 I am curious if you guys think I should ask her on a date? not sure that it's a good idea but I really want to see if we still have chemistry after all this time apart and the BS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRedTech33 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Carus, I would love your opinion on this. I hope you are doing well man. I understand the emotions, I still cry over my ex often, today was rough. now she is saying all this and basically trying to be all casual still. Don't know what to do, I want to see her again, but I have other woman interested and can't pick one. I want my ex still. should I see if she will go on the date? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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